working mums what do you do when they're poorly?

[rebelmum1]

I'm finding it really difficult, I have had to take lots of unscheduled time off work as holiday. I end up sending dd back to nursery when not 100% I have really dropped my colleagues in it on occasions this year but there are so many contagious things they get and you just can't take them in to nursery when they are sick. My role as a parent is far more important than that of employee and I just want to be there for my child. It stinks. How do others cope?

I haven't had to take that much time off really but when she's poorly then me and DP share it between us. Like you say kids come first. It is hard being a working parent at times like this though.
How much time have you taken off exactly then?
Mine go in if they have coughs or colds.

I had a fall out with the childminder and had to take over a week then too so I think that colours it. I have just had to take 2 weeks, but we are in the middle of a house move so she really didn't get a great deal of rest. Perhaps its more to do with my circumstances too. My partner earns far more than me so it tends to be that takes the time off.

This is as much a problem for fathers as mothers by the way. I hate it when it's assumed it's a mother's issue. How do people marry men like that? Weird choice of men.

The timing has never been great either.

I think it's more to do with the wage and nature of the job rather than lack of parental responsibility and poor choice of partner. Me taking time off has much less of an impact on our earning potential.

Rebelmum1 you handled that politely, I am sure you picked your DP very carefully.

Have you explored any other options for childcare ? From those whose children have gone into nursery I have heard a lot stories about them getting colds and so forth when they start then the nurseries where they caught the bugs refusing to take them.

Childminders are a bit more flexible on taking children when they are not well also because there are less children there then they are less prone to catching things. No help at all when they go to school though !

I have actually had a disciplinary at work for taking to much time off. Last year ds and I had a nasty bout of tonsilitus/conjunctvitus and chest infections . we were both bed bound for two weeks and I was signed off by my GP. I was then ill on 3 more occasions (sickness and diarohea doesnt make for a good customer consultant!!) I then had a personal problem and ds was sick again and I couldnt leave him with my mum (who is normal childminder for us) as she was ill too. I recieved a disciplinary and told them that if I had to be off i have to be off. My health and my sons come first I'm afraid.

Thanks rookiemum
I have just switched from a childminder to a nursery as we have just moved. I wanted somewhere for her to be settled for a while. It's idylic in a country farmhouse in a rural hamlet opposite an abbey. They have the keys to the abbey and play in the grounds. It's a montessori and very small with coal fires and its also the owners home too. The staff are lovely, there's plenty of cuddles. I think the changes have upset her understandably, a new house and a new nursery and many more children than she's used to. The days feel longer though as its very stimulating and she's there for such a long time so she gets tired but wont sleep.

Oh noogles you have had a similarly bad year, I've had 12 days sick and am lucky my boss is a goodun' I have just had a conversation where I said there is absolutely nothing i could do as I'm a parent first and foremost. It's just so difficult when things don't go smoothly and you just can't be at work.

Am at home again today after taking another day off work because my baby is sick, so this thread really hit home. Up until my daughter went to nursery at 7 months she was healthy, now its a whole new story. She had gastroenteritus and ended up in hospital for 2 nights, shes had numerous bad colds, shes had conjunctivitus, chest infections and now today another really bad cold. My husbands taken about 7 days off work, I've taken 5 days and my mums had her the rest of the time. It is a nightmare trying to hold down a job (even though I only work 3 and a half days a week) as she ALWAYS seem to be ill. Its ironic that she picks up everything at nursery and then they refuse to take her while all the time I'm paying nursery fees! Feeling very down about it today, do not know how much more I can take. Feel so guilty about my colleagues having to cover my work and now understand why employees do not want to take on working mothers. Doesnt help that everytime she picks something up I seem to get it to!

I know what you mean.

Ds has only been sent home from the childminder sick once. And I was given half an hour to pick him up and take him to my Mum and Dads'house before returning to school (I teach) and atm my sister who has ds 3 days a week, has just had an operation can't have him, so he's with my Mum and Dad again.

While I'm home poorly.

It's been pointed out to me that if you have children, it should not interfere with their job in any way at school

Its awful isnt it? It doesnt help that I work in london and its a 1 hour train ride home. So when the nursery rings it takes me at least a couple of hours to pick her up and thats when they dont cancel my train!

Am going to try and persuade nursery to take her on friday when I dont normally work so I can try and go in this friday to make up some time. Upsets me so much that pre baby I had a very good reputation, was considered professional etc but now because I always seem to be taking time off peoples opinion of me has changed! Thing is I dont blame them, it would annoy me to if I was a childless person and I was always having to cover for my colleague. People dont seem to understand how often babies get ill and often say to me 'what, shes ill AGAIN?'

So if it's due to women earning less why do you earn less? Is it because they choose to marry men for their money or aren't as good at jobs or girls are less clever?

Thank God I'm not alone

'So if it's due to women earning less why do you earn less? Is it because they choose to marry men for their money or aren't as good at jobs or girls are less clever'?

You seem to have an axe to grind about something only I can't figure out what. I took a year off work and now choose to work part-time which is why I earn less. I did this because I wish to spend time with my dd. I have other interests outside work, my work does not define me. I am lucky I have a job that is flexible and accomodating. Is it your sole purpose to earn money? How dare you infer that I have a)I have married for money and b)am not clever because I choosen not to be slave to a job and put my child first.

1. Panic
2. Consider dosing with Calpol and sending to Nursery anyway
3. Call in every favour under the sun

It's a nightmare!!

I'm not married either so there

Always have a backup. I know thats really hard to do. My sister only told me last tuesday she was having her op on friday and I didn't have time to organise anything else, certainly no time to apply for parental leave from school, so it had to be my elderly Mum and Dad.

My parents live in France and dp's parents live at the other end of the country so it makes it doubly hard. I keep cursing them for moving. I just moved house too and dd went to stay with my dp's ex so we could move!

I'm on a babysitter and dog walker hunt atm in my new village

What annoys me is that I didn't have a single day off sick for myself last year, but I had to take sick days for DS (probably about 5) as unpaid leave or holiday and was made to feel as though I was being done a favour by colleagues who had taken sick leave for themselves on full pay .

The worst thing is when you have those days when you are arguing with partner about who should stay at home - who has the most important meeting/deadline, who would loose more by making a bad impression - and then you feel bad about arguing because you should just be focusing on your sick child.

Atleast when DS had chickenpox last month I was on maternity leave.

I had to bring dd into work and drop off a document, she looked dreadful and helped my case but it was so awful having to drag her in. I'm not counting times I have had to leave early and times when I arrive late too...

It makes me want to stay at home full time.

Rebelmum is your dd quite young still? i have found mine are ill less often as they have got older.

We take it in turns - no other option as we have no family back up here. I do take advantage of the unpaid leave option sometimes and make sure colleagues know I haven't been paid when I haven't been in.

Arranging to work from home is also good - I do it two days a week as part of my contract so if the kids are ill on one of those days it isn't a problem.

I never send mine in to school when they are ill - I don't think it's fair on them or the other kids in the class (and their working parents). I do send in with colds though if it IS just a cold.

Yes she's just 2, it's the time they build up their immunity so I guess it's to be expected its just not factored in when you return to work. I have been very reluctant to take her in when unwell which is why I have had so much time off, we had a period without a childminder, moved house and I have been ill myself too which paints a worse picture.