Daughter in early 20s lonely due to GC views

[Currentquandry]

My daughter is in her early twenties. She is GC and is struggling because so few of her peers have similar opinions. She is very lonely because of this. Are there any online groups she could join to give her a sense of community? She is also ND. Thank you in advance for your advice…

Follow the quote history. It's often best not to intercept an exchange between two people because you don't have the same context as them.

Have you got it yet, ladies? You must ignore everything - and that includes rape threats - that makes men look bad.

Where the hell are you getting this from?! Its pure imaginative fantasy, as far as I can tell.

Before the OP posted clarifying what she meant by lonely, I said that people who are singularly fixed on a topic are repellant to others, essentially.

When the OP returned and clarified, I said the two others are probably entrenched in their views to their detriment and the daughter should toggle her SM settings so people can't see what she interacts with.

The contribution@AidaPmade to this thread is relevant to the discussion because it shows that what is considered as "reasonable" within trans activism is utterly abhorrent to anyone not driven by some kind of hatred of women.

In that context, it becomes clearer how OP's daughter could run into problems with trans activists just by making a singular innocuous comment/like about women's rights and a possible conflict with the demands of trans activists. That is, following what OP has posted happened rather than some of the fictional versions posted that have been used to claim that OP's daughter is a fault.

Ah ok, thanks - still not sure why I've been lumped in with posts you've made though, it's almost as if some hear a different voice and think we're all the same person 😕🙄

It's literally happened to me on this site. I've seen it happen to others on here.

I've also seen this occur any time an extremist is involved in a conversation about pretty much anything.

So you assumed OP's DD was repellent based on her gc views?

The thread is about a young woman who is trying to navigate the current social environment where she simply liked a video on social media and suffered negative reaction to that simple act. There has been a lot of assumption by some posters about that young woman's social skills and the strength of her opinions.

It is relevant to point out the environment on social media that she is interacting with and the negative impact that it is likely to be having on the OP's daughter. The chilling effect of posts such as the one that is under scrutiny is very real. So too is the negative impact caused by people who have minimised that social media post or sought to dismiss its inherent meaning.

There is a significant issue with young people being very concerned about discussing their opinions openly amongst people they consider friends and with some family members. This has been documented in several research papers.

It is important not to dismiss the negative impacts of the chilling effect on young women in particular.

It is very important for the OP and her family to have a deep understanding of what is happening and why and where it all stems from, so that they as a family can all work out suggestions that might be helpful and that do not contribute to further isolating the OP's daughter.

The OPs daughter is neuro-divergent and so not naturally gregarious. It is the 'mean' girls at university who are shunning her due to her having liked a social media post that they disapproved of. You really need to improve your reading skills, and actively listen a bit more.

The solution to profound disagreement is not to bury it in order to preserve fake friendships. Friends are people who know and understand you and support you - not people who shame and shun when you don't go along with the crowd. People who behave in that way are not good friendship material, and using the word 'friend' to describe them demeans the meaning of friendship.

People who don't go along with the crowd will always tend towards being loners; towards being more independent minded and self sufficient; not so dependent on being 'liked'; a little more detached, a little more objective.

I cross posted with Nauticant.

It's another symptom of extremism. Anyone who doesn't immediately validate your narrative must be a singular enemy or imposter of some kind. It's part of the Us Vs Them mentality.

I don't expect my friends (or family members) to agree with all my views nor I theirs. I do have some non negotiables, but a apart from that I just avoid certain subjects and am sure they do too. If you are seeking a life partner then sure you want to agree on at least the main issues, whatever they are for you, but otherwise I find a soupcon of flexibility helps.

I seriously think you need to hold a mirror up to yourself and take a good look.

I wonder where she got those views OP 🤔

"My daughter is autistic but masks well and has excellent people skills."

From the OP.

If your comprehension skills were apt, you'd realise that people are responding to posts I made before the OP posted any clarification. I stand by those based on what the OP said first.

Just saw this, and I agree that it is important to discuss the impacts on society where people are afraid to even interact with a social media post for fear of some kind of negative reaction from people they consider their friends.

Yeah I really don't think i have extreme views on this topic. You actually don't either. You've just made assumptions based on peripherally related topics because you think if I don't agree with you on every single point or see things exactly as you do, then I must also be some sort of trans rights activist.

That's extremist thinking.

The word 'literally' is totally superfluous in this context. It adds nothing of meaning, though it does create a vivid picture of its author.

You are knowingly posting on a board which acts as a platform and meeting place for people who reject trans ideology . I'm not sure why you seem so surprised at the strength and clarity of views of the majority here?There is no compulsion for you to post; and in fact the provocative and belligerent style you enjoy seems far better suited to AIBU, in my opinion.

Yes, that's my take too - I refuse to talk politics for example with some family members, and it's not because I'm "trying to cancel them" or "want them to die" or anything else ridiculous like that, it's because I don't want to hear them fucking wang on and on and on and on about immigrants or whatever topic they're blithering on about now.
In this circumstance, of the OP's DD, if it's to do with just liking a post on social media, I'd be thinking they have a right to their opinion, but they should have the courage to stand by them and not take others trying to shame them to heart.
How often does it come up in RL, anyway, unless you're entrenched in the "debate" whichever side of it you're on?!

No, I assumed she was repellant because she has no friends and is lonely in her early 20s which the OP directly related to her views on one topic.

We all know young people who are very GC, even if they don't use that term. So why would she be lonely due to that unless she was going on about it all the time which nobody likes?

The OP then clarified.

Generally the kind of radicalising space I was talking about focuses on making a monster and an enemy of a particular social group, to the point that you then go out into the real world and make a statement about that group which seems normal to you, only to find people are shocked and alienated by your views.

I don’t think that subreddit qualifies given it seems to largely just be a support group in which trans people discuss their lives and experiences of treatment with each other, unless you think there's something wrong with that?

No, I assumed she was repellant because she has no friends and is lonely in her early 20s which the OP directly related to her views on one topic.

Do you think all people who are lonely are lonely because they are repellent in some way?

It's happened in AIBU. It doesnt matter how many people with similar views are in the same place, it doesnt have to be like that where people are interrogated for their views on a topic that is not even related to the thread. It is just to gauge the character of the poster.

That's a lovely post @Helleofabore that should remind us how hard this all is for our young people.

It's terrifying for young people to know that their are dangerous extremists being enabled to issue rape and death threats, get those knowing that sex is binary exclused and cancelled, threatening to decapitate or punch women, protesting outside venues where women and lesbians dare to meet, even hurling piss around with impunity and creating a hostile and dangerous atmosphere.

It's unbelievable to see the laughable insistence that it is women and those arguing for women's right to privacy and safety and the importance of safeguarding children to be characterised as "extremists". Dangerous too as it gives the real extremists a free pass to continue with their active campaigns of terror.

Still - keyboard warriors won't stop - not matter how ridiculous their arguments are.