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The Bluestocking, where we look forward to good things happening, both soon and later.

1000 replies

AsWithGlad · 26/09/2026 01:05

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women's pub. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by a very enthusiastic crew of gerbils, who enjoy doing this and other interesting things. Any curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road.

Previous thread: here.

OP posts:
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beeakoala · 05/10/2026 20:43

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:22

But isn't it rather crumbly, so it has a tendency to shed bits all over the kitchen if you are moving around while eating it unadorned?

Back in the high chair days it wasn't a problem. Now the intention is that the eater sits in one place, with kitchen roll/muslin/napkin to catch the crumbs. And a plate, of course. Otherwise, well, yes, a few crumbs here and there. But would you notice in my kitchen?

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:47

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 20:43

Back in the high chair days it wasn't a problem. Now the intention is that the eater sits in one place, with kitchen roll/muslin/napkin to catch the crumbs. And a plate, of course. Otherwise, well, yes, a few crumbs here and there. But would you notice in my kitchen?

Then why is it quicker than Weetabix and milk? I think I am missing something obvious here.

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · 05/10/2026 20:48

Brains, OTOH... She can do 3 or 4 feet vertically from a standing start, and land with all four paws all neatly together, and balance like that for a moment until she's decided where her front feet should go next.

Is Brains part cat?

DauntlessDamson · 05/10/2026 20:48

Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:22

AKA Beef tea round my way. Used to get it in hospital as a hot drink choice. Doubt you can now.

Edited

Beef tea has had a makeover and is now known as bone broth. It is sold in most supermarkets and specialist shops as a health food - which allows them to charge a fortune for it, of course.

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:52

There are so many many things to enjoy in the educational and entertaining Gosie chronicles, but one thing I particularly like is lines like this

Nobody asked when

which seem to hint at a mysterious past, which either we all know about so don't need to speak of, or appreciate that it's best left unexplored.

Can you tell I used to spend a lot of time reading spy novels?

OP posts:
beeakoala · 05/10/2026 20:53

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:47

Then why is it quicker than Weetabix and milk? I think I am missing something obvious here.

Perhaps I've been weetabixing in an illusion. But it's a bit hard to be disillusioned on a Monday. And now there are three of us who like the crumbly breakfast anyway, so what am I to do.

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 21:04

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 20:53

Perhaps I've been weetabixing in an illusion. But it's a bit hard to be disillusioned on a Monday. And now there are three of us who like the crumbly breakfast anyway, so what am I to do.

Enjoy your crumbly breakfast?

OP posts:
EdithStourton · 05/10/2026 21:11

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/10/2026 20:48

Brains, OTOH... She can do 3 or 4 feet vertically from a standing start, and land with all four paws all neatly together, and balance like that for a moment until she's decided where her front feet should go next.

Is Brains part cat?

You'd think so to watch her, sometimes.

Incidentally, if anyone has a floor that is covered in Weetabix crumbs or, indeed, any other crumbs and spillages, Brains and Batshit Cleaning Services comes well recommended, and requires payment only in Bonios.

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 21:48

EdithStourton · 05/10/2026 21:11

You'd think so to watch her, sometimes.

Incidentally, if anyone has a floor that is covered in Weetabix crumbs or, indeed, any other crumbs and spillages, Brains and Batshit Cleaning Services comes well recommended, and requires payment only in Bonios.

Oh yes please! We used to have two dogs and there was never a crumb on the floor! And Brains and Batshit sound entertaining too.

NotAtMyAge · 05/10/2026 21:57

MyrtleLion · 05/10/2026 17:51

58. Following the Van

In which NotAtMyAge comes in useful…

@Hedgehogforshort came out of the depot at a run. The Bluestocking patrons were standing where Gosie had left them, except for @JanesLittleGirl, who was leaning against a large grey estate car with the keys in her hand.

“Where did that come from?” asked Hedgehog.

“I picked it up at the airport,” said JanesLittleGirl. “Somebody always needs a car.”

“The crate is being collected now. Early. We need to follow it.”

“Then get in,” said JanesLittleGirl.

@EdithStourton was already opening the back for Brains and Batshit. Brains climbed in and sat down facing forwards. Batshit went in, came out over the back seat, went in again and stood on Brains.

@NotAtMyAge got into the front passenger seat without being asked. “I know the ways of the Serious Scandinavians,” she said.

Hedgehog, JanesLittleGirl and Edith all nodded.

The grey van came out of the depot gate and turned north. JanesLittleGirl waited for a lorry to pass them and pulled out after it.

“Not too close,” said Hedgehog.

“I have followed vans before,” said JanesLittleGirl.

Nobody asked when.

They left Umeå behind them. The road ran straight through a forest, then past fields and red barns, then more forest. JanesLittleGirl kept the lorry between them for twenty minutes, and when it turned off towards Sävar she dropped back until the van was a grey shape at the far end of the straight.

Batshit had her nose against the back window and was barking at every car that came the other way. Edith told her to stop. Batshit stopped, saw a grey van coming the other way, decided it was the same van, and barked at it as well.

“It isn’t that one,” said Edith.

Batshit barked at the next grey van too.

A yellow triangle went past with an elk on it. Batshit saw it and went rigid.

“Älg,” said NotAtMyAge. “Elk.”

“Are there elk?” asked Edith.

“There is a risk elk will wander into the road. That is why there is a sign.”

Batshit stared out of the back window at the sign until it was out of sight. Then she lay down on Brains and sulked.

After an hour the van slowed and signalled right. NotAtMyAge read the sign as they passed it. “Lövånger. Kyrkstad.”

“What is a kyrkstad?” asked Hedgehog.

“A church town. Farmers lived too far from the church to go home after the service, so each family built a little house beside it to sleep in on Sundays and feast days.” She looked out of the window. “Nobody lives in them. They are used for festivals and are let to visitors in summer.”

JanesLittleGirl drove straight past the turn without slowing and continued for another minute before turning around. She took the side road and as they rounded the bend, she could see the van passing a grey stone church next to a freestanding white bell tower.

Behind the church, in rows along narrow grass lanes, were dozens of small red wooden cottages, each with white window frames and a door painted a different colour. The van drove slowly down the second lane and stopped outside the last cottage in the row.

JanesLittleGirl drove slowly to the end of the lane and parked the car behind the church out of sight from the cottages.

They took their time getting out of the car and then Batshit shot off, ran in a full circle round the church and came back to Edith with a pinecone. Edith put both dogs on the lead.

They all walked behind the church and stopped at the end of the second row of houses. From there they could see the van.

The courier opened the back doors and slid the crate onto a sack barrow. The door of the last cottage opened before she reached it. A woman came out, grey hair pinned up, wearing a cardigan and a long skirt. She signed the clipboard, folded the sheet along its perforation and tore it in two. She handed one half back and put the other in her pocket. The courier wheeled the crate inside, then barely a minute later returned to the van, put the sack barrow in the back, and drove away.

“Well,” said Edith. “We’re not going to see anything from here.”

They walked round the back of the row in single file, JanesLittleGirl, then NotAtMyAge, then Edith holding Batshit’s and Brains’, then Hedgehog. They stood out of sight along the wall beside the cottage window and looked in.

They could see a large room with a long scrubbed table under the window and four chairs tucked into it. A stove stood against the far wall. The crate stood in the middle of the floor. The woman was removing the lid with a claw hammer.

She lifted out the first panel, unwrapped it from its packaging, and laid it on the table.

A small spot of light appeared on the floorboards beside the table. It was much brighter than the light around it, as sharp as a pin.

Batshit saw it and leaned forwards at full stretch, nearly hitting the outside wall of the cottage. Edith hauled her back. Brains sat down firmly on Batshit’s tail and stayed there.

Inside, the woman did not look up. She was looking at the spot of light on the floor. Then she looked at the panel. She ran one finger slowly across the glass, stopped midway, and ran it back again.

She unwrapped the second panel and laid it beside the first. A second spot of light appeared on the boards, a little to the left of the first one.

Batshit trembled from nose to tail. Brains leaned on her.

The woman unwrapped the third and fourth panels. Each one threw its own bright point onto the floor, none of them in the same place. She went along the table touching each panel in turn, the same way, tracing a small line on each window, and then she stood with both hands flat on the table and said something aloud to nobody.

“What did she say?” whispered Hedgehog.

NotAtMyAge did not take her eyes off the table.

“Alla fyra har en spricka,” she said. “All four of them have a crack.”

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/58-following-the-van

Edited

In which NotAtMyAge comes in useful…

Believe me, Myrtle, at my age that's all that can be hoped for. 😉😁

MyrtleLion · 05/10/2026 22:59

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 21:48

Oh yes please! We used to have two dogs and there was never a crumb on the floor! And Brains and Batshit sound entertaining too.

hello beeakoala, are you new or previously been here under a different name? whichever, you are very welcome.

If you want to read the full Gosie Chronicles, you can find them on my Substack. Here is the Contents page of Book II, Gosie and the Stained Glass Windows, https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/gosie-and-the-stained-glass-windows, which is the current work in progress.

Book I is very patchy as AI is a terrible writer, but from about Chapter 30 it improves as I started editing it more heavily. You can read Book II without knowing about Book I, though as I try to explain key plot points as I go.

Anyway, lovely to see you here, just ask a passing gerbil for Weetabix or any other foodstuff exactly the way you want it, and it will be with you quicker than you can imagine. And the food doesn't make you fat and the alcohol gets you to the exact warm and fuzzy stage you like before it becomes a poor decision, and you have none of the consequences.

AngleofRepose · 05/10/2026 23:22

Why am I still awake? why has Myrtle's post been hidden?
....

Where are the gerbils!??

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 23:44

Did I imagine a post where Myrtle said we'd read about the gerbils tomorrow? I can't find it now.

OP posts:
AngleofRepose · 05/10/2026 23:50

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 23:44

Did I imagine a post where Myrtle said we'd read about the gerbils tomorrow? I can't find it now.

Post at 18.01 mentions that the next episode will clarify The Gerbil Situation.

ErrolTheDragon · 06/10/2026 00:16

EdithStourton · 05/10/2026 21:11

You'd think so to watch her, sometimes.

Incidentally, if anyone has a floor that is covered in Weetabix crumbs or, indeed, any other crumbs and spillages, Brains and Batshit Cleaning Services comes well recommended, and requires payment only in Bonios.

Or, perhaps, in extra tasty spillages? The dog we had when DD was small was a fussy eater who’d have turned up his nose at a Bono, but was very good at cleaning under the highchair.

MyrtleLion · 06/10/2026 00:26

I have no idea why the post has been hidden and I can't remember what I wrote... I will report this and find out.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/10/2026 02:51

EdithStourton · 05/10/2026 20:36

That's like a shrine to Marmite, Boily.

All through that Gosie chapter I was on the edge of my seat lest Batshit do something really stupid, like go through the window. Landing on Brains and running right around things and quaking with excitement are all things she does. Sometimes she runs a big loop around the garden and then back the other way, just for the LOLs.

And the other day she ran back into the house so fast that she skidded on the paving by the back door. She didn't go over, but she came in at a 45 degree angle to the entrance, and at such a speed that, though her front managed to turn the corner before she hit the wall (the door is in a corner), her arse end collided with it. She came to a halt in the middle of the kitchen with a 'How did that happen?' look on her face.

If she jumps up onto something there are three options. 50% of the time it's all okay. 25% of the time she jumps too hard and overshoots, or careens into Brains, or collides with the back of the vehicle/sofa/whatever. 25% of the time she doesn't jump quite hard enough. Usually she just about manages to get her back legs up, sometimes one back leg misses and she recovers herself, and now and then neither back leg quite makes it and she falls back to earth. In fairness to her, she has higher odds of success when it comes to jumping into the car. She would like to point out that she's had lots of practice with that. It's only the things she hasn't had enough chance to practice jumping on that she has problems with, thank you.

Brains, OTOH... She can do 3 or 4 feet vertically from a standing start, and land with all four paws all neatly together, and balance like that for a moment until she's decided where her front feet should go next.

Mostly she is very, very tolerant of Batshit. Now and then she gives her a resounding telling off for being such an exasperating idiot. And then, after about 15 or 20 minutes, she starts to be conspicuously nice to her, as if she realises that, exasperating as Batshit can be, she really can't help it.

She - Batshit - is dreaming as I type, little twitches of her legs, as if pursuing rabbits in her sleep.

Edited

Dogs are definitely front wheel drive - hence the drifting.

DeanElderberry · 06/10/2026 08:01

Good morning. I still have the rotten virus (could be Covid I suppose, don't really care, just wish it would go away) and didn't sleep well, and it's a wet and gloomy morning, and I am besieged by two starving cats.

On a more optimistic front, I can eat my own breakfast once I've fed them. But I'm down to my last five eggs, so will get very anxious unless I go to Aldi and top up.

And it's budget day, so am agog. I'm sure Marie is agog too. What will we get? How soon will the price of fuel go down? Will the price of booze go up?

HAGADAPA

ErrolTheDragon · 06/10/2026 08:15

So sorry you’re still suffering, Dean. HAGADAP and lots of Brew.

Damp and grey here today. I should do some catching up on housework and then Dave’s eye clinic in the afternoon. Hope the waiting room isn’t too germy as it seems There’s a Lot of It About at the moment, whatever ‘It’ is.

EdithStourton · 06/10/2026 09:09

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 21:48

Oh yes please! We used to have two dogs and there was never a crumb on the floor! And Brains and Batshit sound entertaining too.

They'll be with you shortly - just packing the van!
And they are very entertaining. Just what out for Brains and her sense of humour.

The Bluestocking, where we look forward to good things happening, both soon and later.
EdithStourton · 06/10/2026 09:10

I hope that everyone who is feeling manky/ sore/ etc feels better well before lunchtime.

AngleofRepose · 06/10/2026 09:26

EdithStourton · 06/10/2026 09:09

They'll be with you shortly - just packing the van!
And they are very entertaining. Just what out for Brains and her sense of humour.

I'm instantly suspicious of the "Professional/Reliable." Thorough, now that I would believe! Is it just me?

AngleofRepose · 06/10/2026 09:33

Bore da, everyone! I'm sorry lots of you are ill 😟I'm going to start avoiding people outside the Bluey, I think, because I don't want whatever you have.

The recent dog pics on the JKR thread might cheer you up! (I think there's a really gorgeous one of Kitty, too)

My plans for today have changed because it's raining. (I'm really not complaining, I remember what the summer was like). Might be a good day to start booking in more viewings, if there is anything to view. And I do need to do some indoor cleaning. I could start with the windows. <sigh>

I think I'll stay here for a while and have a hot chocolate and a croissant... 😁

MyrtleLion · 06/10/2026 09:39

MyrtleLion · 06/10/2026 00:26

I have no idea why the post has been hidden and I can't remember what I wrote... I will report this and find out.

The post was identified as spam but has been unhidden now.

I was welcoming @beeakoala and pointed her to the Substack with the full Gosie Chronicles but it may have looked like advertising.

Job interview in 20 minutes.

ErrolTheDragon · 06/10/2026 09:44

AngleofRepose · 06/10/2026 09:33

Bore da, everyone! I'm sorry lots of you are ill 😟I'm going to start avoiding people outside the Bluey, I think, because I don't want whatever you have.

The recent dog pics on the JKR thread might cheer you up! (I think there's a really gorgeous one of Kitty, too)

My plans for today have changed because it's raining. (I'm really not complaining, I remember what the summer was like). Might be a good day to start booking in more viewings, if there is anything to view. And I do need to do some indoor cleaning. I could start with the windows. <sigh>

I think I'll stay here for a while and have a hot chocolate and a croissant... 😁

I went to have a look but they’ve been submerged by yet another sealion.Hmm

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