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Original poster

Formal Complaint of Racism- Help!

646 replies

OhBollocksFuck · 26/10/2016 11:14

I've NC as this is quite outing.

I work in the back office (10 people, all women, desk work) doing logistics for delivery drivers (27 people, mostly men, out and about all day).

We've had a bloke called Steve (not his real name) working as a delivery driver for years. Steve is black. Then another Steve came. So the original Steve became known as 'black Steve', which he's completely fine with, and new Steve became 'white Steve' which he's also fine with. We also have 'Short Trev' and 'Tall Trev' for two blokes called Trev. They're descriptions just to differentiate.

A new woman has started in the back office with us and asked me the other day what to do with an order which needed express sending. I told her to give it to 'black Steve' for various reasons. She's seemed quite nice, a little bit up-tight perhaps but that's usual when starting a new place.

Fast-forward to today and my manager has called me in the office to let me know that this new woman has put in a complaint about me using racist language. He's arranged a formal meeting with me and her for next Friday to talk through the complaint and see 'where we go' (his words). I'm in a union so I've got a union representative coming with me but I'm completely flawed by it.

I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remain calm and professional with this woman but I'm angry and upset. I don't want to mention anything to black Steve but, at the same time, it feels odd that there's all this going on with him being at the centre but him not really knowing. I also know that if I did mention it some of the drivers would take issue with her and I don't want them to get themselves into any trouble either.

I don't know what I'm asking really TBH. just some words of wisdom and advice from MNers would be breat!

OP posts:
BubbleGumBubble · 27/10/2016 10:57

I am sorry that you and Steve are being treated this way.
Steve is now being treated unfairly and unequally. He has expressed his choice to be called black Steve and that this term, which is directed at him, is not is not used in an offensive or racist manner. He is now being singled out and made to feel different to white Steve who has not been spoken and will not be receiving and apology letter. That is not equality.

Southallgirl · 27/10/2016 10:59

Bubble They have made a balls-up, havent they? I would not be surprised if Steve and OP left in the next few months, because it has certainly left a bad taste in my mouth.

Southallgirl · 27/10/2016 11:03

Lack of even-handedness (not speaking with white Steve) stands out for me, and also bringing attention to black Steve's ethnicity. It may sound counterintuitive to some on here, but by speaking to only one Steve that is what the firm has done.

Also, why give the task to OP to jot instances down. The oher 9 women will now not be using those terms, there will be nothing to note down and fingers will be pointed at OP - as if she's the only one who used the terms in the past.

OldBootNewBoots · 27/10/2016 11:10

sounds like sensible advice from your union op, and i'm glad that Steve isn't actually offended, this all sounds like it's getting resolved.

BubbleGumBubble · 27/10/2016 11:13

Exactly Southall

They have allowed black Steves skin colour to decide he is to be treated differently. They have gone againt his choice.
That is wrong.

I dont think it is wrong for the company to implement a new policy surrounding nicknames but to single out Steve and the OP in this way is showing their complete lack of understanding of this act.

Blu · 27/10/2016 11:18

SouthallGirl: I know it was Fly who posted that generalized misleading info about various areas of London.

OP; I agree, it should be dealt with by a memo from manager saying that from now on all staff will be referred to without personal descriptions. The whole way of making it personal , apologies to Steve etc has made it worse. They should change the professional behaviour as a whole . An apology to one or both Steves would only have been appropriate had he / they made the complaint . IMO.

woodhill · 27/10/2016 11:36

All the new woman has done is cause discord in the workplace. I would never want to speak to her again let alone write her an apology.

She could have made it a general complaint about the names being used in the workplace rather than singling OP out. Sorry, I don't think much to people like that.

FlouncingIntoAutumn · 27/10/2016 11:50

The letter of appology to the complainant doesn't sit very comfortably with me. Maybe its the quickest most effective way to draw a line under things, but really this whole situation could have been handled more appropriately by her approaching her line manager and discussing how she felt the naming conventions in the office were inappropriate.

I still feel that if the naming convention is used company wide that by singling out an individual member of staff this is bullying - by the complainant and if the company continues to pursue this as formal and on record then its scapegoating.

Pandamanda3 · 27/10/2016 11:52

Hi op,
What an awful situation to be in, so you spoke to Steve who said he won't take your letter of apology and he isn't offended by you, then Id say take him in the meeting with you and let him explain from his point of view exactly what his thoughts are on the matter. And explain to the concerned employee just that 'how he feels'.

Maybe the concerned employee will accept that no harm has been meant and then the manager can hold a meeting with the whole office to discuss a procedure for refering to colleges going forward that everybody adhesrs too. And outlines company policy's to be clear.
I don't think it's fair you should be singled out either as clearly this has been the term used by the man himself & the company in general + the manager.
He may not be very happy as he has now become the centre of conversation in the company when he didn't ask to be. I guess if be pretty peed if I had a nickname that I was perfectly happy with was then turned into a formal complaint by a new employee on my behalf without even asking me first how I feel. As the spotlight has now been very much put on him, if he had an issue then fair enough, but to be suddenly the topic of conversation in your firm when you were happy as you was is probably not what he wanted.
I do not agree with any form of rasism at all but there needs to be a wider look at the company as a whole here not just the op.
She seems to have been the one to carry the can.

I would suggest that everybody in the office write down their own name reference / nickname if they want to use one on a piece of paper to be given to the manager then the manager can announce how each member of staff now chooses to be addressed.
So if mrs smith is happy being mrs smith then so be it, if tall terry wants to be just terry 1 then so be it.
She brought it up and rightfully so if she feels it's important to her, but as she has done so she should now at least listen to the views of the people concerned and not single one person out to try and change the views of many.

Shame she didn't just ask Steve herself. Or communicate with the op or staff, as it sounds like they have all been a friendly bunch who's got along well, and I doubt after hearing how Steve actually feels any harm or insult was meant.

So I di hope the poor op doesn't have a mark on her record for it as its the companys procedures & policys that needs updating.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/10/2016 11:58

Blu what misleading information...

So when they have a knife and gun amnesty around the areas I mentioned then they're safe?

people like you make me laugh.

mollie123 · 27/10/2016 12:19

sigh
we ALL possess 'protected characteristics' (look them up) but it is only when our protected characteristic is used to discriminate against us that it becomes illegal under the 2010 law!

DoloresVanCartier · 27/10/2016 12:50

I'm being educated (I think) by all these posts.
Can I just ask though, why hasn't the complainer complained about people or OP saying white steve? Why has the complaint been about black steve? Surely it's exactly the same?

Oblomov16 · 27/10/2016 13:10

Can't agree with union advice on the apology letters.
Let's wait and see what the company, i.e. HR actually do.
I would expect them to drop it completely. It would be wrong for op to have it as some sort of disciplinary note on her file.

This new woman has made herself very unpopular. Let's hope she quits soon.

MagikarpetRide · 27/10/2016 13:18

I spend a lot of time in Tottenham, have done all my life. I've seen more racism directed at non whites than at whites, more violence that way. Its not a safe area admittedly with parts worse than others, but its more of a no go zone generally than just for one race.

BubbleGumBubble · 27/10/2016 13:42

I'm being educated (I think) by all these posts.
Can I just ask though, why hasn't the complainer complained about people or OP saying white steve? Why has the complaint been about black steve? Surely it's exactly the same?

Exactly. This is where there is a clear lack of equality. Black Steve is now being treated unequally to white Steve where before this complaint both Steves were treated equally.

Black Steve may now feel uncomfortable at work where as before he didnt. Black Steve may feel singled out because of his race where before he didnt as his collegue was addressed in a similar way. So 2 men of diffetent race were treated equally but now only one is involved in a racist complaint and only 1 is been shown by the company to be treated differently because of the colour of his skin.

Southallgirl · 27/10/2016 13:52

She could have made it a general complaint about the names being used in the workplace rather than singling OP out. Sorry, I don't think much to people like that

Nor do I, and have said so a few pages back. Newcomer MUST have heard those terms used by others, not just OP.

SenecaFalls · 27/10/2016 13:52

We don't know that she didn't complain about "white Steve." I think it is fair to assume that it was the differentiation based on race that she found objectionable.

Southallgirl · 27/10/2016 14:07

I think some of us agree (on the info OP has kindly shared) that:

  • all 10 women in the office use those descriptors.
  • descriptors must be known to the person who runs the transportation firm.
  • I am suspicious (esp. about a newcomer) who goes straight to Formal Complaint, instead of speaking to her co-workers.
  • This episode has brought unwelcome attention on Steve, which will make him self-conscious, whereas before he was not.
  • It is not up to OP to keep a log of what terms others use; that is being sneaky, and anyway the women must hv got wind of the comings & goings into meetings as well as the other drives, so will not be using those terms.
  • There will be nothing for OP to record, and at the end of a set period it will look like she was the only one in the back office using those words.
There you have it ..... a ready-made scapegoat!
drspouse · 27/10/2016 14:55

With the new information about Black Steve (sorry!) re-emphasising that he is happy with his nickname and that he does NOT want a letter of apology, I am inclined to think that he may be going along the lines of "yes I am Black, I am proud to be black and just like someone who doesn't mind being Tall Trev and in fact who quite likes being Tall Trev, I really want to decide my own nickname and have in that nickname a characteristic of which I am proud".

Nobody is going to force New Mary (sorry again!) to use the nickname nor to accept as her nickname New Mary or indeed Ginger Mary or Curly Mary or Asian Mary. But if she, or the OP, is proud of her curly hair, she could be Curly Mary.

SenecaFalls · 27/10/2016 15:01

I think they have missed the mark by asking OP to apologize and that does put Steve who happens to be black in a difficult spot. It's the linguistic racial segregation that is the issue, which is a company wide practice. That's what should be addressed.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/10/2016 15:21

Really this sort of scenario highlights why it is always handy for there to be some sort of HR person in place.

Even the company where I work (a law firm) doesn't have designated HR people but luckily there is a separate employment law firm in the same building who we go to should we need to do so.

SenecaFalls I agree with you - Black Steve has been put into a difficult spot one not of his making.

I still think this is not good for OP to carry this on into any future job she goes to - if she were to start in another job and use this language as a few other posters have stated - eg in my firm where we have 10 black people and 4 Asian people - then I am certain they would not be happy and would be offended and she would be spoken to at the very least and told to modify her language.

drspouse · 27/10/2016 15:45

I still think this is not good for OP to carry this on into any future job she goes to

Unless she has never worked in any multi-cultural workplace before - which seems unlikely - I doubt she'd do this. It seems that she/other employees only did this when Steve introduced himself.

ShelaghTurner · 27/10/2016 16:01

So as I suspected from the first few posts, Steve, who chose his own nickname and was happy with his colleagues addrsssing him as such, couldn't give a shiny shite and it's other people who are deciding what he should be offended by. Quelle surprise.

Blu · 27/10/2016 16:15

SuperFly; I'm white. I live within walking distance of Stockwell Park Estate. There are problems in and around SPE, but not specifically for white people.

SenecaFalls · 27/10/2016 16:20

I don't think it's a matter of other people deciding what Steve should be offended by. I think it's a matter of someone coming in and challenging a workplace culture that divides people by race.