Teacher upset with my child questioning about trans child

[sarahandsage]

Was Called into school today.
My daughter has just started reception in September, it’s a lovely village school, and she’s made lots of friends and settled in really well.

Yesterday I was called into have chat with her teacher.
Was informed my child has a trans girl in her class, and that my child is questioning the teacher every day about this.
That all the other children accept this child was born in the wrong body, yet my daughter is questioning ‘too much’.

I said we encourage curiosity amongst our children, so am
not surprised.

The teacher then said that my child was taken to one side and read a couple of books :
My name is Jazz
and one about a crayon that feels like a different colour.
Which was astonishing to me, because really singling out a child to (as the teacher said ) “Get her on board”, feels very pushy.

My daughter is very kind, and plays with all the children in the class including the trans girl.
The teacher is not concerned with unkindness, but that my daughter is not accepting enough, and she has asked us to reiterate pronouns and that this child is a girl.

This is the first school experience for us, as previously my daughter was at a childminder

It feels very wrong to single out a child, and read books that introduce a concept that we haven’t broached with our children yet.

Most children accept what they're told
whether this is ok surely depends on whether they are told "x would like to use a different name from now on as they believe they are transgender", or "x used to be a boy and is now a girl".
As accepting that means accepting a lie.
Editing to add, according to the OP the children are being told the child was "born in the wrong body" which is clearly bunkum

It's a teacher's job to teach. Not to affirm delusions, whether minority delusions or otherwise.

This.
Your last point is something that the KCSIE guidance has fudged. They've alluded to other children and adults but don't address the issue of the negative impact on children of lying to them that someone has changed sex - adult or child. See section 279:

"279 The school or college should also make sure that children and their families are aware that while the school or college will appropriately sanction any cases of bullying or harassment, and take a strong stand against bullying, the school or college must also be conscious of the rights of pupils and staff in relation to their religion or belief. However, schools and colleges supporting social transition might consider discussing options with pupils and staff such as using names instead of pronouns".

I'm not sure how they envisage that the last sentence would work as it seems to encompass discussing compelled speech with other children?

It's good your child isn't fooled by this rubbish, the poor child in question is being let down by all the adults around them, there's no such thing as a 'trans' child, so all of the adults in their life are lying to them. Don't let the teacher or the school make your child into a liar as well.

Someone who is 'intersex' is still either male or female. They have a DSD (disorder of sexual development) and that will be male or female specific.

I'm not sure i believe this story tbh

Oh dear god
I'm so so glad. My children are adults now so I don't have to deal with this gaslighting
Because essentially that is what the school is doing to your child
Do not let them confuse her
How far will the school go ,I wonder if she will be using the girls toilet

How lovely she can learn about difference so young. Since she's a kind child, this experience should help her navigate the world. I hope she and her classmates can get on with the rest of the year.

That would be against the law, so I sincerely hope not

I suppose the genderists want to piggyback on gay rights to make their ideas seem more socially acceptable. It's been a masterstroke of marketing. In reality, though, sexual orientation is one thing and having psychological issues related to your biological sex is another thing. There is no logical relationship between them at all.

People have all sorts of beliefs about themselves and a wide range of personality types exist. Some of the beliefs are rooted in material reality, some aren't. Some are harmless, some aren't.

A few relevant facts that not everybody seems to have grasped, even though they come up on every thread like this.

Until very recently professionals supporting children and teenagers with gender-related distress knew that the vast majority would be much happier and accepting of their sex once they were through puberty. Children were not told they were right to believe that in spite of having a male body they had a female brain (or vice versa), because professionals understood that was impossible. The policy of affirming their belief, not questioning it, is very recent and has not produced a big improvement in children's mental health and happiness, rather the contrary.

Gender distress has also been known for decades to be far higher in children on the autistic spectrum, children who've experienced a trauma (e.g. bullying, bereavement or family break up), children with pre-existing mental health problems such as anxiety or depression, children who are gender non-conforming who may (not inevitably, but often) turn out to be gay when older, and children who've been sexually abused. These are things that indicate a child and her or his family need really good support, not to be told that the child really has somehow been mysteriously been born in the wrong body and put on a path to being a lifelong medical patient with reduced life expectancy and quality of life because of the side effects of treatment.

Up until 20 years ago the number of children referred to the gender identity disorder service in England and Wales was barely into three figures and two thirds of them were boys. Now thousands and thousands are referred to mental health services for gender-related issues and two thirds of them are girls. Adolescent girls have been known for hundreds of years to be particularly susceptible to social contagion. If the huge surge in numbers had happened just because it's now more socially acceptable you'd expect a lot of adult women to be transitioning too, but they're not. Amongst adults it's still overwhelmingly men who transition.

And finally, the elephant in the room - when men transition, they very rarely have surgery on the genital area (and a good thing too, given how high the complication rate is and how poor the end results of the surgery are). Men who transition are mostly heterosexual and a great many seem to have some form of fetish about seeing themselves as female and about female body parts and functions. There is nothing to celebrate about that.

If the teacher is new the head might have no idea this is happening.

We all navigate just world just fine, accepting reality as it is 😘

Aren’t the toilets unisex up to the age of 8 ?

The "kindness" argument works both ways though. Both children need to learn to understand and accept difference in belief, not just one.

This ‘experience’ is totally against government guidelines for primary schools, which is there to protect all children. It’s not kind to try to gaslight a curious child into not trusting her own eyes and as for the child in question - they have been let down by the adults around them and that’s nothing celebrate.

The teacher, old or new, should be completely up to speed with her training.

You can only call them an alternative name with clear parental permission.

You're quite right, @hihelenhi 👍🏼

Born in the wrong body was dropped by Mermaids years ago. Even they realised that it was nonsense and could lead to children with gender incongruity rejecting their bodies and/ or harming themselves.

Fucking hell, the irony!

How old to have a trans child in her class

I know right.

Imagine trying to smear and bully a child who is only speaking the truth like this? Its absolutely revolting.

This claim that adults and children in school who spend 32 hours a week with one another cannot tell who is male or female is so absurd I don't know where to start.

Having taught exclusively in Reception for 15 years, and now teaching in SEN primary I can confidently say I have never been in doubt about the sex of a child I've taught. And neither have any the children I've taught.

I've said this before on another thread - sexually reproducing creatures without a nervous system can differentiate between the sexes.
To suggest that humans can't detect the sex of other humans they are spending a significant proportion of time with is just such utter bullshit.