Inside the mind of a non-binary woman

[RogueFemale]

This article popped up on Apple news this morning. A first person account of a woman's experience of feeling she is 'trans' / 'nonbinary'.

It starts off with her saying: "When my date used my correct pronouns, I felt a sudden surge of happiness. ... It was then that I realised how little my identity had been affirmed in my previous relationships with cis men, and how this simple act, which should be the bare minimum, felt monumental."

It was a startling insight into how these people depend so much on someone else's validation and others saying the right words (in this woman's case, "they/them") to support their fragile sense of self. (It's also unclear how pronouns would come up during a one-to-one date).

Anyway, just sharing because it's an honest and revealing account of this woman's mental state.

She's with a trans-identifying-woman now, and seems happy. Well, sort of. "Now, every intimate movement encompasses our transness, whether it’s a ‘no-chest’ day, or a day I feel most comfortable being intimate with a binder on."

It seems like a very roundabout way of being two lesbians.

metro.co.uk/2026/05/12/sex-a-fellow-trans-person-put-off-cis-men-life-3-28322552/

It was the use of ‘sex realist’ that made me realise it was the same poster. He’s the only one that uses that term and I’m not sure if he thinks it’s slightly derogatory, but it just makes me think ‘durr, obviously sex is real’ 🙄

I think he thinks he's showing us up to be dull unimaginative types that can't see beyond the dull fact of sex to envision the more expansive less deterministic possibilities offered by gender identities.

Which is all well and good, but since female people nevertheless do still exist and do experience significant physical, social and economic consequences because of our sex, any expansive less deterministic identities based on gender have to be positioned as legally, socially and linguisticly alongside and separate from sex not treated like a replacement or overwriting of it.

Any trans-inclusive poster who does not accept that very simple and fair statement is outing themselves as someone who, regardless of what they may claim in terms of feminism and women's value, ultimately does not value female people enough to support our right to exist in our own right and under our own name.

I’d wondered if he was Butters, but he says not.

From trans Reddit:
TERFs believe there is some unalterable male, or female essence all people have, identical with what was between their legs at birth

In other words (I think) they’re saying we believe that sex is observed at birth & you can’t change it. How unreasonable of us.

No, I think they're still missing the point.

They seem to be saying we believe that everyone has a gender and it definitely aligns with their sex (which they helpfully point out is indicated by genitals observed at birth, so not 'randomly assigned' then 🙄)

They are so wedded to the gender dogma that they cannot conceive that some people, eg TERFs, just don't believe everyone has a gender identity.

I can't tell someone else that they don't have a gender identity. But I can say for sure that I don't, and I can't see what theirs is based on apart from stereotypes.

They also can't just represent things as they are because it might sound too reasonable. "TERFs believe that you're born a particular sex but you can do anything you want, have any personality, hobbies etc." - it sounds progressive.

I think as well there's an Orwellian element where even if they can conceive it they won't allow it to be said.

After reading this thread and others with a certain poster all I can say is that on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.