Teacher upset with my child questioning about trans child

[sarahandsage]

Was Called into school today.
My daughter has just started reception in September, it’s a lovely village school, and she’s made lots of friends and settled in really well.

Yesterday I was called into have chat with her teacher.
Was informed my child has a trans girl in her class, and that my child is questioning the teacher every day about this.
That all the other children accept this child was born in the wrong body, yet my daughter is questioning ‘too much’.

I said we encourage curiosity amongst our children, so am
not surprised.

The teacher then said that my child was taken to one side and read a couple of books :
My name is Jazz
and one about a crayon that feels like a different colour.
Which was astonishing to me, because really singling out a child to (as the teacher said ) “Get her on board”, feels very pushy.

My daughter is very kind, and plays with all the children in the class including the trans girl.
The teacher is not concerned with unkindness, but that my daughter is not accepting enough, and she has asked us to reiterate pronouns and that this child is a girl.

This is the first school experience for us, as previously my daughter was at a childminder

It feels very wrong to single out a child, and read books that introduce a concept that we haven’t broached with our children yet.

So... you're not going to answer any more questions, or give an update?

Your child is being lied to by adults, and they are expecting her to go along with the lie. Boys are not girls and girls are not boys. I'd be furious.

Don't worry, if it happened as the OP claims, there will be an investigation.

6.3 Pronouns
Agreeing to a child’s request to have others use different pronouns about them is a
significant decision. Primary school aged children should not have different pronouns to
their sex-based pronouns used about them.
For older children, schools do not need to specify pronouns to be used about each pupil
and can decline a request to change a child’s pronouns. Where a school or college
considers a child’s request, they should consult the child’s parents and consider all the
relevant factors as outlined above. Having considered these factors and examined all the
evidence, schools and colleges should only agree to a change of pronouns if they are
confident that the benefit to the individual child outweighs the impact on the school
community. It is expected that there will be very few occasions in which a school or
college will be able to agree to a change of pronouns. On these rare occasions, no
teacher or pupil should be compelled to use these preferred pronouns and it should not
prevent teachers from referring to children collectively as ‘girls’ or ‘boys,’ even in the
presence of a child that has been allowed to change their pronouns. Even in the
exceptional case where safeguarding requires a school or college to take an alternative
approach, schools and colleges should exhaust all other options, such as using first
names, to avoid requiring other individuals having to use preferred pronouns. In these
exceptional cases, schools or colleges should make sure that all relevant staff are aware
of a gender questioning child’s biological sex, to fulfil their safeguarding and legal duties.
In all cases, bullying of any child must not be tolerated. No child should be sanctioned for
honest mistakes when adapting to a new way of interacting with another pupil.
Whatever decision is taken with regard to the use of a new name or pronouns, schools
must still include the legal name and sex of the pupil in the admissions register, as
required by the Education (Pupil Registration) Regulations (England) 2006

Taken directly from https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf

Thanks for that 👍🏼

It'll still end up at 40 pages of circles, wind them up and watch them goooooo...... 🙄😁

That's England.

Bat signal!

Absolutely this.

I know of a trans man with a similar story (I know his mother). Nobody in the family, school, or anywhere else pushed it on him. It was self-determined since the time the child could talk.

Yep. Just like being gay.

Mate, most of the early posts are from people on your side of the argument, not Team Reality.

I think the situation that you described as occurring a few years ago is unlikely to be true. Sadly some trans identified people (or their parents) do appropriate DSDs as a kind of justification for the desire to change gender. Children with DSDs are usually diagnosed at birth or soon after. In the UK parents will know whether their child is male or female. It's not a question of picking whether they are more boy-like or girl-like.Those who are diagnosed later aren't diagnosed because of 'gender idenity', whatever that it.

It’s not remotely like being gay 🙄

Exactly, you don't "choose" to be gay. You either are or aren't. So it stands to reason you don't "choose" to be trans just because your mate is.
It smacks of the 80s where we weren't allowed to be taught anything about being gay in case we "caught" it too just by knowing about it. 🙄

Nutshell.

It does not "stand to reason" in any way that being trans is equivalent to being gay. It's far more similar to being Buddhist, or any other belief system.

It's all immaterial, because if this story is true, the school - and certainly this teacher - are not following guidance.

Depends where the school is.

The OP has mentioned kindergarten, so it sounds like they're in the US.

I’m being a total slightly off topic / missing the point pedant here but the crayon book is about having dyslexia ffs

https://www.transgendertrend.com/schools-resources/

Resources here for schools on not socially transitioning children. It’s unfair on children like yours.

It is a sensitive email from the PP but....your child is not making a mistake. It's confusing yes, but a mistake? No.

In the words of the esteemed Mr Orwell
"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command"

These kids are 4, or JUST 5 at most? Really?

if intersex, then of course thats a private matter and different to gender questioning 4 year old.