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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!

1000 replies

ErrolTheDragon · 01/05/2026 08:48

Welcome to any women who want the company of women!

Thats it really….ok so this place is staffed by gerbils with the occasional quokka or capybara but it functions like a friendly pub where you don’t have to know what’s going on all the time.
The drinks don’t intoxicate and the food is delicious yet healthy so please do come in.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
155
ErrolTheDragon · 14/05/2026 20:33

Welcome @DilettanteRedRagger! We don’t see enough of the quokkas nowadays so I’m glad you found one.
I think a few of us work(ed) in male-dominated fields so if there’s anything you want to thrash out or vent about go ahead.

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 14/05/2026 20:41

👻

I fucking hate midges.

That is all.

Except: Gwenda can't count. (Neither can I, I lost count after 60)

Gaynor, more lotion behind my left knee please.

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
Magpiecomplex · 14/05/2026 20:42

The pink looks very pretty against your elytra though, Boily.

Magpiecomplex · 14/05/2026 20:46

Sorry, I didn't realise I was hogging the quokkas. They're very keen!

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
Chickadeeinme · 14/05/2026 21:03

I just finished reading an article in The Atlantic about a movement (this side of the Atlantic of course - where else?) that wants to repeal the 19th Amendment that gave women the vote, as well as making birth control as well as abortion illegal. It is so good to come in here where the absurdity of those positions and the skill, education and values of all the women in here are so obvious.

MyrtleLion · 14/05/2026 21:04

DilettanteRedRagger · 14/05/2026 20:29

This is the path I’m on right now. Thanks so much for sharing and giving me hope I’ll be able to manage even when it’s a lot; same area, and dealing with seeking investment right now, so my tendency towards anxiety is just through the roof. Asking insanely rich people to risk their money shouldn’t be this hard! 😂 (Or maybe it should?! Dunno.)

I had to leave the hall and sit and read my phone to re-regulate. Two years ago I would not have needed to do that. But it takes time to rebuild resilience.

With respect to asking rich people to "risk" their money, that's not how they see it.

Some of it might be a tax write off.
Some of it may consider it to be a trifling amount they can afford to lose and they wouldn't frame it like that. They would say I might not get my investment back.
Some of it might be because they like you.
Some of it might be because they like your product or company.
Some of it might be a gamble.
Some of it might be a laugh.
Some of it might be polishing their image.

You won't know what their motivation is to invest or not. Believe them the first time. But if they don't return calls or emails after your second follow up, let them chase you. So you pitch, you follow up, you follow up once more. Then you wait for them.

But I get that asking for business can be stressful if you have rejection sensitivity disorder which often accompanies ADHD and is wrongly labelled anxiety.

There are three elements to business:

  • doing the business
  • running the business
  • getting the business.

You'll be good at two of them. Hire someone to do the third thing. I can't get the business but can do the other two. So I hire salespeople.

Keep going.

And a huge welcome to the Bluestocking Women's Pub. More Gosie's adventures will follow.

MyrtleLion · 14/05/2026 21:09

Also it's easy until it isn't. So if it feels difficult, try something else.

They're not buying your product or service, they're buying you or your people. But that doesn't mean you owe them yourself.

MyrtleLion · 14/05/2026 21:09

Yay! Boily is back!

MyrtleLion · 14/05/2026 21:16

Hedgehog waited until the lock gates had closed properly behind them before speaking.
Not dramatically. Just practically, as though discussing water levels or stove fuel.
The narrowboat moved slowly forward under a cold midnight sky, engine low and steady. Gosie sat near the stern with the windlass beside her, trying not to look too pleased with herself.
Hedgehog glanced at her.
“You’ve been looking at the network backwards,” she said.
That got Gosie’s attention immediately.
“The artefact fragments aren’t the main cargo.”
Silence.
Then:
“The seed trade is.”

Hedgehog explained.
For years, extremely wealthy gerbils across Europe have paid absurd sums for rare heritage seeds:

  • monastery sunflower strains
  • alpine pumpkin kernels
  • preserved pre-war cultivars
  • things impossible to grow commercially anymore
The canal and marina routes evolved around that trade first. Small shipments. Trusted couriers. Distributed storage. Quiet movement through infrastructure nobody watches carefully. The luxury seed market built the system. Then someone else started using it.

At first it was harmless enough:

  • books
  • manuscripts
  • old maps
  • art pieces moved discreetly between private collectors
But over the last two years, one faction inside the network became obsessed with a specific project. Reconstructing the artefact. Not selling it. Completing it.

Gosie asked the obvious question.
“Why?”
Hedgehog looked genuinely irritated.
“Because they think it proves something.”
“What?”
“That history isn’t linear.”

Now Gosie was completely still.

Hedgehog continued.
The fragments aren’t random pieces of Renaissance art.
Together, they form:

  • images
  • annotations
  • mathematical relationships
  • timing records
  • astronomical references
A distributed intellectual machine. One built collaboratively across generations by women who believed knowledge could survive censorship if fragmented and hidden inside ordinary cultural exchange.

“And they think it works?” Gosie asked quietly.
Hedgehog gave her a very long look.
Then:
“They already tested part of it.”

That landed hard.
Because suddenly:

  • Android’s impossible painting
  • the anticipatory corrections
  • the timing obsession
  • the environmental signalling
  • the multilingual annotations
…all aligned.

“The adversary?” Gosie asked.
Hedgehog shook her head.
“Not one adversary.”
Then she named them.
“The Reconstructionists.”

And finally — finally — she gave Gosie the real reason she’d been forced through twenty-four hours of locks, ropes, cooking and canal routine before this conversation happened.
“Because if you can’t understand how distributed systems stay stable under pressure,” Hedgehog said, “you’ll never understand what they’re actually building.”
The narrowboat continued forward through the dark water.
And for the first time since this began, Gosie realised the stakes might genuinely be much larger than smuggling.

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
FuzzyPuffling · 14/05/2026 21:19

DilettanteRedRagger · 14/05/2026 20:29

This is the path I’m on right now. Thanks so much for sharing and giving me hope I’ll be able to manage even when it’s a lot; same area, and dealing with seeking investment right now, so my tendency towards anxiety is just through the roof. Asking insanely rich people to risk their money shouldn’t be this hard! 😂 (Or maybe it should?! Dunno.)

I did this as a large part of my job. Some insanely rich people are fab, others are right tightwads! Twas ever thus. Good luck!

PS Thank you for bringing another quokka. You can never have too many.

DilettanteRedRagger · 14/05/2026 21:21

@MyrtleLion Thank you so, so much. What you’re saying is just incredibly validating, and useful; I’m already following a lot of the advice and looking to integrate the rest (I may put it in a note on my phone!) I always “forget” that I’m offering them value; they can choose to accept it or walk away, but if my idea is good enough, I will achieve investment. It feels like there are so many woman-based feelings about being “good enough” as a woman and a human I’ve come a very, very long way since I was young, but man, learning not to feel misplaced guilt feels like a part-time job sometimes. And yes, definitely some rejection sensitivity; not as bad as some ADHD people I know, as I recognize it’s trauma-based and I’m making progress on it in therapy.

@ErrolTheDragon Just the basic vent about the thing every one of us experiences, I’m sure 😂 i.e. Why the fuck do men all assume they have magical extra brainpower from a little magic being who lives in their penis??? No, my brethren in Christ 😆, your “genius” is the result of outsourcing so much basic and life admin to women that you have time to think about abstract shit and run a company. You basically outsourced the survival of humanity to your competitive opposites, but suuuuuuure that we’re the “dumb, emotional” ones.

Also, if anyone knows JKR personally and can send her my pitch deck for feedback, let me know 🤣 😂 🤣 In seriousness though, I feel sometimes like I’m trying to get champagne funding when I’m just Aldi sparkling wine. I know it’s imposter syndrome, but how did/do you ladies deal with it? @MyrtleLion Would love your take on it if you have time.

AuntieMsDamsonCrumble · 14/05/2026 21:22

Boiledbeetle · 14/05/2026 20:41

👻

I fucking hate midges.

That is all.

Except: Gwenda can't count. (Neither can I, I lost count after 60)

Gaynor, more lotion behind my left knee please.

Commiserations on your midge bites Beetle, they're a nightmare. I thought it was a bit early for them yet - did you gatecrash a midge convention?

AuntieMsDamsonCrumble · 14/05/2026 21:23

Welcome @DilettanteRedRagger Take a break from the hurly-burly of life. There are various support animals in the Bluestocking, including red pandas and camels as well as the quokkas. Just ask a passing gerbil for any you would like.

Myrtle - it's good to hear that you are getting your mojo back. I know from my own experience that you often don't realise how poorly you have been until you suddenly start to feel your old self again Flowers

A large hot chocolate please gerbils (if Magpie can spare a mug - I think her need is greater than mine tonight) and a Baileys on the side. I'll just sit here quietly and meander through the latest 'adventures of Gosie'😁.

Magpiecomplex · 14/05/2026 21:32

Help yourself to hot chocolate, Damson, I'm about to go to bed!

ErrolTheDragon · 14/05/2026 21:47

JKR is the epitome of sanely, rather than insanely wealthy! It’d be nice if she was a denizen of the Bluestocking disguised as a - well, anything she wanted, wouldn’t it.

OP posts:
DilettanteRedRagger · 14/05/2026 22:01

ErrolTheDragon · 14/05/2026 21:47

JKR is the epitome of sanely, rather than insanely wealthy! It’d be nice if she was a denizen of the Bluestocking disguised as a - well, anything she wanted, wouldn’t it.

happy harry potter GIF by BAFTA

Exactly!!! One can dream, can’t they! I don’t even know her through five degrees of separation, but I’d like to believe she’d appreciate the vibe and gerbil-sharing here! And yes, exactly - she’s the definition of sanely wealthy, in comparison to some of these “insanely wealthy” male billionaires who have the emotional intelligence and self-understanding of a garden pea 😂 They do NOTHING to benefit society with their billions.

MarieDeGournay · 14/05/2026 22:08

I've had a 'busy' day - other people's busy-ness, not mine, but there's something very tiring about having people in your house making lots of noise.
But they did a lovely job, and at the end of the day's work, swept and hoovered up every trace of sawdust or shavings.

And while I was busy watching other people being busy - two posts from Edith, one of them wonderfully descriptive, the other revealing a feature of Batshit: Batshit will never say 'Look! a squirrel! - I may have calumniated her by suggesting that in the past. She may say 'Smell! a squirrel!', and if I'd known in time for her birthday on 1st May, I'd have bought her a fancybottle of Eau d'ÉcureuilGrin

And there was a lovely post from Myrtle, newly re-mojo-ed.

And first the good news: Boily's back...Smile
Now the bad news: Boily's back is covered in midge-bites and Calamine lotion🙁
And a new Stockinger: DilettanteRedRagger who loves quokkas - welcome, this is definitely the place for you! You'll get to know our other friends: the gerbils of course, you'll already have met at least one of them bringing you your drink of choice - Rosy the Red Panda who gives hugs to those in need of hugs; Capability Capybara and her team who do the maintenance on the building; a Giant Wombat who does the accounts and is a ghost - although I may be wrong there!
There's a puggle somewhere in the garden, and I have a vague recollection of tree kangaroos taking up residence in the grounds of the Bluestocking, but some of the animals are more shy and retiring than the gregarious gerbils.

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
MyrtleLion · 14/05/2026 22:11

MarieDeGournay · 14/05/2026 22:08

I've had a 'busy' day - other people's busy-ness, not mine, but there's something very tiring about having people in your house making lots of noise.
But they did a lovely job, and at the end of the day's work, swept and hoovered up every trace of sawdust or shavings.

And while I was busy watching other people being busy - two posts from Edith, one of them wonderfully descriptive, the other revealing a feature of Batshit: Batshit will never say 'Look! a squirrel! - I may have calumniated her by suggesting that in the past. She may say 'Smell! a squirrel!', and if I'd known in time for her birthday on 1st May, I'd have bought her a fancybottle of Eau d'ÉcureuilGrin

And there was a lovely post from Myrtle, newly re-mojo-ed.

And first the good news: Boily's back...Smile
Now the bad news: Boily's back is covered in midge-bites and Calamine lotion🙁
And a new Stockinger: DilettanteRedRagger who loves quokkas - welcome, this is definitely the place for you! You'll get to know our other friends: the gerbils of course, you'll already have met at least one of them bringing you your drink of choice - Rosy the Red Panda who gives hugs to those in need of hugs; Capability Capybara and her team who do the maintenance on the building; a Giant Wombat who does the accounts and is a ghost - although I may be wrong there!
There's a puggle somewhere in the garden, and I have a vague recollection of tree kangaroos taking up residence in the grounds of the Bluestocking, but some of the animals are more shy and retiring than the gregarious gerbils.

You always give such a lovely welcome to our new friends, @MarieDeGournay.

I also approve of the new fashion for tidying up from the people we entrust with our homes. Long may it continue!

MyrtleLion · 14/05/2026 22:20

DilettanteRedRagger · 14/05/2026 21:21

@MyrtleLion Thank you so, so much. What you’re saying is just incredibly validating, and useful; I’m already following a lot of the advice and looking to integrate the rest (I may put it in a note on my phone!) I always “forget” that I’m offering them value; they can choose to accept it or walk away, but if my idea is good enough, I will achieve investment. It feels like there are so many woman-based feelings about being “good enough” as a woman and a human I’ve come a very, very long way since I was young, but man, learning not to feel misplaced guilt feels like a part-time job sometimes. And yes, definitely some rejection sensitivity; not as bad as some ADHD people I know, as I recognize it’s trauma-based and I’m making progress on it in therapy.

@ErrolTheDragon Just the basic vent about the thing every one of us experiences, I’m sure 😂 i.e. Why the fuck do men all assume they have magical extra brainpower from a little magic being who lives in their penis??? No, my brethren in Christ 😆, your “genius” is the result of outsourcing so much basic and life admin to women that you have time to think about abstract shit and run a company. You basically outsourced the survival of humanity to your competitive opposites, but suuuuuuure that we’re the “dumb, emotional” ones.

Also, if anyone knows JKR personally and can send her my pitch deck for feedback, let me know 🤣 😂 🤣 In seriousness though, I feel sometimes like I’m trying to get champagne funding when I’m just Aldi sparkling wine. I know it’s imposter syndrome, but how did/do you ladies deal with it? @MyrtleLion Would love your take on it if you have time.

So much to love in your post!

Why the fuck do men all assume they have magical extra brainpower from a little magic being who lives in their penis???
Why indeed! And then you answer perfectly!

your “genius” is the result of outsourcing so much basic and life admin to women that you have time to think about abstract shit and run a company. You basically outsourced the survival of humanity to your competitive opposites, but suuuuuuure that we’re the “dumb, emotional” ones.
Think how much more we would achieve if we all had "wives".

I feel sometimes like I’m trying to get champagne funding when I’m just Aldi sparkling wine. I know it’s imposter syndrome, but how did/do you ladies deal with it? @MyrtleLion Would love your take on it if you have time.
I give presentations on this.

  1. Most people with imposter syndrome are more than capable.
  2. People without imposter syndrome are dangerous.
  3. In early tribes the clever people learned to question their abilities to ensure they brought the rest of the tribe with them.
  4. People without imposter syndrome are important to attempt new things. If we all questioned our expertise we'd never leave the campfire. We need dumb people to say let's see what's over the hill anyway.
  5. Clever people advocate caution and uncertainty because otherwise the stupid people will walk everyone off a cliff.
  6. This ensures community cohesion.

Your caution is sensible. You just need someone to say, fuck it, let's do it anyway.

DilettanteRedRagger · 14/05/2026 22:20
baby animal wombat GIF

I need a giant wombat to do my accounts! (gif for anyone who hasn’t seen a wombat run). Is he accepting new clients @MarieDeGournay ???

And thank you so much for the warm welcome. Absolutely love the support animals as portrayed by you and @AuntieMsDamsonCrumble (thank you!). I myself have a support platypus; I know he’s a monotreme, but hopefully he’ll fit right in with the Australian marsupial support animals.

ErrolTheDragon · 14/05/2026 22:29

DilettanteRedRagger · 14/05/2026 22:20

I need a giant wombat to do my accounts! (gif for anyone who hasn’t seen a wombat run). Is he accepting new clients @MarieDeGournay ???

And thank you so much for the warm welcome. Absolutely love the support animals as portrayed by you and @AuntieMsDamsonCrumble (thank you!). I myself have a support platypus; I know he’s a monotreme, but hopefully he’ll fit right in with the Australian marsupial support animals.

Giant wombat is a she, as are all the other Bluestocking animals nowadays except for Colin the Dachshund because he was here before the threat of proliferation of gerbils banished all other males to join the menfolk in The Staunch Ally down the road.

OP posts:
MarieDeGournay · 14/05/2026 22:30

MyrtleLion · 14/05/2026 22:11

You always give such a lovely welcome to our new friends, @MarieDeGournay.

I also approve of the new fashion for tidying up from the people we entrust with our homes. Long may it continue!

Thank you Myrtle!
I was made feel very welcome, and I know what a big deal that isSmile
I credit Eastern European tradesmen with this innovation of cleaning up meticulously after a job; also bringing a flask and lunch.
I remember when endless cuppas, bikkies and maybe even 'a sangwitch' for lunch were normal, and cleaning up is wimmin work, isnt' it?Grin

Then along came 'The New Irish' as they are called, with their strange furrin ways of packed lunches and tidying up after themselves...

My 'team' today were all Irish, so I made them tea but they had their own 'sangwitches', and they tided up - multiculturalism at work😄

The youngest of them didn't have sangwiches, he had pasta and roast vegetables in a tupperware box, if ye don't be mindin'... very chi-chi!

WearyAuldWumman · 14/05/2026 22:37

Have no idea whether I'll manage, but I've bitten the bullet and have ordered a pair of running shoes.

The older chap who runs one of the Senior Flex classes at the Leisure Centre is trying to get a beginners' running class off the ground. I'm hoping to get a pair of good knee supports and I now appear to have my orthotics sorted out, so I live in hope.

I got up to 7.4 kph on the treadmill yesterday and actually jogged without pain for a couple of minutes. Worst case scenario, I'll use them as walking shoes.

ErrolTheDragon · 14/05/2026 22:40

It’s slightly embarrassing when a tradesman leaves your house a bit cleaner than it was beforehand.

We actually have more than one puggle - there’s the baby platypus, but in a recent picture on this thread there was one of the canine variety ie a pug-beagle cross. I’m not sure anyone else noticed her except me and Colin. He’s pleased to have a friend and is of course a perfect gentleman.

OP posts:
MarieDeGournay · 14/05/2026 22:43

DilettanteRedRagger · 14/05/2026 22:20

I need a giant wombat to do my accounts! (gif for anyone who hasn’t seen a wombat run). Is he accepting new clients @MarieDeGournay ???

And thank you so much for the warm welcome. Absolutely love the support animals as portrayed by you and @AuntieMsDamsonCrumble (thank you!). I myself have a support platypus; I know he’s a monotreme, but hopefully he’ll fit right in with the Australian marsupial support animals.

I've never seen a wombat run, and it was worth waiting for, thank youSmile
I'm afraid I'm a bit hazy about Giant Wombat - who is a bit hazy herself, being a ghost - I don't even know if she has a name, nor do I know her availability to do your accounts; I'm sure she'll do her best to squeeze you inGrin
Your support platypus will get on well with the puggle in the garden - they may even be related!

Male animals have a lovely time together in the garden, Colin The Dachshund enjoys being 'Mine Host' in his favourite corner of the garden, entertaining the other chaps and plying them with a constant supply of cocktail sausages nicked from the kitchen.

[Actually, the gerbils know he takes them, in fact they order extra just for him!]

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
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