The Bluestocking - Best Pub on the Internet

[EdithStourton]

Welcome to the Bluestocking women's pub. Excellent (if sometimes wilful) gerbil bar staff, varied cocktails, splendid cakes, cracking Sunday roasts...

Voted Best Pub for the umpteenth thread running, join us for conversation about tractors, units of measurement, films, wildlife, and even, sometimes, women's rights.

Just keep Glenda off the gin.

Any men, you can trot along to the Staunch Ally just up the road.

Yeah but ... there's an 'n' missing

I have in the past moved in to a village, and entered the “local” Pub, you know full of regulars.

It took a while to get to know people, but there was a deciding event.

We bought a biggish new build on an old Victorian factory site, three strides away from said pub opposite.

I went in with my nans fake fur on. The local property “magnate”, let’s call Him Dom was seated with recently acquired acquaintances, who are farmers.

They invited us to sit with them. Dom was very interested in our fiscal value and what i did for a living.

So i said i was a dominatrix who specialised in baby men who liked their nappy changing and being bottle fed.

I went in to quite some detail about my fictitious employment. Patting in talc that sort of thing.

anyway i was told that Dom could not be shaken from his belief that it was true.

i became a legend for that piss take and soon settled into the pub after that .

Nearly 10 weeks of showers!

And my eviction rate is currently standing at an average of 47.75 items per day.

House still looks the bloody same though!

That is to say, I believe there should be an N in counting?

wanders off for a snooze

You are a legend, hedgie ... what a brilliant story!

I have also sometimes done the fictitious employment thing. On occasion I have told people that I was a phrenologist.

Not my own invention, sadly. It comes from the 1990 comedy fillum Men At Work, which I won't say was robbed at the Oscars but is good for filling up an hour and a half when you're bored. The basic premise is that Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez are two bin men who find a dead politician in the rubbish, and hilarity ensues. It's like Weekend At Bernie's with an environmental message, if you can imagine such a thing.

Anyway, Charlie seeks to impress his hot female neighbour by saying he's a phrenologist, which I suppose is a bit more prestigious than being a bin man, but when he explains about how he feels and interprets skull features it does make him seem like a kind of proto Zack Polanski.

There have been times in my life when I've had restricted mobility, and this means I have a weirdly encyclopaedic knowledge of low-budget movies that nobody else will admit to having heard of.

I am also attempting to evict items from my house.

I worked on the kitchen today. Put out one broken timer and two expired bottles of vitamins.

I am a very good chucker available for hire at a very reasonable rate

I have nowt left to chuck myself hence looking for opportunities

also like destructive gardening

Starting offer. .. A packet of Tunnock's teacakes and a snowball if you do a good job?

I swing between struggling to find something to get rid of and the urge to skip the entire house if I had the energy and a skip!

But I have started to get rid of more of the things that I've been holding onto as it might come in useful one day.

I find myself having to give myself a good talking to "FFS Boiled it hasn't come in useful for the 20/30/40 years you've had it you aren't suddenly going to find a use for it tomorrow. And if you do then buy a bloody new one!" . It works some days but I still find myself arguing back "but but but..." way too often

I think I do need someone stood over me in real time in real life to go "Really Boiled? Really? You want to hold into that load of crap?"

Better in the bin than taking up cupboard space! As Tesco say "every little helps"

Of course when it comes to that sort of movie I have a special affection for Love At First Bite (1979), because where else can you see Dracula (George Hamilton) showing off his dance moves at Studio 54?

Night all 😉

Trade the snowball for a tunnocks caramel water ?

Milk or dark?

MILK

This week is Stanley Milgram Appreciation Week. Any volunteers?

Deal. I'd have had to buy dark ones and add them to the items in the house which defeats the purpose of employing you!

Presses button.

Oh I’d have eaten them anyway just to be tidy

i could not remember his name earlier

now o can’t remember why I wanted to remember his name !

Nooooooooooo!

Now i know about Stanley (feels engaged)

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😱

Let's try the start of the thread instead

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5169893-les-bas-bleus-the-bluestocking

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