Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

[BernardBlacksMolluscs]

As I was cleaning the house this morning I was musing on those songs that come on the radio that you've been singing along with for years where you suddenly actually listen to the lyrics and either think 'well you sound very sensible' or 'intervention. NOW'. Any one got any suggestions? The ones I came up with first were

Healthy - Respect by Aretha Franklin. I know it's a cliche, and the guy she's singing about sounds like borderline not a keeper frankly, but I love the line 'I ain't gonna do you wrong, cause I don't want to'. She's all in, but she's still telling him how she expects to be treated

Red buntingtastic - Never Gonna Give You Up - why wouldn't she get a full commitment from any other guy Rick, you gaslighting bastard?

Anyone else fancy whiling away some weekend time thinking up some examples?

(mumsnet's AI suggested a thread title of 'Songs that sound sensible or alarming once you really hear the lyrics' which I kind of love but decided not to go with!)

"Don't give up" by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush, is sad and lovely. A strong relationship in a hard time.

Bill Wyman - Je Suis un Rock star

We could go on the hovercraft

Across the water

They'll think I'm your dad

And you're my daughter

Shudder

Oh God, I remember that, it was in the charts!

I believe he originally wrote it for Ian Dury, who funnily enough didn't want it.

I always had a feeling Dury wrote his own lyrics; was I wrong? Have I been admiring the cleverness of the man all these years without good reason? Meep!

This couplet is pure poetry. 'Mickey' also known as 'Hey Mickey'. Written by Nicky Chinn & Mike Chapman. A worldwide hit for Toni Basil.

Oh, Mickey, what a pity you don't understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand

No I think he did, but I guess Wyman thought he could sell it to him. Nope!

Not only a brilliant lyricist, a man with a bit of taste as well. Good. I can go on admiring him, then.

I didn't particularly like Bill Wyman even before he became seriously creepy, or at least complicated: as Wikipedia puts it, "In 1993, Wyman's son Stephen Wyman married Patsy Smith, the 46-year-old mother of Wyman's ex-wife Mandy Smith. Stephen was 30 years old at the time. Consequently, the ex-Rolling Stone became his own son's ex-son-in-law, the father-in-law of his ex-mother-in-law, as well as the stepgrandfather of his ex-wife."

Any fifty-two-year-old who marries someone of eighteen he's been having sex with since she was fourteen is NOT OK as far as I am concerned!

Surely the older woman was at fault in Maggie May - he says he should be "back at school" which either means actual school or at least college - still very young.
editing to add, I see Rod said he based it on losing his virginity at 16 to an older woman at a jazz festival

😁
Let him go back to his mother and set her mind at ease
I hear she is an old, old woman, very hard to please
It’s slightin’ me and talkin’ ill is all she’s ever done
Because that I was courtin’ her great big ugly son

Mind, for every song like that there’s a Still I love him …

He stands at the corner and whistles me out
His hands in his pockets, his shirt hanging out
Still I love him, I’ll forgive him
I’ll go with him wherever he goes

He bought me a handkerchief, red, white and blue
And then to clean windows he tore it in two
Still I love him, …

He comes down our alley and whistles me out
And when I get out there he knocks me about
Still I love him, …

He took me to the alehouse and bought me some stout
Before I could drink it, he ordered me out
Still I love him, …

Have some self-respect, woman, ditch the rotten fucker.

Edited: That’ll teach me to RTFT before posting! Of course a PP got there first!

I haven't read the whole thread but "Run for your Life" by The Beatles always freaks me out. I absolutely love them but this song is rank.

I'd rather see you dead, little girl,
Than to be with another man.
You'd better keep your head, little girl,
Or I won't know where I am.

You'd better run for your life if you can, little girl,
Hide your head in the sand, little girl,
Catch you with another man,
That's the end ah, little girl.

Well you know that I'm a wicked guy
And I was born with a jealous mind.
And I can't spend my whole life
Tryin' just to make you toe the line.

It was mentioned upthread, but Flowers in the Window is lovely. I should have thought of it sooner as it was the first dance at my wedding!

When I first held you, I was cold
A melting snowman, I was told
But there was no one there to hold
Before I swore that I would be alone forevermore

Wow, look at you now, flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day
And I'm glad you feel the same
'Cause to stand up out in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

There is no reason to feel bad
But there are many seasons to feel bad, sad, mad
It's just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold
But I am here to help you with the load

Wow, look at you now, flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day
And I'm glad you feel the same
'Cause to stand up out in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

So now we're here and now is fine
So far away from there
And there is time, time, time
To plant new seeds and watch them grow
So there'll be flowers in the window when we go

Wow, look at us now, flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day
And I'm glad you feel the same
'Cause to stand up out in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

For a “that’s you telt” take on possessiveness, there’s Microdisney’s This Liberal Love:

One October, losing his job
He was drinking heavily
Living in his mother's house
Wild at weekends and sleeping all week

He believed he was right to ask for things
To be his and for him alone
And the world wasn't right with him unless
His wish was the world's command

Drunk in town one Saturday night
He met a tall, blonde older girl
In complicated bohemian clothes
She took him home though he was an oaf

Making love was his way of asking her
To be his and for him alone
Oh, though she would always act offhand
It appeared that she understood

With the weeks passing by
He began to feel the bad had gone
In her candlelit room, he had found himself
But what about her?

Then he noticed something amiss
Other men kept calling around
When, one night, he had his proof
He confronted his liberal love

He believed he was right to tell her
She was his and for him alone
Oh, and shrugging her shoulders, sad but calm
She informed him that he was wrong

"You don't own me," she sighed
"But I do, I must," he groaned
Then yelled
"Oh, what is this liberal love you gave? It's fast, it's wrong."
"You don't own me," she sighed
"But I do, I must," he groaned
Then yelled
"What is this liberal love you gave?"

Paul McCartney's pick for greatest song of all time. Who am I to disagree* . American djs played the B side ' Wouldn't it be nice ' because of God being in the title I heard?
But Waterloo Sunset for me

I don't think children were remotely in the horizon. It's an early song and the Who were still very young. Sometimes we can read too much into pop songs. And of course we are far more Puritan than the 60s generation. A song like Claire by Gilbert O Sullivan would never get airplay today although it is very innocent and wholesome.

Every time I hear the song Messy by Lola Young it makes me thing about the book 'In Control' by Jane Monckton Smith which describes coercive control in relationships and how it can end in murder.

Typical lyrics:
Cause I'm too messy, and then I'm too fucking clean
You told me, "Get a job", then you ask where the hell I've been
And I'm too perfect till I open my big mouth
I want to be me, is that not allowed?
And I'm too clever, and then I'm too fucking dumb
You hate it when I cry unless it's that time of the month
And I'm too perfect till I show you that I'm not
A thousand people I could be for you and you hate the fucking lot

'As Long As He Needs Me' from Oliver! is not great. One of the objectively worst relationships in literature and Bill Sykes is fully shown as the brute he was in the book, toned down for the film of course with sexy Ollie Reed , but it's still awful.

As long as he needs me
Oh, yes, he does need me
In spite of what you see
I'm sure that he needs me

Who else would love him still
When they've been used so ill
He knows I always will
As long as he needs me

I miss him so much when he is gone
But when he's near me
I don't let on
The way I feel inside
The love I have to hide
The hell! I've got my pride
As long as he needs me

He doesn't say the things he should
He acts the way he thinks he should
But all the same
I'll play this game
His way
As long as he needs me

I know where I must be
I'll cling on steadfastly
As long as he needs me
As long as life is long
I'll love him right or wrong
And somehow I'll be strong
As long as he needs me

If you are lonely
Then you will know
When someone needs you
You love them so
I won't betray his trust
Though people say I must
I've got to stay true, just
As long as he needs me.

Yes, and he kills you, nice kind Nancy.

Yes, several of us have picked up on this one.

Have you listened to Elvis Presley's Baby, Let's Play House (written by Arthur Gunter) which it was based on?

A huge thank you to @BernardBlacksMolluscs and everyone else for this great thread.

I'm on heart medication that can breach the blood/brain barrier and cause incredibly vivid dreams (sadly, also nightmares) I had a very clear one last night, a picture of watching First Great Love of 40 odd years ago stand at the bar in his grey suit (it was the 80s) while 'God Only Knows' was on the jukebox and realising that yes, I loved him.

Sad to relate, no happy ending there, but it was a nice memory.

The power of music, eh?

Good example - Fairytale of New York. Just so lovely and sad.

"I could have been someone", well, so could anyone
You took my dreams from me when I first found you
I kept them with me, babe, I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone, I've built my dreams around you

Also, absolutely love Nick Cave's Into My Arms. So beautiful.

I don't believe in an interventionist God
But I know, darling, that you do
But if I did, I would kneel down and ask him
Not to intervene when it came to you
Will not to touch a hair on your head
Leave you as you are
If he felt he had to direct you
Then direct you into my arms

Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms

And I don't believe in the existence of angels
But looking at you I wonder if that's true
But if I did, I would summon them together
And ask them to watch over you
Well, to each burn a candle for you
To make bright and clear your path
And to walk, like Christ, in grace and love
And guide you into my arms

Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms

But I believe in love
And I know that you do too
And I believe in some kind of path
That we can walk down, me and you
So keep your candles burning
Make her journey bright and pure
That she'll keep returning
Always and evermore

Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms

Paul McCartney is often criticised for his love songs but they are rather lovely: Silly Love Songs (a direct response to the criticism), Maybe I'm Amazed, Calico Skies, I Will, All My Loving, and Here, There and Everywhere.

"Knowing that love is to share;
Each one believing that love never dies,
Watching her and hoping I'm always there."

(https://www.thebeatles.com/here-there-and-everywhere)

I love For No One. Its such a perfect description of an end of a relationship.

Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all her words of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you
She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry
She no longer needs you

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

You want her, you need her
And yet you don't believe her
When she says her love is dead
You think she needs you

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

Following on from Hungry Heart..
I love Bruce Springsteen but some of his songs are questionable:

‘Hey little girl is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you on your own? I’ve got a bad desire. Oh oh oh I’m on fire ‘

So good.