Your tips please to a happy household when working ft...

[YouSmegHead]

So recently went back to work ft and haven't found my stride yet. What top tips do you have for keeping me sane

Sweeping the hall and kitchen floor, even better if you can produce a dustbuster to hoover up all the detritus

Work ft hours in a nine day fortnight arrangement which means that life is very compressed and I contractually have to pick work up at home. DH also does nine day fortnight ( on alternate weeks). Both of us in senior(me)/ quite senior roles(DH)
Great advice here but apart from all the obvious ;
Kick DP/ DH in to touch if you have one. I can't say it's totally equal as presents/ parties/ Christmas falls to me but it's as good as I can get it. He is totally able to care for our child. Makes a massive difference.
Be really nice to people which is hard when you are knackered! Our cleaner gets paid holiday/ Xmas gifts etc and she has stuck with us for years and always is very reliable/ goes the extra mile doing little jobs etc. I met my hairdresser in a salon years back and after I hurt my back he started to come to my house. It was cheaper but when he hit hard times after being made redundant I gave him a bit extra. He wasn't expecting it but I do appreciate what he did for me way back.
Finally, gulp, I started to get a mid week veg,food and grocery box delivered. Was always having to dash to get milk, bread, fruit etc we had run out of. This has worked out cheaper and no one has found the hiding place yet!!!!!

Loads of great tips ladies!

Aren't we forgetting something though??

ME-TIME!!

Where do you feature? Amongst the washing piles, calendar organisation, cooking, taxi service for the kids, never ending to-do lists and work demands there has to be some room for you!

The kids deserve a happy mum who's a great role model, working hard to provide for her family, is still there for them when they need her, enjoys fun quality time with them and is someone they can look up to, doing something she believes in and loves.

Hubby wants a woman he admires, who still makes him smile, who still shares in the things you always loved to do together.

You, above all, deserve an easier, happier, more fulfilling life.

Have a think about what's important TO YOU

...and yes, I am one of those working mum coaches, but I do it because I was lost in a pile of washing once, I know what it's like and I enjoy seeing the women I work with change it and build lives that make them happy.

Friday night is my night off. In fact it's both our night off - DH goes out for 4ish hours to his hobby, I sit in with my home/crafty hobby and watch Doctor Who all the erudite telly he doesn't enjoy.

The key was making it my nightoff too - he's out but I don't do any chores while he's out, I eat my favourite dinner and act like I'm in a hotel.
It's great!

(Sat night we sometimes get a babysitter, do stuff together, etc, but Friday nights apart and having fun have proved great 'recharge' points for the coming weekend (we have stuff to say to each other!) and the week ahead.

Project has a ogod point although sometimes when children are little there is not much time of anything else. I said sleep comes number 1 as soon as you have free time if you are sleep deprived.

I certanily think if a husband is out for 5 hours of golf on Saturday then you should be out for 5 hours of something you like on Sunday and whilst you are each out the other does as much as the other eg if you clean and mind chidlren whilst out he must do the same whilst you are out.

Ditch the guilt is always good advice - I didn't seem to have the guilt other women have (someone did once pay me to life coach them), don't feel you have to be perfect all the time, realise that if you get the balance which works for you and you are happier everyone else will be too within reason. Realise there is no perfect way to be - you might feel happy working 6 or 7 days a week or less. There is no set plan which says if the child is 6 they need x hours of mummy a day and y hours of daddy.

My only tips really are don't have pets, and minimize veg patches and flowerbeds as slabs and lawns are much easier to keep tidy.

My problem is that as soon as a working routine emerges ,something happens - I,or one of DC's get ill,(or some other sort of drama that needs attention).It then takes weeks to get back to what was the starting point - by which time you're knackered,and far more susceptible to another bout of illness......How do you manage with that one?

working mum coach sounds like inventing a need
creating a solution to a non problem, and selling it.now that's clever marketing
I wouldn't use coach.I can professionally and personally manage self and problem solve too

VSS, I think you mean getting behind. We all do when busy and it takes a while to catch up. All I can say is when children are as huge of mine this is all really easy so you just have to sit it out a bit work hard and then you have your 30 years of relative ease.

Some people like to talk to someone. Anyone in the UK can set themselves up as a life coach and a heap of other jobs without any qualifications at all and that's fine in a free market and I am sure some people do find it helpful to use a life coach as they do to use concierge services or therapists. What we do need to guard against though is state money being used for public sector workers for these kinds of services in a recession.

illness or catastrophe, dust self down get on with it is my advice
it shouldn't take weeks to recover from nonsignificant illness,or get back into swing
it's not rocket science,eat well,sleep,plan schedule,share tasks with dp.don't be a martyr

I do what I can to avoid getting ill. This includes making sure I get enough sleep, eating properly, daily exercising (treadmill at home that DH and I use for 30mins a day) and going for an annual check up with the doctor. I also take vitamins (at the moment prenatals) which help keep me in good shape. DD also gets daily vitamins, has all of her vaccines including chicken pox and she eats a good enough diet.

When one of us is off we go into 'illness mode' which means the other picks up some of the slack and the ill person goes to bed after a hot bath with epsom salts in it. This reduces the length of the illness.

All very true.

Quite probably,as scottishmummy says,its a case of just picking up where you left off and gathering in all the loose threads as you go.I suppose trying to get it all back on track immediately is a lot to expect especially since most of us go back to work before we're 100% better.

I do think illness makes a huge difference. We are hardly ever ill. The boys were saying they hadn't had a day off sick from school in 5 years which is probably true. So why is that? Some will be luck. Some genes. The factors above - like trying to exercise a lot and eat a good diet and avoid junk food. However if you have under 3s they pick up loads of germs and some families will almost be on a constant loop of some illness or another and you cannot just sleep for 2 hours to help recover because the baby does not conveniently disappear because you happen to be ill.

Sometimes the balance of work at home isn't always equal for whatever reason.
I work a little less than full time,but dh does overtime.Between us we work the hours of 2 full time jobs,but I won't expect dh to do 50% at home normally.He certainly does do a fair amount though and if I'm ill he'll attempt 100%,but it's just not really possible.

Never mind,it all catches up again in the end,and tbh I don't lose too much sleep over the house being a bit of a pit for a few weeks - more frustrating than anything else!

worst time for lurgy was nursery got everything
hey ho improves immune system though
and yep ill weans is v demanding.only good thing is weans recover quickly and don't do sick role in way adults do

Most of the shopping is delivered. But we prefer meat from butchers so one of us goes every couple of weeks and stocks up the freezer. Toiletries I pop in and buy on the way own.
Everyone has chores to do - dishwasher, washing, hoovering, windows, dusting etc. The dc's have to tidy their own rooms (youngest is 6 eldest is 19).. The bath is done after used, the sink quick wipe couple of times a week and the loo has cleaner poured in every night and a quick swish in the morning.
Everyone is encouraged to tidy as they go along so things don't pile up. So things put away, dishwasher stacked as stuff used, rubbish in bins etc.
Dc's are also encouraged from early age to put away shoes, coats, school bags as soon as they walk in.
Washing machine gets put on in the morning, then unloaded and dried at night.
Nothing is ever ironed, including uniforms. The school shirts get washed at the weekend and hung on coat hangers to dry.
Dinners are made by the person who will be home first, just look at the menu plan.

As adults we have off time every day. Once the dc's are in bed, everything is done so we can chill.
I'm usually the one that gets floored with illnesses. The rest of the household carries on as normal, remembering at various points to check on me. When me and dp first got together and moved in, I made it very clear that I was not a substitute for his mum and would not be running around after him unless of course ill lol. We are both adults and both responsible for the running of the house, not just bringing in the money.

Have a blackboard at the bottom of the stairs which is massive and has clubs, menu plan, play dates, appointments, birthdays and anything else of relevance for us.

I do not have a ?me time?. No day off, no time off. I try to get some me-time every night between 10pm when my kids should finally be settled in their bed and 11pm when I go to sleep, but either kids keep bugging me, I want to do too much in so little time or my husband calls me to ask if I could come pick him up from the bus stop (he works late and sometimes he will miss his bus). So there goes my me-time. :(

me time.yes hairdresser, see pals, work dos. all on the planner,all scheduled
I def need some time doing my thing
it's a squeeze but we both negotiate

Me time ? I get an hour riding once a week on my own (but ds is around on the yard with dh doing his pony), but tbh, me time is waaay down the priority list. Spending non work time with dh and ds as a family is the priority right now, and dh and I stick to that. And making our life as a family is what makes us happy - it will be gone all too soon, and dh and I will have lots of couple time and 'me' time.

Me time as a concept was invented by people who make money from it imo.

And I don't feel guilty either, much as some people try and make me feel it. I love my job, I'm doing something worthwhile, as is DH, and ds is happy.

I do have a sensible tip,when it comes to this elusive 'me' time.

Never watch real time tv - record what you really can't miss to watch when/if you have time.
Means you don't waste time watching drivel.

Ditch the guilt. The best advice why didn't I think of that.
Also -
I don't buy crap clothes. I save up and buy decent stuff. I have less but it's nice and makes work and weekend easier

I've never felt guilty.ever.why would I?it's a social construct heaped on women
work ft because I want to.I'm good at job and it is good for kids see mum contribute and work
no one ever asks a man,hey do you feel guilty having a career,being solvent,fulfilled,and happy at work daddy-oh

I've thought of another great thing - we sometimes order a lamb and a side of pork from our local posh butcher, and they do the cuts to my specification, and supply it ready frozen in vaccuum packs, which I put straight into a chest freezer. Cheaper than Tesco and top quality meat as well.

Re: getting ill. I find if I take a day off work right at the beginning of being ill (when I could really go to work) and just sleep as much as possible, I shake stuff off much better and therefore avoid more days off sick! I've got various autoimmune disorders and I think get knocked out with stuff more easily - so a day off to shake it at the very start means I'm up and running much more quickly than trying to keep going then collapsing for a week!

Possibly by all wearing a different shirt every day? People tend to shower or bathe daily, use deodorant and in the winter perspire very little, so unless we're working down the pit I feel we could hang up a shirt on Monday after work and wear it again on Wednesday unless it's 100% cotton, in which case your ironing pile will never end!
The other thing I think is to encourage youngsters to do as much as they can as early as they can and not feel guilty making them stack or empty the dishwasher or feed the dog. One day they may have a place of their own and partner unlikely to want to follow them round picking up grungy socks. (Obviously this is an aim and not necessarily how it turns out in my house...getting there!)