How is it possible to be a feminist and support the sex industry?

[Molesworth]

I've just been reading this article from the guardian. Young girls are being sold to brothel keepers and made to take steroids so that they look older than they really are.

All my instincts say that the sex industry is just plain wrong. I know some feminists think it's OK (although obviously they wouldn't support practices like those described in the article). Are there any sex industry supporting feminists here? What's the rationale?

I joined this debate because it seems a great opportunity to actually give an opinion on it from an insider point of view. I do not claim to speak for the whole of the industry. I do however have an active support group for ?colleagues? and am part of a mentoring scheme that pairs experienced ladies with newer escorts to give practical and emotional support.

And as great as the diversity of ladies working in the industry is ? so is the clientele. I abhor the kind of person that seeks to exploit a vulnerable person. These guys tend to treat WGs as the human equivalent of battery hens. But just like in many other industries there is a strata of different ladies, the ones with more education and access for example to the Internet and simply better organisational skills often do tend to have a better clientele and better income. That is similar to many other industries with sliding scales and not a judgement just stating the reality of many work places. I do however want to actually foster a bit better understanding of some of our customers. I really would like to dispel the myth of all being disrespecting saddos who ?violate? or objectify women. I see a lot of younger guys who are climbing up the corporate career ladder with little free time to meet and socialise with women. Often they are actually very attractive lovely men who actually do not want to ?use? women for a one night stand or mislead them but simply have no time to devote to a relationship. I also see a lot of guys who really do love their partners but live parallel and desperately isolated lives as they do not seem to be able to communicate their desires to each other any more. Not all guys are cheating lotharios ? in fact, at times if a little more warmth and simple respect would be given on both sides, I might have fewer clients. None of my clients would be able to enter my boudoir without total and utter hygiene. Trust me I would get a pressure washer out myself. So please before labelling all clients as unwashed gross men ? just remember many pay to not just get their jollies but in fact 80% of my customers are trying to give me a good time and treat me with kindness and respect.

I know of her through a friend of a colleague - she was described to me as "well meaning but a bit thick" colleague was very 'surprised' at the lack of quality of the research.

Whilst I have absolutely no issue with the word prostitute, I would ask you to desist using the phrase "prostituted women". I find it incredibly offensive.

You will find that many organisations have been founded by an interested party rather than the people it is set up to help. I am sure that in most cases you would have no problem with that.

"If anything my free choice and actual availability could mean my service would in fact possibly mean someone else was not doing it involuntarily."

It might, or it might not. I think not, personally.

"I however do state that figures that are bandied about are grossly misrepresented and instead of actually doing some research ? many journalists repeat those figures instead of actually checking them. As someone actually in the industry I have a fairly good understanding that the great majority of my colleagues are working out of their own free will."

Agreed, it is wise to be sceptical of the statistics about this which are reported in the media. I'm not convinced that you are qualified to speak for the majority of sex workers though, MissHM. It's not as if you have done any research on this yourself, is it? I should think it is difficult - almost impossible, perhaps - to research such a vulnerable and hidden group.

@Molesworth Vulnerable and hidden to the outside world perhaps, but not to each other.

If a prostitute is not qualified to be a prostitute's voice, then who is?

Just what I was going to say, Mandamumu. Surely MissHM is the research, as it were? She says very clearly above that she has "an active support group for ?colleagues? and [is] part of a mentoring scheme that pairs experienced ladies with newer escorts to give practical and emotional support." Ie networking and information gathering, which will give a wider view than purely her own.

You're assuming that all prostitutes are in the same situation, so one can speak for all. I think that's a mistake.

I've never met a woman who refers to herself and other women as 'ladies' btw. Very quaint, MissHM!

I agree with Molesworth, MHM. As she points out, you haven't done any research either. In fact, one could argue that you are more likely to be propagandising than the mainstream media is - because you have something personally invested, in terms of your own identity, in how the sex industry is perceived.

There is no logic in your idea that, because you do it willingly, someone else won't have to do it unwillingly. Sadly, there isn't a finite number of prostitutes required to satisfy demand - they can't think of you, and tick one off the list.

@dittany

Therein lies the problem. The women who come forward to speak to support groups etc are the ones who have had a horrendous time of it.

The only cockle pickers I know about are the ones who drowned.

Do womens aid volunteers assume that all marriage involves violence?

I am a prostitute, a whore, a tart, an escort.

I am not and nor have I ever been, prostituted woman and I think you'll find that if the proper amount of effort was put into getting at the truth, the real truth rather than the self promoting rubbish we've seen so far, then you would find that I am amongst the majority in my profession.

I can assure you that MissHoneyMoon is all woman dittany.

Their actions?

Wanting to spend some time with a woman?
Wanting to be held?

In some cases, yes, they want to have sex. Since when have we lived in such puritanical times for that to be a bad thing?

Oh dittany, you disappoint me - to come out with the "you're a man" slur so quickly!

ticks off sex industry v feminists bingo card

Don't you mean:

"For all BdJ's claims about how great it was, it's a Godsend to people like me that her father "paraded" prostituted women in front of her when she was a teenager, even though paraded is probably a complete overstatement"

Goodness dittany. Reading your posts I'd say you may have some issues. It's rare to find such misandry these days.

My last client paid £250 to pleasure me for 2 hours. He wanted nothing in return, he just wanted to give pleasure. That made him happy.

I do not need the money either, so don't play that card. I have qualifications and skills, I do other work as well. I do this because I like it.

What, you think I'm Mandamumu?

Well, that made me .

Oh, no, sorry, I misread. I'm a bloke.

Oh well.