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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!

1000 replies

ErrolTheDragon · 01/05/2026 08:48

Welcome to any women who want the company of women!

Thats it really….ok so this place is staffed by gerbils with the occasional quokka or capybara but it functions like a friendly pub where you don’t have to know what’s going on all the time.
The drinks don’t intoxicate and the food is delicious yet healthy so please do come in.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
155
AngleofRepose · 08/05/2026 07:02

Good morning! I did read the latest about the rehearsals late last night before I collapsed into bed. Yes, the lack of a proper health and safety assessment is worrying, especially the part about the chimney-measuring (thanks to Marie for the visual depiction! now that's just not wise, is it ??) Methinks the enthusiasm for the event is getting well ahead of the gerbils' better judgement... Well, we've had similar (sky diving into the Bluestocking, anyone?) so we'll just have to trust that they know what they're doing. I do wish a capybara could at least produce a checklist or some such.

Sorry to hear you didn't get the job, Magpie. It may be that the commute would have eventually killed off any enjoyment for the job anyway, but it's always preferable to be able to turn down the offer, isn't it?

Long day yesterday and didn't sleep again last night, so gerbils, a strong mug of hot chocolate please, and a croissant. I'm so nearly done with looking at houses! They all seem to blend together after a while.

Nevermind. Errol's canal picture has cheered me up!

MarieDeGournay · 08/05/2026 08:51

Sorry about the lack of sleep, Angle, the Sleep and Dream Gerbils must have caught this sloppiness that seems to be going around😠

I hope they do better tonight. I'll try to remember to post a picture at bedtime of what they are supposed to do - hover magically and un-aerodynamically over your bed on unlikely gossamer wings, and sprinkle sleep and dream dust over you.

That might make them buck up their ideas😄

I agree that Errol's canal story and photo were lovely - I don't have access to places like that, so Edith's and Errol's and others beautiful descriptions are goldWink

MyrtleLion · 08/05/2026 09:01

MarieDeGournay · 08/05/2026 00:22

Myrtle, I only have to see that there is another Gerbil Performance Post to start smiling, even before I read it😂

I have to say, though, the capybaras are coming across as a bit lax on health and safety - 'load-bearing-ish' and 'define safely' are not the kind of thing we've come to expect from them. Where is Capability? Is she on holidays or something? She needs to get back pronto and Impose Standards!

several gerbils were seen measuring the pub chimney
They were indeed - photographic evidence attached😄

Edited

I share your concerns. But then the gerbils provide gin or usher Rosie in and I forget what I was worried about...

AuntieMsDamsonCrumble · 08/05/2026 09:29

I was a bit disappointed to find the croquembouche was still only in recipe form and had not been made due to all the gerbils being involved in rehearsals, so I had a Tunnocks teacake instead.

Perhaps they need Grunhilde, with her ordnung clipboard to keep things on track.🤔

MyrtleLion · 08/05/2026 11:47

Tension in the Bluestocking has reached the very specific pitch achieved only when:

  • opening night is hours away,
  • nobody has slept,
  • and Clara the Capybara has started carrying a clipboard.
Which she only does in serious situations.

Current Status: Moulin Gerbil!
Friday morning
The pub appears calm.
This is deception.
Behind the curtains:

  • twelve gerbils are sewing sequins directly onto scenery,
  • Gloria is whispering affirmations to the fog machine,
  • and someone has definitely released doves prematurely.
Again.

Health & Safety Situation
Clara has now conducted:

  • three structural inspections,
  • two risk assessments,
  • and one intervention described officially as:
  • “firm but loving.”
The Chimney Initially alarming. It transpired the gerbils intended to use it for:
  • smoke effects,
  • dramatic silhouette reveals,
  • and “ascending emotional symbolism.”
Clara has banned:
  • indoor fireworks,
  • chandelier jousting,
  • and “surprise aerial accordion deployment.”
There was resistance. Particularly from Gubbins. But the chimney has now been reinforced by the capybaras using:
  • sensible engineering,
  • mysterious underground buttressing,
  • and tea.

The Trapeze
Gwendolyn remains fearless.
Clara less so.
After discovering the original rigging was attached partly to:

  • two hooks,
  • a decorative beam,
  • and “good intentions,”
she halted rehearsals entirely. The capybaras then spent six furious hours rebuilding the support structure while muttering things like: “Load distribution matters, Charmian.” Current assessment:
  • safe,
  • stable,
  • emotionally resonant.
Gwendolyn disappointed to learn she may no longer perform “the triple yearning spiral.”

The Croquembouche Question
Ah.
Well.
Technically it exists.
Emotionally it may be classified as:

  • architecture,
  • weather,
  • or a minor monarchy.
It was finally revealed from under a velvet cloth. Witnesses report:
  • gasping,
  • spontaneous applause,
  • and one fainting guinea pig.
The structure appears to include:
  • spun sugar,
  • caramel,
  • edible glitter,
  • tiny illuminated cream puffs,
  • and at least one functioning staircase.
Nobody knows how. The gerbils insist: “It serves narrative purpose.” Nobody has dared challenge this.

Gloria
Operating entirely on:

  • adrenaline,
  • gin,
  • and artistic conviction.
Has changed the finale four times today. Current version allegedly includes:
  • moonlight,
  • harmonies,
  • rotating scenery,
  • and “controlled transcendence.”
Clara demanded clarification on the last point. Gloria replied: “No.”

Colin
Has accidentally become central to Act I.
The audience preview yesterday reacted so strongly to him trotting across the stage in a tiny velvet cravat that the gerbils expanded the role immediately.
He now has:

  • entrance music,
  • sausage-based motivation,
  • and a curtain call.
Honestly he’s handling fame well.

Most Reassuring Development
About twenty minutes ago, the noise backstage abruptly changed.
Less panic.
More focus.
The sewing slowed.
The orchestra settled.
Someone began softly singing backstage and the others joined in one by one.
Even Gubbins stopped hitting things experimentally.
For the first time all week, the production sounded… ready.
Which is fortunate.
Because the doors open in six hours.

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
SidewaysOtter · 08/05/2026 11:55

Can the gerbils break from the rehearsals long enough to rustle up a strong coffee? I was awake at 4.30am for unknown reasons but possibly related to the people over the way who let their dog out to bark at all hours of the night.

EmpressaurusKitty · 08/05/2026 12:04

I don’t suppose the gerbils’ preparations had anything to do with the rather loud helicopter noises round here mid-morning?

MarieDeGournay · 08/05/2026 12:05

I'm so relieved Clara Capybara got a grip on things, and re-asserted the importance of H&S in a 'loving but firm way'.
Way to go, Clara!

I too was thinking about putting an emergency all in to Grunhilde, Damson, it was getting a bit borderline...
perhaps she could come along anyway. Spear, shield and winged helmet should be left behind for this production, but can be used later when the gerbils stage The Rinse Cycle😁

ifIwerenotanandroid · 08/05/2026 12:29

I haven't even tried to catch up yet (I got caught in the Error 400 thing), but here's something I just saw on X which made me think of the Bluey. It said hawthorn - May - is the only UK plant named after a month. Obviously, the first thing I did was try to think of another one 😜 & I remembered that florists call Michaelmas Daisies 'September'. Any others?

Also, I thought of Marie when I read the other day that 'cliche' is the sound of a word being dropped into place in typesetting, & some words were so common that they were kept as whole words & not made up of individual letters. And that's where cliche comes from as we understand it.

MarieDeGournay · 08/05/2026 12:32

ifIwerenotanandroid · 08/05/2026 12:29

I haven't even tried to catch up yet (I got caught in the Error 400 thing), but here's something I just saw on X which made me think of the Bluey. It said hawthorn - May - is the only UK plant named after a month. Obviously, the first thing I did was try to think of another one 😜 & I remembered that florists call Michaelmas Daisies 'September'. Any others?

Also, I thought of Marie when I read the other day that 'cliche' is the sound of a word being dropped into place in typesetting, & some words were so common that they were kept as whole words & not made up of individual letters. And that's where cliche comes from as we understand it.

That is indeed exactly the kind of thing that I love to learn, thank you Android💙

Igneococcus · 08/05/2026 12:37

Sedum sieboldii is called Oktoberli in German (or at least by my Oma) because it flowers in autumn.

AuntieMsDamsonCrumble · 08/05/2026 12:38

Just been watching an aerial brawl between a herring gull and several magpies. The magpies appear to be winning. A definite vibe of ' this ain't your turf, bro' going on.

DeanElderberry · 08/05/2026 12:48

Snowdrops are Fair Maids of February

The beautiful picture and evocative description of the canal bank reminded me of another of those poems we learned at school, back when the magnificent anthology Soundings edited by Augustine Martin was our standard textbook.

Lines Written on a Seat on the Grand Canal, Dublin

by Patrick Kavanagh

O commemorate me where there is water,
Canal water, preferably, so stilly
Greeny at the heart of summer. Brother
Commemorate me thus beautifully
Where by a lock niagarously roars
The falls for those who sit in the tremendous silence
Of mid-July. No one will speak in prose
Who finds his way to these Parnassian islands.
A swan goes by head low with many apologies,
Fantastic light looks through the eyes of bridges -
And look! a barge comes bringing from Athy
And other far-flung towns mythologies.
O commemorate me with no hero-courageous
Tomb - just a canal-bank seat for the passer-by.

AngleofRepose · 08/05/2026 13:22

EmpressaurusKitty · 08/05/2026 12:04

I don’t suppose the gerbils’ preparations had anything to do with the rather loud helicopter noises round here mid-morning?

I believe I heard someone suggest yesterday that a helicopter might be useful, but I imagine both Gloria and Clara think not (for very different reasons). I wouldn't put it past Glenda to try to sneak one in, though!

AngleofRepose · 08/05/2026 13:26

AuntieMsDamsonCrumble · 08/05/2026 12:38

Just been watching an aerial brawl between a herring gull and several magpies. The magpies appear to be winning. A definite vibe of ' this ain't your turf, bro' going on.

Yes, I have seen more magpies this spring than any other I can remember. Quite confident as well, more so than usual. I wonder if they are starting to fill a "gap" somewhere in the local ecosystem?

ps. and fewer seagulls, although I am quite far inland

WearyAuldWumman · 08/05/2026 13:30

@MyrtleLion

  • and a terrifying belief that things become technically feasible if accompanied by enough accordions.

This is actually true. I have four accordions in this house: two piano and two Continental button. The latter two were DH's. He'd given one of them to his best friend (who was then living with DH's ex) but it was returned to the house.

Methinks the ex made her then partner return it for some strange reason.

I keep telling myself that I'll learn to play a button box, but it hasn't quite happened yet. I have a flying start, in that the left hand on the button box is exactly the same as the left hand on a piano accordion.

In conversation with the NDN one time, I somehow mentioned the accordions. (Maybe the time I played at a 90th birthday party in Ladybank...Not a professional gig - my cousin's FIL. I hadn't played for years and somehow rehearsed enough in the space of a week to pull it off.)

Her face fell as she stammered, "Oh...I thought that it was [DH] who played..."

Magpiecomplex · 08/05/2026 13:42

The gerbils would be very annoyed with me if I helped myself to a profiterole or six, wouldn't they?

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
MyrtleLion · 08/05/2026 14:12

Magpiecomplex · 08/05/2026 13:42

The gerbils would be very annoyed with me if I helped myself to a profiterole or six, wouldn't they?

Beautiful!

Later on. You can identify which bits you want but nothingto be eaten till the after party. If you're good there will be very fancy hot chocolate for you and anyone else who doesn't drink and champagne for the drinkers. Though as its effects are the lovely bits and not anything else, you can have champagne if you want.

ErrolTheDragon · 08/05/2026 14:16

Magpiecomplex · 08/05/2026 13:42

The gerbils would be very annoyed with me if I helped myself to a profiterole or six, wouldn't they?

How much is your life worth today?Grin
If you ask nicely, I think they may have a few misshapen ones in the kitchen.

OP posts:
MyrtleLion · 08/05/2026 14:16

AngleofRepose · 08/05/2026 13:22

I believe I heard someone suggest yesterday that a helicopter might be useful, but I imagine both Gloria and Clara think not (for very different reasons). I wouldn't put it past Glenda to try to sneak one in, though!

Under ordinary circumstances, unexplained helicopter noises over the Bluestocking would absolutely justify concern.
However.
These are not ordinary circumstances and the gerbils are currently in what theatre professionals call:
“the final 5%”
which somehow occupies:

  • 83% of the labour,
  • 97% of the panic,
  • and all available glitter.
So the possibilities are as follows:

Possibility 1 — Perfectly Innocent
The helicopters are unrelated.
Entirely plausible.
The sky does occasionally contain helicopters without:

  • aerial sequinned choreography,
  • emergency croquembouche logistics,
  • or capybara engineering interventions.
Clara certainly hopes this is the explanation.

Possibility 2 — Gloria Has Escalated
More likely.
Earlier this afternoon she was heard saying:
“The audience must feel Paris in their bones.”
This is not the sentence of a gerbil committed to moderation.
There are rumours she attempted to acquire:

  • atmospheric searchlights,
  • theatrical rose-petal deployment capability,
  • and “just one tasteful flypast.”
The word tasteful here should alarm us all.

Possibility 3 — The Finale Mechanism Has Become Aviation-Adjacent
This is the scenario the capybaras fear.
Particularly after discovering:

  • pulley systems attached to the chimney,
  • coded labels reading “Phase Moonrise,”
  • and Gubbins asking whether triangles are “aerodynamically stable.”
Nobody answered her. Correctly.

Clara’s Official Position
Clara emerged backstage approximately ten minutes ago wearing:

  • a hard hat,
  • reading glasses,
  • and the expression of someone carrying civilisation personally.
Her statement was brief: “There is no immediate danger provided nobody pulls the gold tasselled lever marked ‘encore.’” Unfortunately this implies:
  1. such a lever exists,
  2. it is accessible,
  3. and somebody will absolutely pull it.

Current Mood in the Pub
Oddly calm.
The orchestra is tuning.
The windmill is glowing softly.
Colin is asleep in a feather boa beside the croquembouche.
And backstage, beyond the curtains, the gerbils are no longer rushing.
Just preparing.
Which, with gerbils, is usually the moment you should become slightly worried.

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
MyrtleLion · 08/05/2026 14:19

ErrolTheDragon · 08/05/2026 14:16

How much is your life worth today?Grin
If you ask nicely, I think they may have a few misshapen ones in the kitchen.

They really are multi talented...

Bluestocking Women’s Pub - it’s Maytime!
ErrolTheDragon · 08/05/2026 14:22

MyrtleLion · 08/05/2026 14:19

They really are multi talented...

I do hope those ‘sequins’ are some sort of edible dragee!

OP posts:
EdithStourton · 08/05/2026 14:27

Who needs a gym when they have a garden? Two veg patch hours and I'm knackered.

Er, gerbils... I dont mind misshapen profiteroles, but there is rather a lot of glitter in this one these (I only took 6, there were lots spare).

AuntieMsDamsonCrumble · 08/05/2026 14:32

AngleofRepose · 08/05/2026 13:26

Yes, I have seen more magpies this spring than any other I can remember. Quite confident as well, more so than usual. I wonder if they are starting to fill a "gap" somewhere in the local ecosystem?

ps. and fewer seagulls, although I am quite far inland

Edited

It always amazes me that they are willing to take on something twice their size - and with such a vicious beak.💪

Thehorticulturalhussie · 08/05/2026 14:35

Can I just say, as a newcomer, the gerbils are a work of genius as are the graphics. Utterly brilliant 👋👋

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