Do you avoid the bathroom if there is a transwoman?

[PeachyDaisy]

I’m going to an industry event next week and I know there will be a transwoman attending. Should I use the disabled bathroom to avoid an awkward encounter or just continue to use the women’s and hope not to run into them?

This reminds me of when Ella from MAFS was on Celebs go Dating and kept telling everyone that "she" has a lovely vagina. I don't think I've ever said that to anyone ever. Especially not within 10 seconds of meeting them.

In case you don't know Ella is a postoperative TW.

Exactly. There are women who have been married to serial killers and paedophiles who had no idea. Men they actually LIVED with for years.
Anyone can be fooled.

This is about MALES in female spaces, spaces where women and girls are vulnerable.

Is there some reason you don't understand why we segregate toilets based on sex? Do you not realise why male and female toilets even exist, in the first place?

This is the 'no true scotsman fallacy' that will have you labelled 'transphobic'. With self-ID, every male is now welcome in women and girls spaces. They don't have to do anything but put on a dress.

And, how do you suppose we TELL THE DIFFERENCE between a transwoman that wants to hurt us and one that doesn't?

THAT IS WHY we keep ALL MALES out of female only spaces. All males. NO...EXCEPTION.

BUT.....HOW...DO....WE....TELLL???

Were these into men?:

@ThatBlackCat those poor delicate beings… clearly THE most vulnerable lambs!!

You've been asked repeatedly how we tell a 'genuine' transwoman for any other man, is there a reason you can't or won't answer, @Plasticdreams ?

The wives and children of John Wayne Gacey and Dennis Rader 'knew him' too.

You can never truly know or trust a male.

and it's just so sad that there is so much lack of understanding and care for our fellow humans.
it is so sad @Plasticdreams especially when other women join in with the “reframe your trauma” to rape victims and tell us how bigoted we are as they “know a lovely trans-woman”… the lack of care and understanding for females is awful!

It's so interesting that the one demographic of men that some women want to let in the women's is the one where each and every one is lying to get in.

So many men potentially vulnerable in mens toilets, but manage to cope. And yet the ones who say an outright, obvious lie -TWAW - some women say 'hurrah! Let them in!'.

Gay men are gay.
Disabled men are disabled.
Young men are young.
Elderly men are Elderly.
Trans identified men are ....women! Therefore let us in the women's!

Er No. Trans identified men are men.

Oh, and the TIMs I know (and have known for decades) use the men's without issue. So what does that tell you about your 'lovely friends' who insist on using the ladies?

Think on.

I don't want to share loos or changing rooms or wards or anywhere else where I am undressed and/or vulnerable with men.

In dresses or not.
Surgically mutilated or not.
”feminists” or not.

just stop it.

And every woman who doesn't support you in that should hang her head in shame, quite frankly.

I'm glad you feel safe with your friend.

I don't understand your point about your friend not possibly being a threat because your friend has no penis. People can be sexually assaulted (or raped, depending on the jurisdiction) with objects. I have been. It's a power trip for some perps. Others use it after they've raped you with their penises to keep the assault going.

Being raped with an object can be just as traumatic as being raped with a penis, sometimes more so, depending on the object(s) and how it's done. Glad you don't have personal experience with that but some of us do.

A former poster who is a transwoman and was kicked off of mumsnet threatened to rape a woman with a splintery rolling pin. I've heard men use similar threats IRL. It's a very violent and misogynistic threat.

To answer your question, no, I wouldn't avoid using the same bathroom.

I appreciate plenty of people on MN wouldn't agree with that decision, but that's my two pence.

So where should the OP go then, do you think? Given that she does feel uncomfortable?

Although i wouldn't usually consider it, in your situation i would definitely use the disabled toilet. Having a man pretending to be a woman in the female toilets is very disturbing, I've experienced this 3 times now and was very unhappy about it, but felt too vulnerable to say anything. This alone makes me hate TRAs. Men who do this are dangerous misogynists, they know full well it is illegal and unwanted but they do it anyway. Its a facet of rape culture imo

100% this, as if women don't already have to endlessly worry about staying safe. Just one more atrack on us.

Still a man. Still not allowed to use WOMEN'S toilets. The clue is in the name of the facility.

He

What the hell OP. Do you struggle with anxiety?

I can’t imagine getting this worked up so far in advance. Unless this is some kind of weird event where the toilets are open plan, won’t you be peeing in a cubicle anyway?

If you are really that anxious then yes, use the accessible loo.

Good for you..

but surely the reverse would also be true. Surely the male could just use a cubicle in the gents. Where he belongs.