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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

feminism or transphobia?

1000 replies

giraffezoo · 08/04/2026 14:54

Long time lurker of this forum, first time poster.

I have read through many of the threads on here and I have to say there are lots of views that I find quite shocking.

There almost seems to be two sides of the ‘gender critical’ movement on here that I can see.

The first seems quite reasonable. They wish to have protections in place for women and their rights. Regardless of whether you agree or disagree (e.g. trans folk in toilets, transgender prisoners etc) they are stating a view based on safety and women’s rights.

The second bunch are the ones who I find myself disagreeing with, and who post things that I personally consider as transphobic. Some examples of this would be: refusing to use someone’s pronouns or citing being transgender as a mental illness which needs to be cured.

I feel that the first group are genuinely feminists who are concerned with women’s rights, and feel as though they need to speak out on their own concerns. The second group are masquerading under the pretence of feminism to say hateful or controversial things.

I am interested to hear other views on this point (and I’m sure there will be a lot here who don’t agree with me!)

OP posts:
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18
alliumursinum · 10/04/2026 07:50

Preferred pronouns are now proper pronouns are they?

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:50

RedToothBrush · 10/04/2026 07:47

Na. There's a universally applied concept here. If talk incoherent poorly thought out and not very well reasoned bollocks you'll get short shrift here.

The conversation here recognised some years ago that being nice is irrelevant to the ability to be constant and to apply equality and rights to all - including protections for transpeople.

It recognised that sex is recognised by everyone including those who deny it, so what's the fucking point in pretending differently?

It recognised that there's a lot of people who are grossly naive and think all trans people are saints even whilst some bend over backwards to accommodate toxic behaviour they wouldn't tolerate from anyone else. (This is a lot like women in toxic relationships which is why it tends to get recognised more on MN because we know and understand the scripts).

Ultimately we should not apply law and rational because of emotive arguments. We should apply law and policies back on drier safeguarding protocols which recognise how emotion can be used to erode healthy boundaries and protections. These law and policies have to recognise sex because we all do - being trans itself relies on a reference to sex and even in denial trans people can not fully ignore their sex because biology.

We also can not pretend that gender isn't undermining existing laws on sex discrimination based on stereotyping. The more it's doubled down on that we have lady brains and someone always knew their gender based on their toys and clothes the more we regress for everyone else who is nonconforming but not remotely interested in trans as a concept - which is perfectly within their rights.

Transpeople can exist and have protection. What they can't do is dictate how others perceive them, have the law work on a wimb because they think there should be unworkable exceptions nor should we erode safeguarding because that safeguarding makes them sad.

The fact that lots of people still haven't worked out these underlying truths (which you see people every day coming to the same inevitable conclusion because you can't square a circle) isn't MNs fault nor problem. If you are hitting this same brick wall of reality and don't like the messengers for stating what is essentially the bleeding obvious that people just don't want to see/admit to it's not our fucking problem.

It's yours. Own it.

Spoilt little children demanding the impossible eventually hit the end of the road despite mummy's efforts when mummy realises she will never be able to satisfy impossible demands and her efforts to try and provide the impossible regardless always end in a self created mess because she wasn't honest and didn't say "I'm sorry darling thats just not possible but this doesn't mean I don't love you". And actually fucking deal with any resulting tantrums once and for all until the kids get the message.

You guys can’t even accept you’re getting brainwashed by sexism and capitalism every day and you’re telling me to wake up? You guys don’t even believe sexist stereotypes get you 😂😂😂 you think you’re too clever and above it… yeah right give over

Shedmistress · 10/04/2026 07:51

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:49

You know what? That’s what happens to you guys the moment you refuse to use people’s proper pronouns. People just judge you as bigots. It’s a shame you think any beliefs outside of mainstream are bizarre and lack credibility given sexism and capitalism are mainstream beliefs but there you go.
i don’t care if you find me credible. I couldn’t give any of you guys a job because you can’t even be polite about pronouns ergo your too controversial for any kind of public facing work 🤷‍♀️

Edited

Many of us worked in public facing roles for decades. If you believe everything anyone tells you, instead of having an ounce of self confidence, then it is you not fit for facing the public.

Taztoy · 10/04/2026 07:52

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:49

You know what? That’s what happens to you guys the moment you refuse to use people’s proper pronouns. People just judge you as bigots. It’s a shame you think any beliefs outside of mainstream are bizarre and lack credibility given sexism and capitalism are mainstream beliefs but there you go.
i don’t care if you find me credible. I couldn’t give any of you guys a job because you can’t even be polite about pronouns ergo your too controversial for any kind of public facing work 🤷‍♀️

Edited

Proper pronouns?

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:52

alliumursinum · 10/04/2026 07:50

Preferred pronouns are now proper pronouns are they?

Yes to that person. Who the hell are you to decide what to call someone? Who died and made you god? So much arrogance here

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:52

This reply has been deleted

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SickandTiredofEverything · 10/04/2026 07:53

The people whose opinions I agree with are good, the people I don’t agree with are hateful. Discuss.

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:54

Taztoy · 09/04/2026 23:32

Please can you show where I have been horrible to you.

i post here regularly.

I find it strange that you’d be laughing at me as I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve that? Laughing that I was violently raped? Laughing that I habe trauma around that? Why?

I am autistic, for reference, so I am aware there are things I don’t “get” and this post is definitely one of them.

Im laughing that you guys think you’re above sexism and capitalism and have the right to police everyone else on the internet but lose your shit when they do it back or disagree with you. Not you personal. The ethos in this group

Shedmistress · 10/04/2026 07:54

This reply has been deleted

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Actually. Mother Nature and evolution and the development of language across every civilisation is god of pronouns.

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:54

SickandTiredofEverything · 10/04/2026 07:53

The people whose opinions I agree with are good, the people I don’t agree with are hateful. Discuss.

Let’s expand - people who can’t cope with people disagreeing and gang up on them - bad

RedToothBrush · 10/04/2026 07:55

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:49

You know what? That’s what happens to you guys the moment you refuse to use people’s proper pronouns. People just judge you as bigots. It’s a shame you think any beliefs outside of mainstream are bizarre and lack credibility given sexism and capitalism are mainstream beliefs but there you go.
i don’t care if you find me credible. I couldn’t give any of you guys a job because you can’t even be polite about pronouns ergo your too controversial for any kind of public facing work 🤷‍♀️

Edited

If I worried about what everyone else thought all the time instead of just getting on with what I thought was right, I'd never do anything. Nor would anyone else who ever did anything actually worthwhile.

Fitting in with social expectations isn't my bag.

Taztoy · 10/04/2026 07:55

This reply has been deleted

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Excuse me?

I’ve been unfailingly polite to you. Where did that aggression come from?

i will not engage in compelled speech.

I have trauma from my rape and I do not feel it is appropriate or fair to me and others like me to start using incorrect pronouns for people as it opens a door to treating men as women and I need single sex spaces.

Chersfrozenface · 10/04/2026 07:55

"People's proper pronouns"?

By 'proper' do you mean 'correct'? As opposed to the older meaning of 'own, the property of'?

Correct pronouns are based on actual sex. Language that reflects and communicates reality.

Taztoy · 10/04/2026 07:56

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:54

Im laughing that you guys think you’re above sexism and capitalism and have the right to police everyone else on the internet but lose your shit when they do it back or disagree with you. Not you personal. The ethos in this group

Can you please show where I have lost my shit?

RedToothBrush · 10/04/2026 07:58

mattala · 10/04/2026 07:50

You guys can’t even accept you’re getting brainwashed by sexism and capitalism every day and you’re telling me to wake up? You guys don’t even believe sexist stereotypes get you 😂😂😂 you think you’re too clever and above it… yeah right give over

As I say incoherent bollocks and attempts to shit stir by throwing smears everywhere don't get very far because we read the script and seen it performed many times.

I'd say try harder but recognising limitations is important.

alliumursinum · 10/04/2026 07:58

‘That person’ - I’m here on the screen. I’m 💯 confident that you’re not remotely qualified for your secret squirrel job supporting women victims of male violence

BackToLurk · 10/04/2026 07:59

mattala · 09/04/2026 20:13

Lol I’m the best in my work and constantly get told I am but I’ll make sure I don’t help you

Is that you, Donald?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 10/04/2026 07:59

RedToothBrush · 10/04/2026 07:58

As I say incoherent bollocks and attempts to shit stir by throwing smears everywhere don't get very far because we read the script and seen it performed many times.

I'd say try harder but recognising limitations is important.

Yes, it’s all a bit desperate.

RedToothBrush · 10/04/2026 08:00

This reply has been deleted

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So we should give into screaming toddlers and terrorists just because?

This is MN. We don't get taken hostage by that kinda crap.

mattala · 10/04/2026 08:01

BackToLurk · 10/04/2026 07:59

Is that you, Donald?

no it’s vlad. Can you tell him he can’t just ignore me after we were intimate like that? I have feelings too 😭😭😭

mattala · 10/04/2026 08:05

alliumursinum · 10/04/2026 07:58

‘That person’ - I’m here on the screen. I’m 💯 confident that you’re not remotely qualified for your secret squirrel job supporting women victims of male violence

I don’t care what you think or your levels of confidence seeing as you’ve extrapolated this from one convo

Ereshkigalangcleg · 10/04/2026 08:05

I’m not 🤷‍♀️

mattala · 10/04/2026 08:06

Ereshkigalangcleg · 10/04/2026 08:05

I’m not 🤷‍♀️

I think you’d like the ai link but never mind. It’s very relevant to your beliefs

Theeyeballsinthesky · 10/04/2026 08:10

Reddit excelling themselves again I see. When are the Easter holidays over??

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