Do you avoid the bathroom if there is a transwoman?

[PeachyDaisy]

I’m going to an industry event next week and I know there will be a transwoman attending. Should I use the disabled bathroom to avoid an awkward encounter or just continue to use the women’s and hope not to run into them?

What is your point for this thread?

You are not able to and should never expect to give consent for another woman or influence her consent based on your personal perspective.

Knowing one male person with a transgender identity is not going to be a good blanket assessment of all male people with transgender identities, just like I don't consider my husband as been a good basis for assessing the character of every other male person.

And whether or not that male person has a penis does not remove the risk of causing a huge range of other harms to female people, intentionally or unintentionally. Female people don't just need female single sex provisions to protect them from rape. There are, for instance, a huge number of other ways to abuse a female person.

He might not.

As a gay man, my son is also "into men". Plus hes bloody lovely. A nice, gentle soul and all the other crap people come out with when describing their TW friends. He can still stay the fuck out of women's spaces. Like he has since he was approximately 8 years old.

Are you staying at a Hotel where you have to share a bathroom,with a stranger?

Unless you are a woman you should not use the women’s bathroom

There is no venom. What there is is a recognition that they remain male - regardless of how"lovely" they are. Public facilities are arranged on the basis of known risks and issues and operate at the public level. It is not about individuals. Best channel your empathy for your friends into campaigning for dignified third spaces - not into dismantling the established boundaries of women and girls.

If I need the loo,I really do not care who might be in the cubicle next to the one I'm using.

When I need to go, I need to go. I do don't have the luxury of waiting, so I don't.

Do you book a room, and return to it every time you need the toilet, when you attend conferences in hotels? Or do you use the toilets blocks attached to the conference suite?

All the more reason to make those spaces safe, no? Because you need them.

But you might care if you'd had a negative experience in there or if you had looked at the stats that show mixed-sex spaces are much less safe for women, right? Or if you were aware of the increased incidents of voyeurism in cubicles, perhaps.

So you don’t worry whether you enter the men’s or the women’s toilets? Just head into one at random?

I’m sure these little girls do. https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/14674350/trans-paedo-supermarket-toilet-ruling/

Yeah cause no womens ever been sexually assaulted or harassed at work or a work event 🙄

Not especially,.I just need a working toilet. That'll do me.

That’s fine. But you still don’t get to consent for others.

So, you're happy with the increased risk to all women of making these spaces mixed, then? That's your right, I suppose. I imagine you'd change your tune if you knew someone who had been assaulted in a toilet and is now too scared to access the working toilet they need. There's at least one woman who posts on these boards who's in that situation right now.

You understand though that if you give one transwoman access you give them all access. You don’t get to give the nice safe ones access and can exclude the creepy as fuck rapey ones right?

So transwomen will be just fine with the working toilets in the men’s right?

I don't think many hotel have shared bathrooms any more - though have encountered it with B &Bs - though they tend to single occupacy guest toilets like many coffee shops have.

Many hotels do have conference centers as part of their complex.

Also know of several conference halls with no attached accomodation - often with multiple events - so could be either - though huge confernce venus we've been to have so may different toilets dotted around usually would be easy to avoid clashing with other delegates.

Sometimes when a hotel conference center delegates may stay on site - sometimes it's only day conference - and sometimes they may stay elsewhere.

If OP staying in a room then easier thing would be to pop up to hotel room bathroom and avoid the issue.

DH every year goes to a conference in a hotel but usually they stay elsewhere - cheaper rooms. In which case there are usually public toilets as part of the venue with conference bit in - and probably what OP worried about - as location is smaller.

Though DH one is city center so you can pop elsewhere - harder with confernce venue near us attached to a hotel - but DH and kids have done day events there but you are more trapped and facilites aren't as vast as in the huge confernce centers.

If I was stuck in small middle of nowhere conference venue with a collgeue who may be problematic round toilets access - well then it's harder to avoid if it is an issue. I expect most workplaces don't even factor it in either.

No, they're never expected to "just pee" with the men, but women are, of course! Make it make sense.

BUT YOU DON’T GET TO CHOOSE THE NICE ONES ONLY!!! You allow one access then you have to allow the creepy ones in too. With safeguarding you have to think of the worst case scenario.

Men should use the men's toilets, and yes, "transwomen" are men.

Transmen are women. It's transwomen who are men.

Edit: Sorry, I wrote that before you edited your post!

Nice ones would use the men’s toilets and not refer to themselves with any descriptor that included the word ‘woman’.