Friends suggesting transphobia and misogyny both rooted in policing gender roles

[Pyjamatimenow]

Friend of mine has posted on her social media ( a very long detailed post) that basically trans rights are women’s rights and that what she sees as transphobia is akin to people who ‘punish’ women who don’t fit into gender stereotypes, don’t get married, don’t look ‘feminine’, don’t have children…Says she’s a feminist and defends the rights of trans women to live safely etc …whatever that means. Cis women mentioned several times. I don’t normally comment on these kinds of things on FB but struggling with this particular post! If I were to say something what would you say?

Her post wasn’t clear what she was advocating for. Many women in the group wouldn’t realise.

He probably thinks committing violence actually makes a person of either sex indisbutably a man.

After all, if he's going by what is more common to one sex than another, violence and sexual abuse is a far stronger correlation to being male than checks notes frameless glasses are to being female! So if you are going to go with latter as a meaningful indication of gender you are kind of obliged to accept the former as well.

Of course! I should have understood it sooner. I am a man because I like maths, and can reverse park like a ninja, have I got it correct?

In Australia they ruled that just wearing jeans and a white shirt makes someone a man. I had no idea I was a man until that point .

I wonder if she's even clear herself what she's advocating for. Like the workers of the world thing, the greengrocer doesn't know what the sign means he just knows he's supposed to display it to not get in trouble.

All I would say regards Bailey is that just because he turns up, spouting AI incoherent nonsense doesn't mean we have to play with him

No, I am not living authentically at all!!!!! Thank you for asking!!!!!!

I very much am NOT living on a yacht and I do NOT have a stable full of horses!!!!!!

Sometimes it's just the little things you know - like not having an EU passport any more because I 'don't meet the criteria', even though I really, really like to eat croissants.

And can I travel for free after 9.30 am in London even though I am neither a resident nor over the age of 60? A bit fat NO! I love the Piccadilly line, but nobody cares!

Where do I complain?? Is there an email address or phone number?

On the other hand I have the right to access education and the right to work and the right not to suffer unlawful discrimination because of my sex. These rights have been made possible both by legislation and by my free access to contraception and female specific health care.

I also pretty much wear what ever I want, and have the freedom to marry who ever I want regardless of their sex.

In social psychology, a stereotype is a generalized belief about a particular category of people.[2] It is an expectation that people might have about every person of a particular group. The type of expectation can vary; it can be, for example, an expectation about the group's personality, preferences, appearance or ability.

On the other hand I have the right to access education and the right to work and the right not to suffer unlawful discrimination because of my sex. These rights have been made possible both by legislation and by my free access to contraception and female specific health care.

Basic rights so you can live more authentically unlike in Victorian times?

You're almost there.

No, basic rights so I can access education and earn a living and don't starve.

Indeed, 'Trans women are women' is the mantra. And saying 'no, they are men' lands women in hot water. If the TRA stance was 'men who like pink things are men who like pink things' there would be no disagreement.

Men are murdered more than women in every country. Apart from men who identify as women - those men are murdered at a substantially lower rate than women, but retain the same level of male offending (and several times the level of sex offending than other men).

@thirdfiddle She should very well know. She works in job where she will encounter women harmed at the hands of men every day. I do feel that I need to defend myself here as dislike the implication I am somehow a bigot for asking.
I’ve just said that I supported Pride for years and was very happy when gay people won the right to marry eleven years ago. I was just asking to clarify her post but respected her right as a woman to say ‘no’ and hold boundaries that feel healthy for her.

This is such a basic point.

those men are murdered at a substantially lower rate than women, but retain the same level of male offending (and several times the level of sex offending than other men).

None of that is a fact given its impossible to make statistical conclusions from insignificant numbers.

May I suggest a rudimentary course in statistics?

Can you show us the statistics on the violence experienced by trans identified people as a direct result of their being trans? Because I don't believe it happens. There is the occasional very rare incident which is made much of, but it's nowhere near the scale of the systemic daily violence experienced by women for no other reason than that they are women.

I admit to rather enjoying Bailey/Howse's AI hallucinations/6th Form poetry/show-off 5 year old asked to explain hedge funds at a family party so the adults can laugh posts. Bonus points for regular use of italic and bold font, which is how my pensioner Mum would approach Microsoft Word if she ever learnt it.

Depends how you ask tho & if your posts are anything to go by that indicate mocking skepticism I suspect she reads you as a bad faith interlocutor.

This you?

"Says she’s a feminist and defends the rights of trans women to live safely etc …whatever that means. Cis women mentioned several times."

"It is very annoying. I feel sometimes that it’s like listening to people insisting that the world is flat. I actually can’t believe that so many women are behind this nonsense."

It is very difficult to draw anything from the statistics when the crimes of men are recorded as the crimes of women.

As you agree that noone has changed sex why on earth should male offending be chalked down as female offending?
Especially as we can all agree sex crimes and violence are very much 'male' coded.

And while we are at it why do you persist with 'cis'? You agree that men can't become women so why do you want us to be recorded as a sub category?

I think it's as much that it's very difficult to make any conclusions about a group that is not defined, but are you agreeing that there is a lack of evidence?

Diagram 2.6

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/hate-crime-england-and-wales-year-ending-march-2025/hate-crime-england-and-wales-year-ending-march-2025

There's no evidence where statistical conclusions can be made.

That sounds like an excellent response, well done.

"Transgender hate crimes fell by 11% over the last year, to 3,809 offences, the second consecutive annual fall."

People are most likely to be a victim of a hate crime because of their race or sexual orientation, so on this basis everyone should be using the ladies' loos.

This doesn't make sense.