Gender Critical guy - How can I help the cause?

[MyShyCat]

Hoping that the amazing women of Mumsnet can help me. I am firmly in the Gender Critical camp. I peaked many years ago after the birth of my daughter. I simply got to the point where I couldn't ignore the craziness that we were all being expected to accept. Amazing women on Youtube like Magdalen Berns, Posie Parker, Helen Joyce, Jo Bartosch, Arielle Scarcella and Kathleen Stock were able to perfectly articulate all the thoughts that were flying around my head.

Like many of us I have watched with horror as bit by bit the rights of women and girls have been systematically dismantled. There have undoubtedly been successes on our journey back to reality but Sall Grover's defeat the other day has really made me wobble.

My problem is I not sure what to do to help the cause. I feel like I should be more vocal or active - not exactly Bill Board Chris levels of "being out there" but I think I need to actually be a bit braver and make my voice heard.

If anyone has any suggestions as to how a 53 year-old father of a teenage girl can take a more active role in this fight, then I would love to hear more.

I'm not sure I can just carry on watching youtube clips and tutting anymore! All suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I WOULD RATHER BE RUDE THAN A "F**KING LIAR."

Hi MayFlyBee.

Like alot of people, I am politically homeless. I even didn't vote at the last local elections as I couldn't decide who was the best of a bad bunch. Originally from Northern Ireland, I switched off from a lot of politics long ago but I do remember the "Flag and Emblems Act" when I was a kid. It was designed to get rid of devisive imagery in Public Places and work places. (Think of the Red Hand of Ulster with U.V.F. written on it or the Tricolour with I.R.A. on it.) Unless you are of a certain age or come from the North then I'm not sure its easy to comprehend.

I wonder if this old Act needs to be brought back? I certainly do see many devisive "fleggs" being flown all over the UK at the moment.

That would mean that your stickers are also banned though?

Furthermore, I thought using the word “fleg” itself was problematic? My parents are a mixed marriage who moved to England in the 1960s and my dad finds that word really abhorrent. Its mocking of his accent the way it’s said.

I was warmed to read of your passion for truth in this deceptive time that we live in. The drive to enact change is probably a prompting of the Holy Spirit. How else can it be explained?
I think the Lord is calling you into a closer walk with Him. There is nothing quite so like the miracle of conception and each embryo being male or female at the DNA level.
I appreciate your gratitude towards mothers and looking to us for guidance, however there is a higher authority Who doesn't share human flaws. Let the Lord be your leader in this altruistic quest that your heart is pining for, would be my recommendation! It sounds like an exciting season in your life and time for seeking new faith-filled opportunities.

@MyShyCat having already been told that I find a man creepy when he just reacts to my posts, why did you do it again with my last post, to which you put a thumbs up?

Please do not just react to my posts. Please can you respond to me out in the open (or not, as the case may be) but please do not just react to my posts as I find it creepy and it unsettles me (as I have already said) and it makes me feel disrespected and rather bullied.

it also makes me feel sick that you have done this, after I said no. I’m a rape survivor and it’s really important to me that women’s no be respected. And you haven’t. Think about that.

I’m going to explain a bit more. Because I’ve just been sick after what you did and I’m upset and feel totally violated.

I see right through you and I did from the beginning. You want women fawning over you and giving you validation for being a great bloke and you want them doing your work for you but you’re one of the good guys arent you great.

except. You’re not.

I drew a boundary. I said don’t do that. No.

you hearted my post hoping that socialisation would mean I wouldn’t call you out. Heart. To someone who had disclosed a violent rape. A heart. Think about that. You sent a clear message with that. You’re a bloke. And you HEARTED the post of a rape victim.

but I did call you out.

so what did you do?

you thumbs upped a post.

having been told no. By a woman. You did it again. Ignored my no and carried on regardless.

that tells me exactly what sort of man you are, as if I couldn’t see it. But again, you thought i wouldnt call it out.

I see you.

and I hope everyone else can now too.

how dare you.

Why did you choose this gym- do you know women who go there who have asked you to start challenging this on their behalf? Is there actually anyone trans competing even? As a man I'm not sure why you wouldn't search the many causes women have already started that may need support rather than opting to start harassing the (probably female) organiser or a gym for a service you don't use, without knowing who uses it. I'd rather you support women who have flagged particular SSS that they feel aren't being respected rather than choosing your own to 'challenge'. I'm not comfortable with this new thing of GC men challenging women's events that haven't actually had someone trans demand to join and then the whole event is cancelled. I see where the intention is coming from but you're still just a man bothering women's events in the same way a trans person would be.

It sounds like you're more interested in being a personal saviour or hero rather quietly than supporting the groundwork women have been doing for years and if you only started realising women and feminism matters when your daughter was born you probably don't have much any of us need you to do as a leader, speaker organiser etc. if you want to help, donate and amplify women but there won't be a spotlight or round of applause for you.

None of us are asking men to safeguard us as far as I'm aware. He could have been calling out his fellow men for sexist attitudes, rape culture, and misogyny without being patronising. It'd be much more effective than acting like anyone (even his daughter) needs him to be some sort of patriarchal protector.

Hi Spannasaurus. Yes. I'm a member of a Teaching Union. Problem is that after almost 30 years teaching, I'm just about to up-sticks and leave the profession. The education landscape (and society) has changed so much in the last 3 decades. For lots of reasons many people find the job unsustainable and are seeking a better work/life balance elsewhere. I'm probably going to jump ship as well.

Interestingly, the last time I received ballot papers from my Union (i think it was Regional Secretary Elections), every single one of the 4 candidates were still in the first 5 years of their teaching career with really limited classroom experience but they all seemed to be members of at least 10 different LBGT, DEI, Equality and Social Justice committees!

Well said @Taztoy

Btw, it still amazes me when a man says the quiet part out loud ~ that he never really thought that women were important, were real people, whole people, with needs to do with their physical bodies until he had a daughter. Still, better late than never. I suppose.

Transwomen love women? Oh, pull the other one, really. Read 'Terf Is A Slur' and take shame!

Clearly singthing has struck a nerve and . . . . mask off!

@Irkeddancer👏👏👏

Ohhh it's getting hot in here!!! I keeping putting up my stickers and they keep being removed!!!

There's an additional TRA in the office that I don't know about.

This could get interesting!

Are there any men in your workplace that use the women’s toilets? If so the stickers aren’t particularly effective (especially if someone is peeling them off again). Speak to management or HR about getting updated policies.

Yes. There are men (trans women) who use the female toilets.

Feels like the stickers are very effective as they are clearly pissing someone off!

HR already contacted for their take on the Supreme Court clarification and the EHCR guidance ( As if any was needed in the first place.)

• “Not a hive mind” — correct, which is why policy addresses populations, not individuals. Composition fallacy.
• “Trans people have always existed” — gender non-conformity has; the modern category hasn’t. And even historically, the existence of a person is not the same as the existence of them as the opposite sex. A man who lived as a woman was still a biological male — the social performance doesn’t rewrite the underlying reality. Equivocation.
• “Trans women are women because they are women” — the conclusion is the premise. Circular reasoning.
• “Trans men exist” — Females who wish they were male exist. Certainly. Relevance? And notably, if sex-based categories matter for women’s protection, they matter also for men’s — a biological woman in a male prison or changing room or support group, faces the same logic in reverse. Non sequitur.
• “Funded by anti-abortion orgs” — even if true, it says nothing about the argument’s validity. Worth noting that gender-critical feminism in the UK has been largely grassroots, led by women with no connection to the US religious right — and that prominent advocates include lifelong left-wing feminists and lesbian activists. The funding smear doesn’t survive basic scrutiny. Genetic fallacy.
• “Regret rates are low” — methodology is contested and follow-up data thin. Premature closure.
• “Assaults are mostly by cis men” — true, and compatible with marginal risk increasing when screening is removed. False dichotomy.
• “Very few trans people do sport” — numbers don’t determine whether category integrity matters. Irrelevant statistic.
• “Being trans is normal” — statistically uncommon; “normal” is smuggling in a moral conclusion. Equivocation.

Did I miss the bit where @MyShyCat reflected and apologised for his behaviour towards me? Was that deleted or something? You know. His creepy male behaviour towards a woman.

Or not, of course.

Talk to other men every time a topic comes up that requires male support for women's issues. Most men just remain silent, presumably because they don't want to cause ripples in the male bonding pond water. Speaking up for what is right takes guts, but my instinct is that if one man vocally raises his head above the parapet, some others will probably say they agree. So its a good start.

Thanks GreenCandleWax.

The topic generally doesn't doesn't come up but when it does... people most definitely know my feelings!

@MyShyCat still waiting for you to engage with me in discussing your creepy behaviour? There’s like point in you doing performative stickering if you’re going to creep on women?

Thank you.

(Appreciating your nominative determinism too)

Sadly men don't seem to think misogyny counts when it's online, just as many don't feel they have to declare their sex either.