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The Bluestocking, where we look forward to good things happening, both soon and later.

1000 replies

AsWithGlad · 26/09/2026 01:05

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women's pub. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by a very enthusiastic crew of gerbils, who enjoy doing this and other interesting things. Any curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road.

Previous thread: here.

OP posts:
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148
NotAtMyAge · 06/10/2026 17:35

MyrtleLion · 06/10/2026 16:12

59. The Long Journey

In which the gerbils make their own arrangements…

The gerbils were in another van travelling at speed to who knew where. Gimbal decided it was lunchtime. It was early afternoon, and her stomach was growling. She took the seed packet out of her pocket and counted what was left by touch. There were six. She gave one to Griffin and one to Graphic and took one herself, then folded the top over and put the packet away with three in it.

“That’s lunch,” she said. “Then there will be three for dinner, if we are still here.” They ate slowly, turning their seed in their paws until there was almost nothing left of it.

About an hour later Gimbal raised the other matter. “We need to make arrangements. Can the small things be done in the straw and then covered over?”

“As long as none of it goes near the glass,” said Graphic. “But the rest is different.”

“But what if we are still in here and we can’t hold on any more?” asked Gimbal.

“The driver will have to stop at some point,” said Griffin. “Even Errol stops, and she has a picnic. When the driver stops for food, we get out of the crate and out of the van, then we find somewhere private.”

“How do we get out of the crate?” asked Graphic.

“It’s only wood,” said Gimbal. “We’ve got teeth and we can gnaw our way out. But the lid has twelve nails in it. I counted. So not the lid, but one of the sides, at the corner. Once we’re out, we don’t have to come back.”

“Out where?” said Griffin. “We’re in a foreign country with no passports. The crate has a docket on the lid. Gosie and Hedgehog will work out where the crate is going. If we leave, they won’t be able to find us.”

“Then we have to come back,” said Graphic, and it was settled.

Griffin cleared the wool away from one of the corners and began to chew. The wood was dry and soft, and sawdust made its way into her whiskers. When she stopped, she had removed a patch about the size of a sunflower seed.

They agreed to take turns and Graphic gnawed in small even strokes. Gimbal counted for her. “Three hundred and twelve,” she said.

“You don’t have to count it,” said Graphic.

“I know,” said Gimbal.

Then it was Gimbal’s turn, and then Griffin’s again, and every turn was shorter than the one before. “I can’t feel my teeth,” said Griffin. “You’ve still got them,” said Gimbal. “I counted.”

The van slowed, turned and drove slowly to a stop. The engine died, a door opened and they felt a cold breeze come through the slats. The van door closed and they heard a short electronic beep.

“She must have stopped for dinner,” whispered Gimbal. “We should eat too.” She counted out the last three seeds and gave one each to Graphic and Griffin. Gimbal folded the top of the empty packet over and put it down on the wool beside her.

Once they had finished eating, they continued with gnawing. Some time later they heard the beep again and the sound of the door being opened. The van moved slightly as the driver took her seat and shut the door.

“That was the stop we should have got out at,” said Griffin.

“But we haven’t broken through the wood yet. We can’t get out while the crate is still in the way,” said Gimbal.

They continued to take turns gnawing until eventually Graphic felt the slat move under her paw. “It’s going,” she said, hardly aloud. Griffin pushed, and the corner opened a gap a little wider than a gerbil.

“I’m going out,” she said. “Follow me.”

Graphic took her paw off the glass, patted the padding and followed Griffin out of the crate. Gimbal went after her and pulled the slat over the gap.

The van was still moving. Griffin made her way to the back doors and felt along them. “No handles or holes,” she said. “Not this way.”

“Try forwards,” said Gimbal. “We can get out of the driver’s door when she stops again.”

They scurried past boxes and crates to the front and sat in a row on the floor of the van behind the driver’s seat. It was warm.

“When she stops, we get out and go somewhere,” whispered Griffin. “When she gets back in, we get back in. Then back into the crate.”

“That’s four things,” said Gimbal, counting on her fingers. “It’s a good number.”

After a time, the van slowed and stopped, and the engine died. The driver’s door opened and the driver left the van.

“Now,” said Griffin.

They climbed onto the driver’s seat and then left the vehicle to find themselves in an enormous brightly-lit car park. The van had parked next to a grassy verge with a hedge, and they found a private spot.

“Don’t look,” said Graphic.

“I’m not looking,” said Griffin.

Suddenly they heard one of the van doors open and then shut.

Gimbal looked up and saw the courier walk round the back of the van from the passenger side. “She’s going now!” she said.

“Run,” said Griffin.

They ran, but before they could reach the driver’s door, the courier opened it, stepped inside and shut the door firmly. The engine started and then the van began to move away. As it passed a street lamp they could see two white letters on the pale grey panel door. KS.

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/59-the-long-journey

Edited

😳😮

AngleofRepose · 06/10/2026 17:39

Nope! Nope!

Nope!

Not happening. Not happening.

Oh my. My blood pressure...

AngleofRepose · 06/10/2026 17:51

Bar gerbils, large coffee, throw some alcohol in it, please...

Any alcohol, just hurry.

No, don't ask.

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:03

AngleofRepose · 06/10/2026 17:51

Bar gerbils, large coffee, throw some alcohol in it, please...

Any alcohol, just hurry.

No, don't ask.

You might regret your lack of specificity.

The Bluestocking, where we look forward to good things happening, both soon and later.
beeakoala · 06/10/2026 18:04

Thank you for your welcome, Myrtle Lion, though I did pop in once before, and I've dipped into other threads occasionally, but I can't claim to be a regular at the Bluestocking as I seem to be trying to catch up with myself most of the time. In fact, sometimes I have great fellow feeling with Batshit - I don't actually run into the house, skid, spin round and end up in a heap but it sort of feels like it! Anyway, thank you all for letting me join in as and when; it's a great place to visit. I have the Gosie Chronicles on my reading list for when I have some brain space, looking forward to it. And in the meantime, get well wishes to all the lurgy sufferers and good luck with the job hunting.

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:05

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:03

You might regret your lack of specificity.

I should explain that the beetle-infused ale did not involve any harm to beetles.

AngleofRepose · 06/10/2026 18:05

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:03

You might regret your lack of specificity.

Honestly, at this point I really couldn't care less!

WearyAuldWumman · 06/10/2026 18:08

I'm watching University Challenge on iPlayer and outrage that some folk online apparently thought that Goldsmith's London would be able to stomp all over my alma mater.

Humph.

AsWithGlad · 06/10/2026 18:13

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:05

I should explain that the beetle-infused ale did not involve any harm to beetles.

Thank you, that’s reassuring. I was ready to express concern, but was checking more recent posts first.

I imagine it’s one of those very special Bluestocking qualities, to give us food without calories or allergens, and alcohol which does not inebriate.

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 06/10/2026 18:15

Doh.

"outraged"

A'm nae weel.

WearyAuldWumman · 06/10/2026 18:16

I've not yet had any rakija. Might polish off the mini-bottle of the apricot variety that I bought in Montenegro a couple of years ago.

DauntlessDamson · 06/10/2026 18:16

LordEmsworthsGirlfriend · 06/10/2026 16:13

I hope they left some, I wandered in in the hope of a large cognac.

No worries, we can always send someone for new supplies from the Staunch Ally down the road.........

JanesLittleGirl · 06/10/2026 18:42

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:03

You might regret your lack of specificity.

Please don't mess @AngleofRepose around? She clearly needs a gill of Woods 200 rum in her coffee.

AngleofRepose · 06/10/2026 18:48

JanesLittleGirl · 06/10/2026 18:42

Please don't mess @AngleofRepose around? She clearly needs a gill of Woods 200 rum in her coffee.

Sounds splendid, although the Root Beer Vodka looks good, too!

Just to recap... we now have three small gerbils abandoned in an unknown layby in a foreign country with no food. And no blankets.

Yes, more rum, please, what Janes said.

DeanElderberry · 06/10/2026 19:31

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:03

You might regret your lack of specificity.

Has the Staunch Ally handed the catering contract to the Ferengi? I really don't think that's a good idea. Don't get me wrong, I always liked Nog, but . . .

EmpressaurusKitty · 06/10/2026 19:49

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:05

I should explain that the beetle-infused ale did not involve any harm to beetles.

So it doesn’t mean that Boily bathed in it first.

Boiledbeetle · 06/10/2026 20:11

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:03

You might regret your lack of specificity.

😱

Boiledbeetle · 06/10/2026 20:11

Magpiecomplex · 06/10/2026 18:05

I should explain that the beetle-infused ale did not involve any harm to beetles.

Phew

ErrolTheDragon · 06/10/2026 21:28

Glayva, Galliano and Grand-Marnier who lead the liqueurs team fortunately know that BoiledBeetle is a client not a recipe.

EdithStourton · 06/10/2026 22:57

<emerges from cellar>
I've found some Armagnac for @LordEmsworthsGirlfriend - will that do?

Batshit was herself this afternoon. In her pre-walk excitement, she half-fell down a step, ricocheted off a wall and then tripped over the back of my leg.

She made up for it 20 minutes later. I had them hunting a field of SFI mix, the sort that's meant to feed the birds, and she flushed a hare. She didn't chase at all, and had begun to sit down before I'd even blown the whistle.

Brains also flushed a hare. She also didn't chase, but she doesn't see the point of sitting down. She just stood there, rigid, as the hare scarpered for the woods. Batshit knows that sitting to flush is what good dogs do. Brains isn't nearly so bothered about being a good dog. Brains is concerned with bending me to her will as much as she reasonably can.

Brains, frankly, is a little shit. But I do love her - she is so much fun.

Chickadeeinme · 06/10/2026 23:23

Apologies folks - on holiday in England, staying with friend I’ve known since we were 9 and haven’t looked at MN for days. Please tag me if a new thread starts because I’ll probably miss it! I am keeping up with gerbil adventures thanks to @MyrtleLion’s Substack.

AsWithGlad · 07/10/2026 00:10

Don't worry, @Chickadeeinme , when The Bluestocking moves there's always a link to the new address posted at least once on the last page of the thread. We wouldn't want to lose anyone on the way.

It sounds like you're having a good time with your friend.

OP posts:
AngleofRepose · 07/10/2026 09:18

Bore da!

Drizzling again. Waiting for a package. Not cleaning windows. Making more coffee. Searching for an aerobic step online. Or a treadmill. Bran flakes for breakfast. And developing a cough. My life is so exciting.

Did I mention waiting for a package? And that it's drizzling?

At least I have that very stern picture of Kitty to look at from time to time, from the Other Thread, to cheer me up! 💜

Chersfrozenface · 07/10/2026 09:29

I'm sure my back will get better but in the meantime I'm a bit fed up.

So, in the interests of morale boosting, what tractor colour should I order for my nails?

MyrtleLion · 07/10/2026 09:49

Waiting for a teledermatology appointment to look at the scar that definitely isn't sknin cancer, as this is just to confirm.

Then I have a free day! So I hope to write the next chapter so I can post it later.

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