Choosing to stay single/celibate in today’s world

[Autisticradfem]

Hi so I recently turned 20 and I know I’m young but I don’t have the want or desire to have a relationship with a man or to sleep with one for that matter.

I’m autistic so I'm more likely to experience abuse and coercion, I also like most radical feminists anti porn anti sex work anti BDSM and kink critical.

I don’t feel like it’s worth it personally. I don’t wanna be pushed to engage in sexual acts I don’t want I don’t want to be living with my oppressor I don’t want to be impregnated by my oppressor.

the problem is people think I’m silly for not wanting/fearing these things when I see it happening to other women.

why would I want to be a relationship with a porn addicted sex pest who wants to beat the living daylights out of me when we’re having sex?

why would i want to be with my oppressor?

I want to be happy.

i don’t wanna be a heavily pregnant woman who’s husband is begging for sex, i don’t wanna be someone’s chef because he “can’t cook”, i don’t wanna be someone’s housemaid “because he works a lot”.

i don’t wanna be her.

because she’s miserable.

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/281983-struggling-with-feelings-as-friends-get-into-relationships/

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/186472-friendships-when-they-get-into-romanticsexual-relationships-with-other-people/

https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/1lnoppj/how_do_you_handle_your_friends_getting_in_a/

https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/1t58bjd/i_am_annoyed_that_friends_lives_revolve_solely/

https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/18uc930/friends_in_relationships/

Just some examples of how many asexuals struggle with their platonic friends needs for relationships.

I didn't say you were denying yourself happiness or a life, I said a part of life, which an intmate relationship is.

You are an individual with free will so you must do what makes you happy. Whether that includes an intimate relationship at some point in the future or not, is up to you and will depend on many influences.

I agree with this. @Autisticradfem I’m Nd, late diagnosis after a breakdown, and it has really opened my eyes up to how vulnerable I was in relationships.
its true that neurodivergent people can be vulnerable in relationships, experience coercion, abuse etc, but equally it doesn’t have to be the case.
Been my lifelong lesson to learn to listen to my gut and react early to ‘red flags’ 8 would often overlook things that should be a deal breaker because I thought I was ‘too’ much - too sensitive, too anxious, too paranoid, too judgy etc and would let people take advantage and stick around far longer than maybe a neurotypical person might.

forewarned is forearmed, if you do decide you want to get involved with someone maybe do some real researching of relationships red flags , amber flags, early warning signs etc know yourself and your personal boundaries, any triggers, and you will be in a better position to keep yourself safe.
and no, you don’t need to be in a relationship if you don’t want to, many people choose not to, this is my current choice.