Your tips please to a happy household when working ft...

[YouSmegHead]

So recently went back to work ft and haven't found my stride yet. What top tips do you have for keeping me sane

I must say that although it sounds terrible cynical but I think having a DP makes things a lot harder.

I was single (as in living alone) from dd's birth until she was about 7 and am single again now she is 16 and I have always been a lot happier and calmer when in control of my own house. Which begs the question why have a great big lubbocking bloke around in the first place? They make work.

I iron what I am wearing that day - it takes 5 minutes to iron a top or a dress. I don't see the point of ironing everything in the laundry basket in great 2 hour long strsteches, it would make me despair.

Dispense with breakfast as well. Have never eaten breakfast except on special occasions and it is 7 less meals to think about a week and the associated dishes and mess etc. DD used to eat breakfast at breakfast club, but now is like me and doesn't bother to eat until lunchtime.

re Ironing Mandy 21. I tumble dry stuff so I don't iron. Kids school uniforms barely crumple cos there's that many man made fibres in. Shirts can be dried on hangers and are never seen as they're under their jumpers. Dh's shirts just dry on a hanger. DON'T IRON!!

I just cut all my hair off into a pixie cut and life is much simpler now - wash, comb, done.

I take a day's annual leave once a month but keep DS at his childminder and do tons of house jobs (also stuff like photos in albums etc) as I get loads more holiday than DH.

Gave up at page 4 - but lots of useful stuff by then. I too have a nanny and a cleaner so don't do my own ironing and our nanny makes most of the DC food, but I grew up in a v big family with no outside help so my tips are:

Give everyone their own chores [there is nothing worse as a child than being on the receiving end of an endlessly stressed and grumpy parent - at least if it was as a result of something you were soley responsible for, then fair enough]
Allocate daily and weekend chores - we had to contribute to the big weekend clean up but could choose to do it between 3pm Friday and 6pm Saturday which is enough of a window for most kids to work in around their activities/lie-in's. Pocket money (if any) was delivered following inspection.
All kids/adults should be responsible for ironing their own school shirts if required by 2nd level education. They'll be playing with bunsen burners at school ffs and everyone needs to learn to iron at some stage. It might not be to your standard but at some point their peers will take the p#ss and they'll do it properly.
FGS don't batch cook at the weekend - making two meals a day is enough. Just meal plan and cook huge portions when you have an evening when you are making a big meal casseroles/lasagnes/spag bol etc
Throw more stuff out or at least threaten to. My dad had a 24 hr bin for random crap that we didn't put away. He threw detritus he found into it and emptied it every evening so we learned pretty fast to check it before he got in from work and make sure we weren't about to lose something precious to us.
Recycle toys/games. Put 50% in a box somewhere inaccessible and lock them away for 1 month. Alternate. It's like having new stuff every other month - particularly effective with computer games and stuff with tons of bits like lego/sylvanian families. Plus much less stuff to tidy on a monthly basis.

I have a lovley friend with a child in the same class as mine who texts me to remind me things that are going on at school, because she knows that 1) I am scatty and 2) the kids rarely bring home the letters so am left clueless 90% of the time.

Lay out (and iron if necessary) all clothes, mine, and both dss. Dh is a builder thank god so wears what he dropped in the floor the day before.

Put a wash on every morning, load wet washing into porch, dh puts in tumble drier in garage.

Load dishwasher night before, empty it in morning.

Send ironing out.

Have a cleaner once a week.

Check school bags as soon as they are home for homework which they do immediately, and get reading books out, and deal with letters/school trip admin there and then and put dates on calendar and reminders on whiteboard.

It's carnage but so far so good. I quite enjoy the chaos tbh. Imagine what you would do with all that spare time if the kids weren't around !!

Short cuts and making do with a lick and a promise, as my mum would say.
How to get away with less ironing. Having just stopped FT work after 12 years as a working mum, it really does seem to me it's about doing the minimum but thinking through what the minimum really is.
School Shirts - get 6 non iron, cheap as possible. Keep one well ironed for school photo, assembly readings etc. the rest, hang up neatly on a hanger as they come out of the machine. When they look sort of grey and shabby,dis guard and recycle.
Your smart work shirts - similar in a way, could you manage with a few bright white high Lycra tshirts to wear under your jacket? You get a neat line, no gaping buttons, and if you find one you like, get three-one on, one in the wash, one only worn for those important meetings. These also look respectable if hung up straight from the wash.similarly keep a couple of mega smart ironed shirts for meetings, presentations etc.DH, irons his own, or send out 6 only a week- so you build up a stock of emergency pristine shirts and make him wear tshirts at the week end!
Can also wax lyrical about dirt avoidance-no time to clean, stop things getting that dirty. Shoes off at front door for all family and visiting children, no food anywhere in the house other than the table, without a plate and a baby wipe or kitchen towel.Liberal use of daily shower spray on tiles and bath as well as the shower screen. If you don't like the chemicals, try Method.

We have had cleaners for years and then been without, depending on cash. Personally, I put cleaning help above a couple of bottles of wine in the week,but it all depends

Good luck, it does get easier as you get slicker with your planning but be aware you will probably never get a day's holiday just to hang out with friend or for Christmas shopping for years!

Agree with making sure kids are trained to be organised people ie pick up after themselves, keep floors and surfaces clear, homework done night given, bags uniform night before, make sure notes from school are dealt with, written on central calendar straight after school. For me cooking for the week on one day, cooking double and freezing vital. Cleaner is not (we have an extra city break instead) And what's so hard about ironing? I do six shirts for DH, outfits for me, and about three sets of uniform for DDs in half an hour or so.

Slow cooker.
Drop your standards massively.
Make kids tidy up.
Deep freeze pasta sauces.
Online shopping.

Mandy21 I never iron & I get round this by taking clothes out of the machine as soon as the programme has finished, & then hang everything out to dry straightaway. If the weather is inclement (i.e. piddling down) then I put shirts / blouses on hangers & other stuff (T-shirts, jeans etc) on a clothes horse. I also buy "non-iron" clothes wherever possible as this really does help!

cleaner = lifesaver.
Also local ironing company, email them, arrange pick up, get it back next day.

(I don't get how people do not do any ironing. Doesn't clothes look awful if you don't iron them? I hate ironing btw)

Online grocery/clothes shopping.

Vibrating machine - so you're not struggling to find time to go to the gym - use it and watch telly/boss dd around etc

GPs to do childcare

Family organiser

Lots of brilliant advice on here .... Thanks. DH and I both work F/T. 4DS. No nanny but do have a weekly cleaner.

I buy presents and cards in bulk for kids parties.

Each boy has a list of things they need for each school day in their room to check

They pack their own stuff - including 2yo. They have rules for things like home econ - recipe with me by Sunday or no guarantee of ingredients.

I haven't ironed in 12 years even though we both have senior officey corporatey jobs - a jacket hides much and frocks are a godsend.

Food ... Sandwiches frozen for lunches, school dinners. Breakfast - they do their own - including 2yo. Weekday meals - we have eight healthy quick meals we rustle up on weeknights. Not much variety but needs must.

Kids can't play on their games util they've done homework. They are incentivised to be self sufficient and get on with the boring stuff with their sports, pocket money and the like.

I stay away 2 nights a week so every night i'm around has a thing/job to keep us on track.

Shower in evening.

Mufti days, school trips, all in office diary with appropriate reminders.

School fairs etc. I have been known to pass off the odd purchased cake as my own by icing it!

But best of all is having a DH who gets on with it.

Feck me, i just read this back, I'm organised and I didn't realise it! It feels like I lurch from one thing to another. I guess it's a case of "smile and wave" and everyone mucking in though

Oh and each child has a hook that that school info goes on!

So I am very excited to be returning FT. I got the job and it is a really good one with an amazing employer. I told them I am 6 months pregnant and they didn't even flinch. Their repsonse was 'We are in this for the long term so let us know what time you need off and if you need us to save you a spot at the office daycare.' OMG!

:) That's brilliant, Want2 - congratulations!

OMG you people, some of you make me feel like a true amateur. I work full time and my husband as well, but he works evenings, so even though he does not mind working around the house and most days cooks our dinner or bakes bread, I still end up by myself after work with my three kids, homeworks, dishes, laundry, cleaning, sometimes cooking and baking. You know, stuff. I believe that I am doing a good job although I am "loosing" it most of the time. However, I am not nearly as organized as some of you are. Great job you are doing.

I never iron although I do own one. The other day I took it out and one of my kids looked at it puzzled: "what is this, mom?" The thing is, I own a dryer. Take the cloths out as soon as it is done and hang everything that might get wrinkled if folded. Works better than ironing.

FWIW I went on strike last year for a few months as the others had got so lazy. The house was minging. But it made my point very well and they all bucked up a bit..

Hi Mandy21 I keep ironing down to a minimum by smoothing out on the table after tumble drying or even after coming off the line. I don't iron uniform shirts especially now they're wearing jumpers.
Hanging shirts up also helps to drop the creases out. I'm lucky I don't have to be super smart at work so I can do stretchy tops instead of shirts.
Hope that helps.

Family meetings are a Godsend. They only need to be for 5 minutes but just going through the upcoming week and checking for outings, parties, etc.
keeps everyone in the loop and up to speed.
Also it's a good habit to have so that when something big comes up you're used to sitting down as a family and talking it through.

We also have clip boards for school notices, clubs and invitations aswell as a clipboard for each childs homework.

My aim is to run the house like a 5* hotel not as in luxury but as efficiently as I can manage, routine and systems aren't sexy but they work. Also if everything is on automatic pilot there is more time for spontaneity and fun.

So I took the day off today to spend it batch-cooking, organising my wardrobe into outfits and ready-to-wear stuff, Internet shop and get on top of admin - basically follow all the tips in this thread.

And guess what? DD is ill and staying home.

Gah. I just can't catch a break!

And one key to it is never as a woman run that house. Men as much as women can take charge of elements - once you move to equal sharing even if there is division of roles eg he buys all food and cooks it and washes up and you do the washing or vice versa it is much easier.

Totally agree with that Xenia
Baffled as to why some women do everything(unless you are a LP)
Best tip of all - divide chores by number of able people in household

We do a lot of these already. I would add - train the kids to stay in bed (or at least in their bedroom) until mum/dad comes in to get them up in the morning. This means on weekdays I can go and put porridge in the microwave, add banana and put in their places and its waiting for them when they come down and about the right temperature. I don't intend to still be doing this when they're 16 but with a 5 and 2 year old its a lot easier to do without their help. At the weekend, DP may go down and whip up a batch of muffins or waffles before he gets them up. And we can have a cup of coffee in peace in the morning and wake up slowly rather than having to deal with the kids wants immediately.

Also second getting them to do basic stuff. My two know to take shoes off when they get in, put clothes in the washing basket before the bath and the eldest can put his clothes away, set the table, help clear the table and hang up coat and bag on his peg when he gets in. I'd be interested in any other suggestions for jobs that could be their responsibility.