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The Bluestocking, where we look forward to good things happening, both soon and later.

1000 replies

AsWithGlad · 26/09/2026 01:05

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women's pub. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by a very enthusiastic crew of gerbils, who enjoy doing this and other interesting things. Any curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road.

Previous thread: here.

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WearyAuldWumman · 05/10/2026 17:29

Re: butter on breakfast.

I recall that Soviet student hostel cafeterias used to sell porridge* with a dollop of butter on top of it to sweeten it.

Also, DH made Atholl Brose for breakfast - oats kirned up with butter, salt, hot water...and then cold milk was added.

*You never knew what was in the porridge: could be buckwheat, rice, semolina...Basically, it was like an old-fashioned pudding.

MyrtleLion · 05/10/2026 17:48

Do you want another Gosie chapter?

Of course you do.

MyrtleLion · 05/10/2026 17:51

58. Following the Van

In which NotAtMyAge comes in useful…

@Hedgehogforshort came out of the depot at a run. The Bluestocking patrons were standing where Gosie had left them, except for @JanesLittleGirl, who was leaning against a large grey estate car with the keys in her hand.

“Where did that come from?” asked Hedgehog.

“I picked it up at the airport,” said JanesLittleGirl. “Somebody always needs a car.”

“The crate is being collected now. Early. We need to follow it.”

“Then get in,” said JanesLittleGirl.

@EdithStourton was already opening the back for Brains and Batshit. Brains climbed in and sat down facing forwards. Batshit went in, came out over the back seat, went in again and stood on Brains.

@NotAtMyAge got into the front passenger seat without being asked. “I know the ways of the Serious Scandinavians,” she said.

Hedgehog, JanesLittleGirl and Edith all nodded.

The grey van came out of the depot gate and turned north. JanesLittleGirl waited for a lorry to pass them and pulled out after it.

“Not too close,” said Hedgehog.

“I have followed vans before,” said JanesLittleGirl.

Nobody asked when.

They left Umeå behind them. The road ran straight through a forest, then past fields and red barns, then more forest. JanesLittleGirl kept the lorry between them for twenty minutes, and when it turned off towards Sävar she dropped back until the van was a grey shape at the far end of the straight.

Batshit had her nose against the back window and was barking at every car that came the other way. Edith told her to stop. Batshit stopped, saw a grey van coming the other way, decided it was the same van, and barked at it as well.

“It isn’t that one,” said Edith.

Batshit barked at the next grey van too.

A yellow triangle went past with an elk on it. Batshit saw it and went rigid.

“Älg,” said NotAtMyAge. “Elk.”

“Are there elk?” asked Edith.

“There is a risk elk will wander into the road. That is why there is a sign.”

Batshit stared out of the back window at the sign until it was out of sight. Then she lay down on Brains and sulked.

After an hour the van slowed and signalled right. NotAtMyAge read the sign as they passed it. “Lövånger. Kyrkstad.”

“What is a kyrkstad?” asked Hedgehog.

“A church town. Farmers lived too far from the church to go home after the service, so each family built a little house beside it to sleep in on Sundays and feast days.” She looked out of the window. “Nobody lives in them. They are used for festivals and are let to visitors in summer.”

JanesLittleGirl drove straight past the turn without slowing and continued for another minute before turning around. She took the side road and as they rounded the bend, she could see the van passing a grey stone church next to a freestanding white bell tower.

Behind the church, in rows along narrow grass lanes, were dozens of small red wooden cottages, each with white window frames and a door painted a different colour. The van drove slowly down the second lane and stopped outside the last cottage in the row.

JanesLittleGirl drove slowly to the end of the lane and parked the car behind the church out of sight from the cottages.

They took their time getting out of the car and then Batshit shot off, ran in a full circle round the church and came back to Edith with a pinecone. Edith put both dogs on the lead.

They all walked behind the church and stopped at the end of the second row of houses. From there they could see the van.

The courier opened the back doors and slid the crate onto a sack barrow. The door of the last cottage opened before she reached it. A woman came out, grey hair pinned up, wearing a cardigan and a long skirt. She signed the clipboard, folded the sheet along its perforation and tore it in two. She handed one half back and put the other in her pocket. The courier wheeled the crate inside, then barely a minute later returned to the van, put the sack barrow in the back, and drove away.

“Well,” said Edith. “We’re not going to see anything from here.”

They walked round the back of the row in single file, JanesLittleGirl, then NotAtMyAge, then Edith holding Batshit’s and Brains’, then Hedgehog. They stood out of sight along the wall beside the cottage window and looked in.

They could see a large room with a long scrubbed table under the window and four chairs tucked into it. A stove stood against the far wall. The crate stood in the middle of the floor. The woman was removing the lid with a claw hammer.

She lifted out the first panel, unwrapped it from its packaging, and laid it on the table.

A small spot of light appeared on the floorboards beside the table. It was much brighter than the light around it, as sharp as a pin.

Batshit saw it and leaned forwards at full stretch, nearly hitting the outside wall of the cottage. Edith hauled her back. Brains sat down firmly on Batshit’s tail and stayed there.

Inside, the woman did not look up. She was looking at the spot of light on the floor. Then she looked at the panel. She ran one finger slowly across the glass, stopped midway, and ran it back again.

She unwrapped the second panel and laid it beside the first. A second spot of light appeared on the boards, a little to the left of the first one.

Batshit trembled from nose to tail. Brains leaned on her.

The woman unwrapped the third and fourth panels. Each one threw its own bright point onto the floor, none of them in the same place. She went along the table touching each panel in turn, the same way, tracing a small line on each window, and then she stood with both hands flat on the table and said something aloud to nobody.

“What did she say?” whispered Hedgehog.

NotAtMyAge did not take her eyes off the table.

“Alla fyra har en spricka,” she said. “All four of them have a crack.”

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/58-following-the-van

The Bluestocking, where we look forward to good things happening, both soon and later.
MyrtleLion · 05/10/2026 18:01

Marmite is lovely, as long as it is thinly spread, but I don't eat bread any more so I haven't had it in years. I think the Walrus is not a fan. Obviously that should mean an instant divorce, but he is rather lovely and supportive and he bought me my very own gerbil for my birthday.

Weetabix with hot milk was wonderful when I was a child in a cold house, but now I don't have milk, which resulted in significantly reducing my asthma (I do think the asthma prevalence is partly due to cereal and milk breakfasts - I was the only child in a school of 300 5-8 year olds in the mid-70s and one of only two in a school of 500 9-12 year olds in the late 70s, sadly the other girl died at the age of 13).

And a tiny spoiler, the next episode catches up with the Missing Three.

AngleofRepose · 05/10/2026 18:04

“All four of them have a crack.”

What does that mean? What does it all mean?? 🙀

JanesLittleGirl · 05/10/2026 18:55

There was a French girl who shared our flat during my first year at uni. She was fascinated by my big jar of marmite and eventually asked if she could try it. I said of course she could and the best way to eat it was thinly spread on buttered toast. Well, she spread it like it was Nutella. Strangely, she never asked to try it again.

DeanElderberry · 05/10/2026 19:05

Back when I worked in Dublin, my retired friend Maura, who had once worked in our institution, would often visit us at teabreak to catch up on news and have some sciency chat. Although she was very fond of our Nigel (a 'womany man', a high compliment, because he made her coffee and photocopied stuff for her) she would still be sure to give pep talks to the female staff, often starting with "Do you know what the men are at now?"

Well my friends, I have been on Other Threads, and DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE EFFING MEN ARE AT?

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 19:10

I eat Weetabix as a biscuit, just as it is. No milk, butter or marmite required. And I have brainwashedtaught my granddaughters to do the same. Do you have idea how much time that saves at breakfast?!

Magpiecomplex · 05/10/2026 19:31

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 19:10

I eat Weetabix as a biscuit, just as it is. No milk, butter or marmite required. And I have brainwashedtaught my granddaughters to do the same. Do you have idea how much time that saves at breakfast?!

That's genius! Not going to talk me out of butter and marmite though.

EdithStourton · 05/10/2026 20:13

Before I read Gosie, it's like this
Bovril miles out in front.
Marmite a rather poor second.
Vegemite third.

As you were.

PS Did you know that during the Siege of Ladysmith in the Boer War, the troops were so short of food that they began rendering down the horses into something that was called 'chevril'. Logically they should have called it Equil, but someone on the staff obvs decided that a nod to French sounded classier. As if the poor famished rankers cared.

Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:15

ErrolTheDragon · 05/10/2026 15:58

I think there are a few people here who need to see your Marmite collection, @Boiledbeetle.
Unless they’ve been culled in your throwout Shock ?

Any excuse to show off my marmite...

Hold on...

Some marmite related stuff is currently in the loft, but here's the jars (and a large bag of tea bags)

The Bluestocking, where we look forward to good things happening, both soon and later.
AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:20

That's it, Bovril! I knew one of the dark spreads wasn't vegetarian. Not too dim, after all.

OP posts:
Magpiecomplex · 05/10/2026 20:21

Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:15

Any excuse to show off my marmite...

Hold on...

Some marmite related stuff is currently in the loft, but here's the jars (and a large bag of tea bags)

.

waynes world GIF
AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:22

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 19:10

I eat Weetabix as a biscuit, just as it is. No milk, butter or marmite required. And I have brainwashedtaught my granddaughters to do the same. Do you have idea how much time that saves at breakfast?!

But isn't it rather crumbly, so it has a tendency to shed bits all over the kitchen if you are moving around while eating it unadorned?

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:22

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:20

That's it, Bovril! I knew one of the dark spreads wasn't vegetarian. Not too dim, after all.

AKA Beef tea round my way. Used to get it in hospital as a hot drink choice. Doubt you can now.

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:23

Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:15

Any excuse to show off my marmite...

Hold on...

Some marmite related stuff is currently in the loft, but here's the jars (and a large bag of tea bags)

What a fine collection.

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:24

Magpiecomplex · 05/10/2026 20:21

.

Is it bad I'm laughing at my own choice of react button to your post?

WearyAuldWumman · 05/10/2026 20:25

Thehorticulturalhussie · 05/10/2026 16:55

Poor you, I hope that the care gerbils will provide tea and sympathy.

I currently have a lovely cup of lemsip with the addition of honey from my cousin's smallholding.

Magpiecomplex · 05/10/2026 20:26

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:22

But isn't it rather crumbly, so it has a tendency to shed bits all over the kitchen if you are moving around while eating it unadorned?

You probably need an ancient Mesopotamian device for catching crumbs. I've just outed myself to my mother and sister - it's what we used to call a plate.

Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:26

beeakoala · 05/10/2026 19:10

I eat Weetabix as a biscuit, just as it is. No milk, butter or marmite required. And I have brainwashedtaught my granddaughters to do the same. Do you have idea how much time that saves at breakfast?!

At a push I can, but it's like trying to eat dry cream crackers. If you're not careful and go too fast you end up coughing most of it on to the floor!

WearyAuldWumman · 05/10/2026 20:26

Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:15

Any excuse to show off my marmite...

Hold on...

Some marmite related stuff is currently in the loft, but here's the jars (and a large bag of tea bags)

Can't stand the taste, but that's an impressively decorative display. I approve of your choice of tea.

Magpiecomplex · 05/10/2026 20:27

Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:24

Is it bad I'm laughing at my own choice of react button to your post?

Entirely appropriate choice, I'd say! 😆

Boiledbeetle · 05/10/2026 20:27

WearyAuldWumman · 05/10/2026 20:26

Can't stand the taste, but that's an impressively decorative display. I approve of your choice of tea.

The very large bag was a birthday present The other month. My friends know me well!

EdithStourton · 05/10/2026 20:36

That's like a shrine to Marmite, Boily.

All through that Gosie chapter I was on the edge of my seat lest Batshit do something really stupid, like go through the window. Landing on Brains and running right around things and quaking with excitement are all things she does. Sometimes she runs a big loop around the garden and then back the other way, just for the LOLs.

And the other day she ran back into the house so fast that she skidded on the paving by the back door. She didn't go over, but she came in at a 45 degree angle to the entrance, and at such a speed that, though her front managed to turn the corner before she hit the wall (the door is in a corner), her arse end collided with it. She came to a halt in the middle of the kitchen with a 'How did that happen?' look on her face.

If she jumps up onto something there are three options. 50% of the time it's all okay. 25% of the time she jumps too hard and overshoots, or careens into Brains, or collides with the back of the vehicle/sofa/whatever. 25% of the time she doesn't jump quite hard enough. Usually she just about manages to get her back legs up, sometimes one back leg misses and she recovers herself, and now and then neither back leg quite makes it and she falls back to earth. In fairness to her, she has higher odds of success when it comes to jumping into the car. She would like to point out that she's had lots of practice with that. It's only the things she hasn't had enough chance to practice jumping on that she has problems with, thank you.

Brains, OTOH... She can do 3 or 4 feet vertically from a standing start, and land with all four paws all neatly together, and balance like that for a moment until she's decided where her front feet should go next.

Mostly she is very, very tolerant of Batshit. Now and then she gives her a resounding telling off for being such an exasperating idiot. And then, after about 15 or 20 minutes, she starts to be conspicuously nice to her, as if she realises that, exasperating as Batshit can be, she really can't help it.

She - Batshit - is dreaming as I type, little twitches of her legs, as if pursuing rabbits in her sleep.

AsWithGlad · 05/10/2026 20:43

Magpiecomplex · 05/10/2026 20:26

You probably need an ancient Mesopotamian device for catching crumbs. I've just outed myself to my mother and sister - it's what we used to call a plate.

Is that possible without the use of both hands?

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