Daughter in early 20s lonely due to GC views

[Currentquandry]

My daughter is in her early twenties. She is GC and is struggling because so few of her peers have similar opinions. She is very lonely because of this. Are there any online groups she could join to give her a sense of community? She is also ND. Thank you in advance for your advice…

Yes, but what about when those people keep bringing up the subject with which you are in disagreement? This is, I suspect, the issue for the OP's daughter. University campuses can be very politically pressured environments - with many students feeling that they have to go along with a predictable stable of viewpoints on very particular political issues.

I frequently walk through my local university campus and there are always SWP stalls out in central gathering areas, and other flag waving demonstrations etc And often people who align with all of that can be very intolerant of anyone who dares step out of line. Even the university bookshops push certain topics and openly display the latest politically correct books in their window displays.

How is it ironic if it's a view aimed at anyone with any views?

My kid just goes to class or the library, does their work and comes home. My niece seems to do the same living away at uni.

They do often seem to go together, yes.

And I do see a symmetry between the vitriol on both sides. I don't particularly feel that one side has been any better in this than the other.

At least a majority of young people in the UK are pro-trans. That gives me hope for the future. As does the rise of the Green Party, with its unashamedly pro-trans views.

I think I'm done with this thread. Got the nieces and nephews coming over for an easter egg hunt, so think I'll go and enjoy that for a while instead.

OP, I hope your daughter gets through this ok.

You internally roll your eyes, think "FFS, here we go again" then say "I'm putting the kettle on, do you fancy a cup of tea?" / Ooh look at that little dog across the road, isn't he cute?/sun's trying to get out again, about time we had some nice weather, don't you think?/ Did you see EastEnders last night?"/ insert your own change of subject here😁
Treat them like you would anyone with militant /obsessive views.

But it is.

Being non-GC is absolutely more left wing.

I am a leftist but I recognise that my GC does not always match the views of other leftists.

Thats my point of my post.

I work with someone who has right winged views, of which most I completely disagree with but there are some things where we can see each others POV and even agree with some of them.

As long as it’s not too far right or too far left, then as a society we should be able to recognise that people have different opinions and feel safe discussing them or just staying quiet if it’s not an appropriate time/place.

OPs DD (and her peers) need to recognise this and will learn this in time.

Agree @Shortshriftandlethal University students can be incredibly political and outspoken and this is nothing new (many of us remember The Young Ones, right?)

They are young adults away from home for the first time, living semi-independent lives so they’re working out what kind of adult they’re going to be. Many also see everything as very polarised- there are a prescribed set of views you’re allowed to have and no room for nuance. I’m not surprised the OP’s daughter sometimes runs into conflict- and likely not because she is marching around campus making her GC views loudly known.

Yes, forgot to add when it comes to any campus bit like it mentioned in that post, surely you'd just cross to the other side of the road/ street/area like you would with other groups?
Just like I give chuggers or Jehovah's Witness stands in town a wide berth.

So you’ll have no rape and death threat links from feminists then? So how can it be both sides if only one side is threatening?

You really are several years behind with this issue.

The OP's daughter has to just get through this final year of her degree. Sounds like she's been shunned and shamed by a few because she has 'liked' a social media post that she 'shouldn't' have. A good time for her to learn that being true to oneself whilst maintaining high standards in one's own conduct is the best recipe for a successful adult life. You can't be 'liked' by everyone, and ultimately many people go along with all sorts of things simply to receieve that superficial 'liking'.

Girls can be really mean to each other and socially isolate girls who don't fit in. Over time she will attract and gravitate towards people who are more reflective of herself and her values.

I think being non-GC lines up with being more authoritarian but the left in general seems to have become more authoritarian sadly.

This is typical of pewople who go along with group think and have never really taken the trouble to actually learn and understand the vatious perspectives.

I've just read though the whole thread. The position that posting a screenshot of someone's rape threat is worse than actually making the threat is bizarre.

Young TRAs at universities can be very intolerant. You don't have to make gender critical views your special interest and never shut up about them in order to be socially shunned. Making one GC comment, once, might be enough to get you 'cancelled'. Or even just saying you don't hate JKR might do it.

I think the OP's daughter will find it easier after university - more social opportunities with a wider range of people.

So you read through the whole thread about a poor young woman battling loneliness in the final year of her degree, and your first thoughts were on the derail about screenshots?

I was just about the write that last sentence to the OP as well. It will be easier after university slightly depending which sector her daughter is going to work in.

ll you do is tell her mother it's her daughter's fault for being "repellent".

Sounds like me! Well I’m mid 20s now. It’s a good way to weed out people who you wouldn’t want to be friends with anyway.

I didn't say it was the mother's fault.

OP, I think your daughter could really do well in joining the women’s rights network or similar. She might then find other smaller groups with other focuses from there.

She sounds like she just needs to have some times where she doesn’t have to feel anxious about saying something that will cause her to be ostracised. It might give her that break so she can feel more relaxed and less anxious in other settings and groups, if you know what I mean. That way she can have a wider range of groups and activities.

Her friends condemning her over liking a video seems to be a sign of the times. Maybe she also could have an anon social media account to read content that might end up causing her issues in the future.

I didn't say you did, I said you tell her mother that it is her daughter's fault.

She liked one video.
That's gone beyond "read the room" and into thought policing.

It is your fault if you repel people by being entrenched in views you insist on sharing openly, all the time.

It is your fault if you repel people by being entrenched in views you insist on sharing openly, all the time.

Although I’ll add I haven’t been to university, I imagine it’s full of “woke” zealots who haven’t lived in the real world yet. So pretty self selecting. Once she finishes her degree it’ll be easier to find like minded people, or look for friends who aren’t uni students