Formal Complaint of Racism- Help!

[OhBollocksFuck]

I've NC as this is quite outing.

I work in the back office (10 people, all women, desk work) doing logistics for delivery drivers (27 people, mostly men, out and about all day).

We've had a bloke called Steve (not his real name) working as a delivery driver for years. Steve is black. Then another Steve came. So the original Steve became known as 'black Steve', which he's completely fine with, and new Steve became 'white Steve' which he's also fine with. We also have 'Short Trev' and 'Tall Trev' for two blokes called Trev. They're descriptions just to differentiate.

A new woman has started in the back office with us and asked me the other day what to do with an order which needed express sending. I told her to give it to 'black Steve' for various reasons. She's seemed quite nice, a little bit up-tight perhaps but that's usual when starting a new place.

Fast-forward to today and my manager has called me in the office to let me know that this new woman has put in a complaint about me using racist language. He's arranged a formal meeting with me and her for next Friday to talk through the complaint and see 'where we go' (his words). I'm in a union so I've got a union representative coming with me but I'm completely flawed by it.

I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remain calm and professional with this woman but I'm angry and upset. I don't want to mention anything to black Steve but, at the same time, it feels odd that there's all this going on with him being at the centre but him not really knowing. I also know that if I did mention it some of the drivers would take issue with her and I don't want them to get themselves into any trouble either.

I don't know what I'm asking really TBH. just some words of wisdom and advice from MNers would be breat!

If you try to argue it's not racist you ate on a hiding to nothing. There isn't a tribunal in the land that would say it's fine to refer to someone as black Steve or gay Andy. 🙄

My manager has asked black Steve to come into the office this afternoon for a quick chat. I can only imagine it's about this situation.

You're an idiot.

Identifying people by race, body shape etc is offensive to most people with an ounce of common sense. It doesn't matte rif either Steve or Trev is okay with it.

There's so many other ways to tell two people with the same name apart.

OP, you really need to stop calling Steve that

And drop the 'Gay Andy' as well.

Stop referring to your co-workers by their protected characteristics.

I wasn't so sure before but I've reported this post because I can't imagine how after all these posts yoy really still referring to him has "black steve: plus with the added "gay andy" makes me think you are not quite as contrite and worried as you are trying to make out.....

Agree crazyduchess

The workplace as a whole sounds pretty regressive. Surely you all know that this isn't very professional.

I think you might be right CrazyDuchess

Agree completely with Maud and Duchess, its time to change your language now!

^Absolutely. But if she's an idiot then so is everyone else in that office and they all need to go on sensitivity training < though I suspect it might end up like an episode of Rescue Me.

I loved rescue me!

I've now got a bingo card and am awaiting Ginger Greg with anticipation.

Apologies for putting that name again. I posted about Andy just to show that lots of the drivers have nicknames, some are based on physical characteristics, some aren't. I totally get that nicknames based on physical characteristics is unprofessional. I do get that. My issue is me being singled out for doing it when everyone does it. I know everyone doing it doesn't make it right.

I'm less worried than I was when I first posted. I posted in panic but the advice here has calmed me down.

You're less worried, but still calling him the name that others see as rascist? I really don't think you get it.

She didn't use it in her latest post, lay off her a bit

Gazelda I apologised.

Stop with the using nicknames for staff like Gay or Black and just use another way round it.

Apologise profusely. Maybe the reason you were reported was because the new starter heard 'you' saying Black Steve more and maybe in a way she felt sounded derogatory (not saying you were).

I work with a lot of black and Asian people (law firm with an office in Caribbean) and I would be under a gross dismissal claim if I used language like yours and wouldn't be surprised if I was hauled up over a racism card. Hasn't stopped one of the Asian men (Pakistani) from making jokes about me 'reading the Daily Mail' (I don't) and assuming that some people are racist and think they're ISIS bombers etc (don't think that never said anything that way at all!). i just think I was an easy target as one of the few white women there.

I really cannot believe you think it is acceptable to differentiate between people like you are doing in this day and age.

Kimmy but only a ginger can call another ginger, ginger.

In some cases calling people nicknames based on their physical characteristics is a little more than just unprofessional..... illegal some might say..

PS - from now on - don't call the delivery drivers nicknames unless they're harmless ones - like Gaz (short for Gary) for 2 of the men in our office.

You'll be saying it's ok to call overweight Carl - Fatty Carl next won't you??

I really cannot believe you think it is acceptable to differentiate between people like you are doing in this day and age.

Op has already said she realises it's unacceptable.

Mozfan I hadn't read that post saying she realised it was unacceptable.

Up until now she thinks it was 'ok' though so she's either ignorant or very dim.

I can't believe anyone in this day and age is okay with using the terms "black Steve" and "gay Andy" to describe actual people much less their colleagues.

Good on your "uptight" colleague for going against the racist grain and hopefully from now on your backwards office catches up with the times and you all stop being so fucking racist!

This is an interesting idea.

I am "blonde Anchor" to most, in my office, because I have a common name. I have also been "short Anchor", or "female Anchor", none of which bother me at all. I've never been "white Anchor", but I have been "the pale female one". I've never really considered it, but I suppose some people could find descriptive names upsetting.

Anyway, I'd make the point that Steve created the nicknames and wanted to be referred to like that, but on reflection you can see that it was inadvisable and you are sorry if it's come across as racist, but that was not your intention. I'd also mention that the wider team use the term, so you are sure that Steve knows that it was not meant in a derogatory manner, and that a lot of the team members have nicknames which were deemed friendly but that, on reflection, may be poorly thought through and you won't be using them anymore.

On it's own, the fact that everyone is doing it isn't much of a defence, but it's worth making sure everyone is aware that it wasn't a name you created or that just you used.

I would make sure that you do agree that the name was incorrect, though, and that you understand why - some of your answers here have undermined that a little and you don't want that to be a possibility in your meeting, so that you don't risk looking like you're saying what they want to hear.

super where did op say 'it's ok to call him black Steve'?