I do all the food shopping on the internet. I virtually never go in shops. I hate shopping.
I was asked" Xenia I'm curious to know how you managed to afford fulltime childcare and a house at the very start of your career.
You say you had your first child at 22 and went to work full-time when your baby was 2 weeks old. I can't imagine many 22 year olds, straight out of University, being able to afford to have a baby and then go back to work full-time. Not now anyway. Getting on the property ladder and paying off student debts would be most 22 year olds' (who wanted to settle down at that young age) financial priorities."
I didn't have student debts. In those days you got grants, jobs or your parents paid. Nowadays you avoid student debts if your mother is a well paid working mother but you have huge student debts if she became a SAHM so cannot fund your univesrity years...(okay that one's a bit tongue in cheek but do consider it...)
I went to university when I was 17 so I graduated young. I picked well paid work. I was... am I allowed to say it... very good at it.... Also I was married. We earned about the same so paid half the childcare each. The cost of the daily nanny did not eat up all our salaries but certainly half of each but I was working in something where my income would grow and 20 years + on even if those few years were hard financially the pay off was something the family benefitted from over the following 10 years and I doubt my 22 year old remembers her baby gros from Oxfam now.
We lived very simply. All the baby things were second hand. We did have a mortgage. The house cost about 3 times our joint salaries. So most of our income went on mortgage and nanny. We ate a lot of potatoes and rice. I also did things like mark exam papers nad my husband did lots of extra private teaching. If you really want a family when you're young it is possible but you need to pick a career which will sustain that.
Yes, some people meet partners later. Someone I had lunch with yesterday who regretted marrying at 21, he was advocating people waiting but I didn't agree. If I hadn't married then I might never have, might never have had the 5 gorgeous children etc. You do what you think is right at the time with the same person. And there's quite a lot to be said for not getting used to years of freedom and money. If you go from studying to working/babies you don't have a huge adjustment period. If you never had much money you don't miss it. I was never into showing off babies in smart clothes or brands and labels.
I certainly agree that all parents do some of those parts of childcare. I haven't farmed mine out for 22 years. Every single day I'm doing loads of that stuff - the working/stay at home thing is not a no chores v lots of chores thing. There's lots of childcare involved in being a working mother.
In 10 years when my twins go to university I will be in year 32 of motherhood and presumably I'll have grandchildren. So I certainly haven't chosen the child free course. In fact I probably have spent hour for hour more time than most stay at home mothers with 2 children.