back to work for more money or stay on benefits but be a more relaxed mum?

[penandpaper]

have an interview for a well paid job which i know will be stressful at times, and worried that i might end up snappy and miserable with my children tea time, always worrying about work the next day etc etc. am a bit of a perfectionist so know i would be like that, have been in the past.
have loved being at home after school for them past few months, no rush in mornings, less stress - but obviously don't want to be on benefits forever, and money is tight. really can't decide what's for the best for all of us. single parent of three. any comments - stop my head going round in circles?!

I was grumpy and bitter last night. Everyone's situation is different, everyone has their sorrows. TSC your situation is different to mine. I am lucky. It's a good job, my children are older.

I do think its useful to see your point of view though gooseberry. Im another one off out to work soon- yes, its stressful at times getting my 5 and 7 yr olds up and into their school uniforms, fed and off to the childminder before school - but at the end of the day its just a part of normal life. I think it would send out such a poor message to say to my ds's- oh nummy finds it all a bit rushed and hectic in the morning- so I'd better give up work and be at home all day! And when you are relying on benefits to do that it becomes even more absurd.
Op - glad you've sorted out a doctor visit. May be as simple as something like iron tablets you need. But really, unless their is a clear medical reason which renders you unable to work, its a dreadful message to give to your kids

The last few posts really show how tough it is for some people who want to find a job - maybe makes you realise has lucky you are OP to have one in the pipeline?

But if you're a perfectionist surely you want to show your children that one can be a wonderful mother and have a rewarding career? It is possible you know, despite the stress of working...

I would be worried that benefits are going down and the cost of living is going up.

I would also be worried that the older you get and the longer you have been out of work, the harder it will be to get a job in the future. When you eventually want or need a job you may be unable to get one.

They increased CTC last month by £10 due to rising living cost but my weekly shopping bill have almost doubled. I would be far better off working if i could find a bloody job, its getting quite desperate at the moment. Its a choice between clothes and new shoes for DD3 whos desperate or food. Last week 2 school trips send me into borrow mode from my mam

OP - how can you be getting any maintenance (sp?) payments at all. aren't these meant to go to the benefits people who pay your benefits? or thats how i thought it worked. so you are getting your benefits and keeping your maintenace payments?

I think that has changed now - you get to keep maintenance and it doesn't count as income in terms of HB etc. Could be wrong, though.

how can the OP be on tax credits when she is not workng. i thought she must be on income support of the such like. i cant believe you can still collect a large sum of maintenance and claim housing and counil tax benefit - thats just crazy. maybe OP can confirm. thanks

you can claim child tax credits even if not working.

child tax credit has taken the place of income support that used to cover parents as well as children. ie. you now get IS for just yourself (£135ish a fortnight) and then child tax credits for the children.

maintenance has been disregarded since March 2011.

penandpaper,
you will make the right decision for you and your family and don't listen too much to other people's opinions (mines included if you don't like it). Only you really know the reality of your situation and although staying on benefits isn't ideal, and it's a controversial subject, you are considering staying on them for the right reasons: to really be there for your kids (as who else can do it if you're a single parent) and to prevent your mental health from deteriorating, which would have a very negative affect on your children (and children are our future, society's working future!).

I worked full time as a teacher with 2 kids and a husband, thankfully, and it was pretty hard going. After the birth of my 3rd child i decided to only go back 3 days a week and resign the other 2 days, for good. My reasons are the exact same as yours: i want to be there for my kids without being stressed out or feeling depressed by the pressures of juggling full time work and full time guilt! For me, this balance is perfect. Life is still busy but i am not overwhelmed, it is manageable and i would go as far as to say i am enjoying my life right now and really enjoying my kids. I am very lucky I had this option as my husband is the bread-winner, although we are by no means sitting pretty. We still budget and spend wisely. You do not have that option as you are a single parent, for whatever reason. You can work when they're all in school, doing school hours perhaps? It's something you can sort in a few years once you are stronger mentally. I don't mind paying taxes to help people like you, like i said it's for the right reasons. It's the junkies and lazy hash heads i hate paying for, but that's a whole other debate.
Take care and i hope you come to the right decision for you and your kids.
ps i suppose i should say you should carefully consider the benefits of a well paid job too! maybe you would earn enough money to hire a cleaner and get takeaways at the weekend so all your free time was spent having fun with your kids??? Good Luck.