Do you avoid the bathroom if there is a transwoman?

[PeachyDaisy]

I’m going to an industry event next week and I know there will be a transwoman attending. Should I use the disabled bathroom to avoid an awkward encounter or just continue to use the women’s and hope not to run into them?

I'm sorry you were attacked. By men. That is horrific.

But you are male and we don't know that you're not an attacker. So please obey the law.

Everyone else's trauma must make way.

I don't use chatbots or AI.

...the pushback from women isn't funded by a 'conservative Christian conspiracy.' It is a grassroots movement of ordinary women, mothers, and workers who refuse to be gaslighted.

There is no 'pushback from women.' The 'grassroots movement' represents itself. Women generally support and include trans women as women, even in the UK.

Law evolves.

QED

You don't know a lot about me. There is no law to obey at this moment. There are legal conditions placed on environments and providers. I will make decisions on how I obey laws when they exist.

I think it’s quite a good idea to accept that if people want to use a women’s toilet, they will, and there’s not much you can do about it. You can however look at whatever that brings up for you.

Let's be clear, by people, you mean men.

'Accept' can mean two things. It can be the idea that whatever the laws and customs, some men will push boundaries and use spaces they shouldn't. The 'accept' here means how can we acknowledge that it will happen and prepare ourselves.

Another meaning is that we should just let men using womens spaces, and just get used to it. Accept that we have single sex spaces in name only.

Just cba to post the YouGov stats again. 😴

I am deeply sorry for the horrific trauma you have survived, and your fear of male violence is completely valid and rational.

So you are running away from the danger of the male sex, yet your solution is to force biological women—many of whom are survivors of those exact same crimes—to accept a biological male into their private safe havens?

You have every right to want safety from male violence, but you do not have the right to dismantle the safeguarding walls of biological women to achieve it. Smearing women as 'bigots' because they refuse to act as a buffer for the male sex isn't liberation—it is pure misogyny. The solution is a separate third space, not the erasure of female consent.

And here is the ultimate trap you are engineering for yourself: if women's private spaces are erased, venues will simply replace them with gender-neutral spaces. By pulling down our walls, you will end up forced right back into shared, mixed-sex facilities with the exact group of unmodified biological men you claim you are running away from.

So you will violate my consent (or rather, my lack thereof).

That tells me quite a lot about you.

I know quite enough to know that you are male, and have been inserting yourself into spaces intended to be for women. So that tells me a lot about you as a person. None of it good.

You can’t change other people’s behaviour, so stop wasting your precious energy. Someone will always be doing something you don’t like,

You can’t change other people’s behaviour

You're wrong there! Are you in the UK?

To claim there is no pushback from women is a complete denial of reality.

If there is no pushback, why did ordinary female staff have to fund and support Faye’s monumental tribunal victory against NHS England just to secure basic workplace privacy? Why did women have to crowd-fund hundreds of thousands of pounds to take cases all the way to the UK Supreme Court to force the law to clarify that 'sex' means biological sex?

The grassroots movement is women. It is mothers, workers, and trauma survivors who are entirely exhausted by having their boundaries dismissed as a 'culture war'.

You say 'law evolves.' Yes, it does—and right now in the UK, it is evolving to fix the dangerous mistakes of self-ID. The highest courts have firmly anchored the law back to material biology because they realised that an absolute boundary cannot function with loopholes.

Polls are polls. When real life is involved, normal people tend to support and include trans people within spaces. The Hampstead Pools are just one example of a community fighting against the efforts of a highly motivated minority.

I will continue to fight for women’s single sex spaces.

I will not accept men in women’s single sex spaces.

I will expect venues to obey the law.

I will ask that any man I find in a single sex space be removed.

the word is no. The class of men who won’t accept that are the ones I have a problem with.

To be quite frank, whatever that brings up for me is what it brings up. He already tried to kill me. He failed. I’m not giving up Beware the menopausal woman coz I have no fucks left to give. They did their worst and failed. They have no idea how strong they made me. My spine is made of titanium forged in the fires of hell. They won’t win.

Yes, I see a lot of women pushing back. Through bravery and the courts, not violence and public urination and vandalism.

Still can't see why we can tell the difference?

Sadly, individuals are not granted control over others beyond their personal space. My self-preservation has absolutely nothing to do with you or your desires. I'm sorry you feel that it does.

Laws are changing. That will change these men’s behaviours.

Yes, a community is fighting against a highly motivated minority. Just not the way round you mean.

So you are running away from the danger of the male sex, yet your solution is to force biological women—many of whom are survivors of those exact same crimes—to accept a biological male into their private safe havens?

You have absolutely no idea about my motivations. Sex realists have to stop making this shit up.

Nah, the vast majority of people really, really don't want men in spaces set aside for women and girls. You are out of touch with reality on many fronts.

You are entering a women’s single sex space and you are not a woman. You do not care that you are trampling over my boundaries. As I said. That tells me quite a lot about you. I have been zero threat to you. Your hyperbolic language as if I am going to murder you is offensive and laughable at the same time. It is because a man raped and tried to murder me that I require self preservation from men. And you are a man. The word is no. And the tide is turning.

I am sorry you were so badly treated by men. That merely shows that men are the problem.

the word is no. Women say no. I do not consent.

You can’t change other people’s behaviour, so stop wasting your precious energy. Someone will always be doing something you don’t like

If it were impossible to enforce single sex toilets, why do they exist? How have they existed for so long.

This wouldn't be the (the, not your) argument if the men who wanted to use the women's toilets were Millwall fans, or any other subset of men.

I've been in women's spaces and groups longer than some of the posters in this thread have been alive, probably. Sex realists don't care about reality. They care about ideologic purity.

Safeguarding is built on objective biology, not your personal motivations.

When a door says 'Women,' it isn't asking about your intentions, your feelings, or your motivation. It is an absolute perimeter designed to exclude the male sex to guarantee physical privacy, safety, and dignity for biological females.

You listed a horrific history of male violence to explain why you refuse to use men's facilities. That is an explicit admission that a male body creates a threat environment. Expecting biological women to override their natural safeguarding instincts and accept a male body into their private safe havens is a boundary violation, regardless of your personal intentions.

Your individual motivations do not rewrite human biology, they do not change your physical capacity, and they certainly do not give you a right to bypass female consent. The biology stands, and the boundary stays locked.