Do you avoid the bathroom if there is a transwoman?

[PeachyDaisy]

I’m going to an industry event next week and I know there will be a transwoman attending. Should I use the disabled bathroom to avoid an awkward encounter or just continue to use the women’s and hope not to run into them?

Exactly if he as a male is not a threat to women.. why can’t he share the loo with other males, in the male facilities?

Where I work I come across a lot of trans women using female spaces (fitting room, toilets, wanting help with a bra). I'm sure there are some who are just trying to live their best life, but personally I am yet to meet one who wasn't a self centred attention seeking main character whose needs trump the women around them.

At work I have to be professional, so I just treat them as if I have not noticed anything different about them. Out of work I just totally ignore them. If I see one in a toilet I refuse to engage with them if they start chatting to me, and just look through them.

And what do YOU mean by 'trans'

Quite aside from committing or not committing violent crime, any bloke (man, male person, transwoman) who deliberately goes into a space which he knows he is excluded from is not someone I want to share that space with.

As for your violent crime comment - most men don't commit violent or sexual crime but I don't want any of them in a female only space.

No I wouldn't.

Yes.

indeed not to mention that not one single person complies with every single stereotype society projects onto their sex

which is also why NB is load of bollocks

Quite. My DH is lovely and wouldn't hurt anyone. Should he just be allowed in all the women's spaces for that reason? Or only if he pops on a dress?

Oh right, so because you don’t like my terminology, you’re going to dispute all the credible research I have listed. Convenient that!

I asked my DP if he would ever consider using the women’s toilets when there were men’s available and he was horrified by the thought. He was fully aware that it could be extremely uncomfortable and intimidating for women, and that it’s likely some wouldn’t feel safe - and he wouldn’t put women through that. He said he’d be more likely to go in a bush outside. That’s what good men do. Then know not to put their own desires above a women’s privacy and safety. TW know most women don’t want them in their toilets. They just don’t care. That or they actively get a kick out of it.

Clearly you’ve never heard of intersectional feminism then

For one thing, I’d probably not notice and for another, it wouldn’t bother me anyway.

I don't give it a second thought. I know trans people who you wouldn't even contemplate were trans - they would utterly pass. I do know though of a colleague who was big - tall and solidly built - who was the possessor of a set of XX chromones and people erroneously mistook her for being transgender when she was the mother of two children and being treated for cervical cancer. The only thing I care about is whether people pee on the floor and I doubt it's the transgender demographic who do.

If I was feeling brave and safe to do so - I would make a fuss and call them out. Tell them they are a man and they need to leave immediately. Just as I would a man going in there (cos its the same thing).

If I wasnt feeling brave and safe I would walk straight out and go and report it to someone if I could.
Its just not on, and Im not condoning that shit. And I feel its not just about me, its about other women and girls who maybe don't feel strong enough to do or say anything. So Id make a stand for them as much as myself.

Hello do you have references please to your statement "Trans-identifying men are more, not less, likely to commit sexual offences than other men"?
Genuine/neutral question.

Yes in the same way I would wait a few minutes and go back if I saw any other man going in.

You’re correct. Additionally, plenty of men post here on a regular basis. This particular forum isn’t a female-only space, ironically.

Do you know anyone else there who shares your concerns or is a close friend? You could buddy up and go to the toilet in pairs so that you have backup if anything unpleasant happens.

@seanconneryseyebrow are you really sure you would know? I do know somebody who thinks they would know - they are a doctor with an undergraduate degree in anatomy. Are you similarly qualified or do you just sort of eye ball them and decide they are trans? What about rather butch lesbians? Do you assume they might be trans? I mean are all tall solidly built women a source of anxiety for you? Or is it the short hair that does it for you?

I understand why you're thinking this but I think in reality the chances of you both being in the loo at the same time are fairly small. I wouldn't overthink it or let it spoil the conference for you.

That's how much women are worried about men in women's spaces, and rightly so. You seem unable to comprehend this, think it's funny and seek to minimise the impact on women.
A man in a woman's space is a predator, however he is dressed, however nice he may seem.

I mean if it’s ok for a TW to be using the ladies toilets then what’s the point in having them labelled as such at all? Why don’t we just open them up to all biological men?

Oh wait …

This

If you are in Australia it's likely your industry is captured.

Unless this guy is using the men's toilets or a unisex option, if it were me I'd try to avoid using the female toilets at the same time as the trans identified male like a PP suggested. If I couldn't be sure I'd probably use the disabled toilet.

I would not use it. Because he's a man. End of.

Oh come off it! We can aways tell. You don't need to be a doctor.