This thread has been a great read, it's a topic very close to my heart. I'm surprised there hasn't been much mention of the new shared maternity leave legislation, as personally I find it very exciting that role-models which can be/have been set during that initial maternity leave period (i.e. mother as main childcarer/domestic) will hopefully slowly be changed when more fathers take some proper parental leave.
Personally, whilst I earn (just) over 100k, working approx 4.5 days a week, I certainly do not classify myself as a "power-mum" or a high flier. I earned significantly more (some years up to twice my current income) before I had my child. Looking back, it's clear to me now that I have been "mummy-tracked", though (possible warning to new mothers here) at the time it was not obvious to me, it happened almost by stealth and there was never open reference to it happening. However, I personally place a lot of value (not monetary, but unmistakenly a real value nonetheless) on other aspects of my employment such as flexibility. I have worked on a part-time basis over the past 4 years or so (3 day week, then 4 day week, now 4.5 day week, with 1 or 2 days working from home). I now realise that this pattern of working is sadly still not seen as compatible with promotion track/high flying, and whilst it does sometimes grate me to see other men/women soar up the career ladder with no more innate ability than I have, clearly what they do offer is the willingness to work consistently long hours by prioritising work above all else. I don't want to do this, my child is now old enough to tell me to my face that she prefers it when I pick her up from school instead of our (lovely) nanny, and she prefers it when I can drop her to school instead of her going to breakfast club. So I have a pretty good situation where I can do those things a few times in the week, whilst still earning a very decent wage and doing interesting work. Yes I could earn far more but for what? There is very little time to spend money when you're working 100 hours a week.Before I know it my child won't even want to hold my hand, and that might be a good time to ramp up again. or maybe not, as 4.5 days a week in my industry is still at least 45 hours a week, and frankly, I'm exhausted enough as it is!
If I had a wish it would be that working fathers took more flexibility, that would even out the score far quicker than trying to change things further for women. Imagine if your male colleagues/clients/bosses worked 4 day weeks, or took 6 months shared mat leave, wouldn't that be refreshing? My DH would love to do all of the above (actually he'd love to be a house husband, and I would love him to do that do as he is far better round the house than me, but we can't afford it), but in his industry it is still relatively unheard of for working fathers to do any of those. He equates asking for a 4 day week as the same as handing in his notice. Lots has been done to improve work/life balance for women, but sadly very little has changed for men and I think that until it does, it will be rare to find a dual-income career couple who as a family, can honestly say they "have it all" or whatever comes close to that.