Good things about being a feminist

[sethstarkaddersmum]

I'll start.

1. Less painful feet

they're in a bad mood because their feet hurt

hahaha SSM

My lovely new shoes ripped my feet to shreds the other day

And they weren't even that high!

I took this as a light-hearted celebratory type thread, anyway.

What i like is that identifying myself as a feminist means that i can find somewhere like this to post about things that upset me and I don't have to have huge arguments/setting out of stalls/that sort of thing first.

bloody patriarchy!

I mean honestly, bloody shoe designers, have you ever in your life heard a man say their new shoes had ripped their feet up?
I have just started to read 'Beauty and Misogyny' by Sheila Jeffreys atm. She has a whole chapter on feet - looks interesting....

My new shoes are so pretty though...

LOL!

one day, when feminists rule the world, there will be shoes that are both pretty and comfortable.

they may even be pink and glittery with flowers on.

and men will wear them too.

YES! I would give my right arm for pretty comfortable shoes. These were supposed to be the happy medium (I'm off proper heels since the kids) but my heels were not happy.

I often think that women who do the whole female prettification thing must be hard as fuck pain-threshold-wise. Hobbling shoes, having the hair ripped out of all the most sensitive areas, blow-drying hair for hours (it kills my arms after a while), all that heat so close to the skin, eye makeup and perming and dying and other things that make your eyes sting like a bastard (that may just be me ), having beauty treatments done that mean you have to restrict your behaviour/mobility for hours (or even DAYS) otehrwise it goes wrong.... All of these things are painful and difficult, I am genuinely quite awed (and not really in a good way) at the things people will go through...

On the shoes though, men used to wear heels didn't they. In those days though i expect many shoes were handmade so they probably fitted better.

Are there bad things about being a Feminist then?

I like being able to meet life on my own terms - within certain constraints due to the responsibilities that I myself have chosen and willingly bear

For me, feminism has always revolved around economic independence. Without economic equality, the rest is so much horseshit.

I think this thread sums up the answer to the "why so many female critics of feminism"....it just makes "feminism" seem so prescribed and implies you only fit in if you adhere to a certain set of stereotypes.

Yuno I find that once I had really thought about things and found out some more about it, there was an awful lot going on around me all the time to get worked up about. Which can be quite tiring

Nancydrew what on this thread are the prescriptions about what feminists have to do?

'Are there bad things about being a Feminist then?'

Having to wear hessian dungarees all the time.
And not being allowed to eat anything except lentils

I was also upset about having to divorce my husband and go and live in a lesbian commune.

Oh well.

I suppose it is more the prescriptions about what a feminist ought not do.

I have always considered myself to be at least equal to any man. I have excelled at a career in a male dominated industry and have always believed in equality and womans rights, spoken up where I have observed discrimination and generally, IMO, behaved in a "feminist" manner.

I then read these forums and realise that I am not actually a feminist because, amongst other things, I highlight my hair, wear high heals, hate getting my period, feel flattered if a man (or of course a woman) comments on my appearance, enjoy a bit of light spanking in the bedroom, get a brazillian every 6 weeks and changed my name when I got married.

And then I want to bang my head against the wall when I hear woman say "but why don't people want to be regarded as a 'feminist'"

Also my leg and armpit hair are so long, they are a bit troublesome. I'd like to be able to plait them, but am concerned that this would be considered a grooming activity and therefore anti-feminist.

Where does it say that feminists have to do those things though? And that if they don't they're not feminists?

People were saying how they felt about it, not how everybody has to behave in order to join some kind of gang.

When you read these threads surely you realise that the regulars and occasionals who identify themselves as feminists often disagree on things?

Oh I know ISNT.
the lesbian commune is a toughie when you don't really fancy women.
Having to strangle my sons at birth was hard too.
The sacrifices we make!

For me it is about being comfortable in my own skin. And yes that largely (for me)means no high shoes, make up, waxing etc etc. It just isn't me ane never was and I spent a HUGE chunk of my growing up feeling I was abnormal, so for me, being able to say this is me, take me or leave me, is it.

Hooray for blackduck feeling confident!

First i roffled at SSMs last post then I felt all warm and cheerful at yours blackduck.

I love this topic

Nancydrewrocks - everyone finds their own route through feminism, taking the most feminist line on some things and compromising on others.
There has been a lot of discussion on these threads over the last few months about the view that some actions are more feminist than others versus the idea that everything a feminist does is a feminist action.

You do things in the way that makes most sense to you. If you found getting your highlights done particularly burdensome or found it really painful to walk in high heels, you would presumably not do them. You have, on the other hand, made the decision to/been in a position to, excel in a male dominated industry, whereas some of us feminists would never dream of highlighting our hair but are SAHMs. Other people don't have the confidence to speak up about discrimination but wouldn't be likely to get a Brazilian. Nobody is giving anybody else a rating as a feminist/not a feminist. But you would almost certainly find that feminists would be more likely to do certain things than people who aren't feminists - eg most of the non-feminists I know in RL who are married have changed their names but only a couple of the feminists.

(just realised that I have implied that being a SAHM is unfeminist - I didn't mean that, but it isn't pushing the boundaries of what women do in the way that succeeding in a male-dominated career is.)

It's much cheaper being a feminist.

I've been resisting the pull of Boots a great deal more since I started reading this board frequently.

I must admit to buying a hair dye today though.
It's not the aging I dislike, but the being 'worn down' by the shitty position this society leaves mothers in.

Seeing everything as it is is very wearing though, and makes me sad. Misogyny everywhere.

I like the fact that feminists don't look or behave in any set way, but all have a common desire, a better deal for women.

HOORAY!!!

And there's nothing wrong with a spot of hair dye...