Formal Complaint of Racism- Help!

[OhBollocksFuck]

I've NC as this is quite outing.

I work in the back office (10 people, all women, desk work) doing logistics for delivery drivers (27 people, mostly men, out and about all day).

We've had a bloke called Steve (not his real name) working as a delivery driver for years. Steve is black. Then another Steve came. So the original Steve became known as 'black Steve', which he's completely fine with, and new Steve became 'white Steve' which he's also fine with. We also have 'Short Trev' and 'Tall Trev' for two blokes called Trev. They're descriptions just to differentiate.

A new woman has started in the back office with us and asked me the other day what to do with an order which needed express sending. I told her to give it to 'black Steve' for various reasons. She's seemed quite nice, a little bit up-tight perhaps but that's usual when starting a new place.

Fast-forward to today and my manager has called me in the office to let me know that this new woman has put in a complaint about me using racist language. He's arranged a formal meeting with me and her for next Friday to talk through the complaint and see 'where we go' (his words). I'm in a union so I've got a union representative coming with me but I'm completely flawed by it.

I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remain calm and professional with this woman but I'm angry and upset. I don't want to mention anything to black Steve but, at the same time, it feels odd that there's all this going on with him being at the centre but him not really knowing. I also know that if I did mention it some of the drivers would take issue with her and I don't want them to get themselves into any trouble either.

I don't know what I'm asking really TBH. just some words of wisdom and advice from MNers would be breat!

But were "Russian twat" etc the names that the colleagues were always called, or was it more "Make sure you give this to the Russian twat before you leave"? The problem in the OP's case, as I see it, is that the office permanently labelled the two Steves as "Black Steve" and "White Steve", which is at best unnecessary and at worst bigoted.

Bubble - how about Steve S and Steve L? Or if their surnames start with the same letter, Steve Smith and Steve Sanderson? This is why we have surnames, after all...

woman has put in a complaint about me using racist language.

I reiterate calling somebody black is not racist. The OP has not been racist she has used a word to desctibe the easiest difference betweem 2 people of the same name unknown to the new worker.

Had the OP said "take this to white Steve" i doubt she would have made the complaint. So the word she is complaing about is the word black. This is not a racist word.

OlennasWimple

Black Steve came up with his own moniker. It was not thrust upon him. He chose when introducing himself to say I am black Steve. Nobody else gave him that title.
If over the years he feels uncomfortable by its use then he can of course vomplain/ask for it to stop. He has not.
For this women to complain about something that is not offensive and is not directed at her, unless she too is called black Steve, is more offensive than using the word black. Steve has the right to decide what he is called.

I'm so confused. Thanks to MN, I recently tried to direct a new member of my team to an individual on another floor, to collect something from him. This person is black, and the only black person on that entire floor. Yet I was so afraid of saying, "Peter is the tall black guy who sits over by the coffee machine", that there ensued a famously awkward conversation where I attempted to describe Peter without specifying his skin colour (famous because the rest of my team knew exactly who I meant and found my discomfort hilarious).

My team member returned most bemused and said, "Why didn't you just say he was black, I've been wandering around for ages?"

It's a nightmare.

Yep. See my earlier post of trying to describe a dangerous missing person to the police

For this women to complain about something that is not offensive and is not directed at her, unless she too is called black Steve, is more offensive than using the word black. Steve has the right to decide what he is called.

I disagree. If Steve decided to call himself Nigger Steve, that would be unacceptable. And the onus should never always be on the person on the "receiving end" to complain - of course the new colleague is entitled to complain about what she perceives as racist language. If I had been her, I would have done too (though complaining about the team as a whole, it seems odd that the OP appears to have been singled out). As a white, able-bodied straight woman am I only allowed to complain about things that directly impact me? Really?

Maybe Steve doesn't dare rock the boat, and fears that if he complains he will be branded a spoil-sport, not a team player, and treated badly as a result. What if the company hires another black employee, who dislikes the labelling but daren't speak out because as a newbie she doesn't feel confident of doing so - does Steve get to determine that this labelling is acceptable?

"It's a nightmare. confused"

It honestly isn't.

Billy - it really isn't a nightmare. It's fine to say "Peter? He's the tall black guy on the third floor by the coffee machine".

What's not OK is to say "Is the coffee machine working again?" "Yeah, Black Peter said the repair man came this morning and sorted it out"

I hope Steve puts in a complaint against this woman for being offended on his behalf and thereby implying that being known as black is somehow demeaning!

Honestly Elinor?

Well that's what I thought, that to use "black" as a descriptor alone was fine provided not derogatory or harmful, but I was worried someone else might be choose to be offended (that I used a protective characteristic to identify him rather than his height, say) so decided not to risk it...

I'm a bit baffled by what is appropriate and what is not, but I am following this and trying to educate myself. We recently had a very unpleasant episode where a colleague was the subject of a complaint for saying something racist. I wasn't there and I didn't ask, but I always assumed that the comment was taken out of context. I only found out last week what was actually said, and it was shocking

how about Steve S and Steve L

Well, of course. This is what we do in my workplace. Which is in the deep South of the US. Identifying someone by a moniker that includes their race would be highly problematical.

If Steve decided to call himself Nigger Steve, that would be unacceptable.

He can say he wants to be called it but nobody has to call him it.

Plus the word nigger still holds racist connatations. Thr word black does not.

Maybe Steve doesn't dare rock the boat, and fears that if he complains he will be branded a spoil-sport, not a team player, and treated badly as a result. What if the company hires another black employee, who dislikes the labelling but daren't speak out because as a newbie she doesn't feel confident of doing so - does Steve get to determine that this labelling is acceptable?

Steve is the one who decides what he is called. He chose the discriptor black Steve. He has not made a complaint in 6 years.
If he has not done so because he is scared then that is a wotk problem as all staff should feel able to speak to management with no backlash or fear. That is not a racism problem that is a work problem.

If a new employee started and he was called black bob without his say so and consent then of course that is wrong and racist but bob cannot decide that Steve who is fine with being called black Steve is wrong to allow it.
Being black does not mean you have a hive mind.

The issue to me is that using race as part of the name emphasizes racial difference and division, which is not something that I would want to see in my workplace.

Going back to bubble's point about the law requiring common sense, a few years back when pregnant with DC1 I had to attend a mandatory course on the new equality legislation that had just come in (so in 2010). There was a point I did something that usually I wouldn't have done and loudly exclaimed 'duh, baby brain'. At which point the trainer stopped and basically went through the common sense scenario:

• I know I'm not on it, but I'm attributing it to something that is intrinsically linked to my gender.
• If I did something stupid my close colleagues could probably get away with saying 'baby brain again Magi'
• If a random person came along and accused me of doing something stupid because I had baby brain then I'd probably be offended which works on two points because a) they don't know my usual standard and b) they've made an assumption based on my being pregnant

The problem in that scenario would have been the assumption I hadn't lived up to standard because I was pregnant, which they wouldn't have been able to do with another colleague.

However I do now remember that the advice we were given was to avoid saying things like 'baby brain' as it played into the hands of people who would use it against you, but also in years to come its likely you yourself could get pulled up for upsetting someone even when talking about youself. Seems he had a crystal ball!

olenna Your point that If Steve decided to call himself Nigger Steve doesn't fit because black is a descriptive term but nigger is a solely derisory term.

As a white, able-bodied straight woman am I only allowed to complain about things that directly impact me? Really?

Of course you are but it doing so you must accept that your complaint may not be upheld.
In this instance both Steves are identified by their skin colour. Why was only black Steve picked out as offensive?
What is so wrong with saying black Steve but not white Steve?

I was being deliberately obtuse with the "Nigger Steve" example, but if pp are going to say things like Steve gets to decide what he is called, then extreme examples are needed.

How about "Negro Steve"? Still neutral in many places, but generally considered at best old-fashioned and at worst offensive in the UK

Of course my complaint might not be upheld, Bubble - always the risk (rightly or wrongly) of making any complaint.

But earlier you said that the new worker, by making the complaint, was being more offensive than using the word black. I disagree.

The issue to me is that using race as part of the name emphasizes racial difference and division, which is not something that I would want to see in my workplace.

Yes it emphasizes racial difference!!
One is black one is white. Thats ok to say.
It does not divide us as long as nobody is treated differently.

Equality is not about all people being treated the same. We are not the same.
It is about all people being treated equally.

But earlier you said that the new worker, by making the complaint, was being more offensive than using the word black. I disagree.
Well considering she has only complained about the use of black Steve and not white Steve then yeah thats pretty offensive. Us black is not an offensivd word.

However you disagree so thats fine by me.

It does not divide us as long as nobody is treated differently.

There is a difference in treatment with the language alone, when you are using protected characteristics to name some people and others are called by their names.

but if pp are going to say things like Steve gets to decide what he is called, then extreme examples are needed.

Eh
You are saying an adult man deciding on his nickname is extreme?
How?

Why cant Steve decide to be called black Steve?

Also negro again is not a descriptive word. It was a word used to describe slaves.

There is a difference in treatment with the language alone, when you are using protected characteristics to name some people and others are called by their names.

Black is not a pc. Nor is white. The pc is race.
Both Steves are called by their skin colour. Therefore both are being treated equally.

But negro is a descriptive word in some languages / cultures, simply meaning black (it carries baggage in the UK and US, of course)

I'm not sure what the difference is between treating people equally and treating people the same