Is maternity leave sexist ?

[mozhe]

I think so.....surely it should be parental leave that is available to both parents,( or maybe even members of the wider family network, like grandparents ? ), and there should be financial incentives to encourage both parents to take it. What do other people think ? Instead of trying to make maternity leave longer should we not focus on supporting parents back into work sooner and providing better/cheaper/more appropriate childcare...

they had em in the filed in my day, popped one out and reet back to work. matrnity pay my arse.

field*

"My understanding of the recent changes to parental leave is that out of the 9 months paid leave now given, fathers are entitled to take 3 months of this (paid also). Surely this is the government at least trying to make things parental rather than maternal focused."

Oh good grief. Paid at some £105 per week. What a big help that is. When men get the same financial offering that women get, then we can start to be treated equally in the work place. If my DH said he was going to stay home for that rate of pay, I'd tell him to get off his lazy arse and go to work.

Are you using your employer's time and facilities to read and post? or should you be using leave for that? People have different jobs, I could not give 100% to my work at the end, so it was better for me to be on maternity leave for a few weeks, I never had time to read mumsnet whilst at work, or do very much at all bar sleep at weekends/evenings. If I was doing a 9-6 with little effort required it would be a different decision.

nbg, for some women breastfeeding is easy, it was for me, but i agree that it's not easy for everybody at the start. i certainly makes things more complicated at work when you've got to go off in your breaks to express ( as I did).

This idea that we should be getting back to work immediately after the birth is a bit crazy though. There's no way I would want to put a brand new baby in childcare. i would rather spend some time getting to know the new arrival rather than giving him/her to someone else to spend those precious first months with.
How is it better for a newborn to spend their time in an institution (day nursery) or with a stranger (cm, nanny) than to spend time with their mother.
Personally i think even three months is way too young for a baby to go into full-time childcare.

Eleusis - the majority of maternity pay is only £112/week

"Why shouldn't women work up until their due date ? Would it be so terrible if labour started at work,( it's rarely very dramatic at the beginning...), two of mine have."

Hahahahahahaha - this HAS to be a joke........yes???? I'm not due for another 2 weeks - but stopped work at the start of April (took my Annual Leave in April, Mat leave started in May). There is no way on earth I could have worked much longer than that. I loved my job (hated my employers - but that's a whole different thread ) and the hours I worked (yes some people do actually enjoy working night shifts - and part time too ) but it was also physically draining being on my feet for 9hrs a night, and being up for 36hr stretches and near the end I was starting to feel ill from the tiredness and being on my feet for so long.

I wouldn't particularly have wanted to go into the exhausting process of labour after having been up for 24hrs or more.......personally I'm quite enjoying the fact that I wake up each morning 'refreshed' and ready for the fact that things could start happening.

Labour can go on for days - and I (personally) would rather I'm at least going in it having had some sleep within the last 12hrs or so than having a labour going on for days and being exhausted before it even begins!

Oh and from this month onwards I will get a big fat zero for my maternity leave.

"I have never taken a single day off before the birth,"

Well done - what do you want a round of applause because you've had easy, uncomplicated pregnancies?????

Not to mention looking after your 2 ds's too FA.

Nbg - oh yes - forgot about them

So its not like your getting up in a morning to sit on your bum all day and watch tv is it.

I'm pregnant with my 3rd atm and was only saying this morning how thankful I am that I'm not working.

well...........TV, bum........emmm no of course not

Perhaps women should have to work up to the point they are in labour and have a midwife come into their place of work and confirm that they are in an advanced enough stage of labour to be allowed to go to the hospital/home to deliver their baby.

Or should the employer make a side-office avaiolable for the woman to deliver in so she can get straight back to her desk afterwards?

Good employees will always be welcomed back to the workplace. Ask anyone who's tried to hire someone to replace an experienced and talented employee. No one remembers whether you were out for 7 months or a year in reality and when you're 50 looking back on your life choices, will it matter then? No way.

The medieval maternity policies are a major reason I wouldn't even consider moving back to the US, where I'm from originally. Flexible working practices keep me in employment, Mozhe. Without that it's likely I would be opting out of the work force for some time, as there is NO WAY I would put a 2 or 3 month old in a nursery or with a nanny.

And I've just seen the comment about working til you're about to go into labour. Actually, it can be okay for the employee if you're feeling fine. NOt at all fair for colleagues, though, in many cases who have to pick up the pieces when you insist on staying and not handing over your work until five mintues before the baby is due - when there's maybe then no time to do it probably. This is one way to be REALLY popular at work, I'm sure.

"This is one way to be REALLY popular at work, I'm sure."

oh yes I'm sure the ONE member of staff that would have been on with me would have been absolutely thrilled if her work load was increased by having to clean up my waters after they'd gushed like they did with DS1 (spontaneously with no contractions so therefore no warning) as if they wouldn't have had enough work to do!

I'm sure my colleagues/clients would have loved that too. Maybe in the middle of a presentation - would add a bit of drama.

i agree that £112 per week for men on parental leave is not a lot for most people, but it is the same amount that women are entitled to at that stage so it is fair and equal in that respect.

"I have never taken a single day off before the birth,"

Very happy that you had uncomplicated pregnancies unlike some of us lesser mortals who ended up on morphine when 25 weeks pregnant because of a burst fibroid!

Despite that, I still managed to work until 32 weeks. Was so glad to have 2 weeks rest before having a emergency C section because of concerns for DT2 and then to have several months off to recover and spend all my time with my new boys.

FWIW, I don't think maternity leave is sexist. There is no way I could have gone back to work two days after having my twins because

1. I had a C section
2. I had feelings for my DTS and as a first time mother, I actually wanted to spend the time with them

Also, I did not find breast feeding easy because I could not produce enough milk. However, I still managed to breast feed for 10 months in conjunction with bottle feeding.

I would like to see fathers have more paid paternity leave. I would not have allowed my DH to usurp my role as the primary carer for my newborn DTS but having him around constantly for the first month or so would have been wonderful. I carried my DTS for 34 weeks and I was in no hurry to relinquish their care to somebody else.

When I went back to work part-time when they were 7 months, I was ready to entrust their care to the fabulous nursery nurses at their nursery.

I just love women who assume that all pregnancies/experiences of birth/having a newborn are exactly the same a theirs and as such, everyone should do what they did.

Personally, I don't see the point of having a child just to leave it with someone at the first opportunity, (and yes, I am a WOHM), but that's just me.

I think the whole nine months the sickness the wind the kicking the size you become the sore breasts is sexist! i am sahm whilst my dp works his bottom off we both had leave with dd as whilst he started paternity leave he was sacked so until i stopped bf (6weeks) i had dp with me an to be honest he just got under my feet made it hard to get into routine i got soo upset by this i offered to go get job (i get higher pay) he then got new job an this made things loads easier. i have looked into going back to work but then we would loose wtc so it is not worth it for what it would cost us in childcare. i think bettering childcare would deffinatly make things easier

I don't believe maternity leave is at all sexist, unless of course someone works out a way for men to be pregnant, give birth and breastfeed. After nine months of carrying a baby everywhere with all the lovely things that go with that, for me it was mostly nausea and heartburn but hey some women get the pleasure of sciatica or SPD. Then when the big day comes forcing something the size of a melon out of your private parts followed by the joy of the early days of breastfeeding [sarcastic emoticon], cue bleeding nipples and mastitis (I realise not everyone has this experience but this was my experience both times).

Hey call me weak but I think women deserve a good six months or more off work after this to recover physically and emotionally, sort the breastfeeding out and get to know their new baby. Stuff the office!

Although maybe I'm not qualified to speak on this thread as I didn't actually go back to work and only now a number of years on work from home.

Some jobs just cannot be done right up until the moment labour commences.

I would love to be back at work, clambering over piperacks and climbing up distillation columns, but since I am the size of a small country, I just don't think it is practical, plus I would never pass the Risk Assessment as I am sure I pose a fire hazard.