What's the deal guys?

[shadesOfTeal]

I don't think this post is going to last long but what's the deal with hating trans women so much? I've been a women for 13 years of my life since 18 and it's never been a problem. Suddenly I'm not only talk of the town but also an evil man stealing everyone's rights away from them? I wasn't much of a boy as a kid anyway but. I just wanted to ask like what's the deal? Why do you hate the idea of me existing so much? What have I personally done to you that's been so bad? I feel like I need to be careful with my words because it'll be easy to accuse me of all sorts but I've done no harm to anyone. If you want to ask a trans woman some honest questions then please do, I don't usually talk about it in my day to day life and that, I'm pretty down to earth and will help you understand as much as possible. But I'd like to ask the people that hate me so much, can we ever get along? Please don't assume I'm what the internet and the media says I am though, I'm not like that at all! I just want us all to get on and I'm sick of having my life debated every 5 minutes.

The capacity for self-delusion and self-destruction is bizarre, and near limitless.

For most trans-identifying females and the younger trans-identifying males, I primarily feel pity. How horribly fragile are their illusory self-created worlds. One 'sir' or a 'dude' and he's left bereft and shaking. A kindly "Miss?" can ruin her whole day.

[Older TIMs I have much less sympathy for. In most cases this is a sexual fetishism played out in public. They are likely much more dangerous on a per capita basis than the average man. They commonly exploit and use the much more sympathetic others for camouflage and collateral.]

How can anyone function like this? Hold down a job? Parent a child? Be a good friend to someone (not them, for once) who is struggling?

Their choices mean they can't even pop to the local corner store in 'comfort and safety'. Because an ordinary well-intentioned person could shatter their delicate web of lies with a single word. They've chosen to walk, figuratively, barefoot on a path littered with the handfuls of lego dropped by them earlier.

I find it bewildering. Why not just be a 'feminine' gender-non-conforming man or a 'masculine' gnc woman. No lies or fear of discovery. No medication, nor surgery needed. Change of mind is no problem at all. Any public confusion can be quickly resolved with everyone's self-esteem left in tact. Because both 'man' and 'woman' are perfectly fine states of being.

There's nothing shameful about the world seeing you as your biological sex. Being a woman, or being a man, should never be someone's terrible secret.

Transition and surgery didn't make you a woman, because a woman is not a surgically-altered man, who dresses and presents in a stereotypically feminine manner. She is a person born female, who survived to adulthood and has a body which evolved to produce ova and carry the resultant foetus to birth, just as your male body evolved to produce sperm to fertilise those ova. Sex is obviously many things, but at its heart is the sexual reproduction of the human species and nothing can change that..

To be fair, he said "The world moves me around as a woman"

Like a piece of woman-shaped furniture?

Their choices mean they can't even pop to the local corner store in 'comfort and safety'.

Or to the hairdressers - see this thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5493024-a-moment-of-levity

In which case you don't even have the legal fiction of being a woman. When it comes to discrimination against you, the comparator is another man, as the Equality Act 2010 makes pellucidly clear. The Supreme Court judgment last year simply confirmed that.

Are you suggesting alternative biology is real?

I have said this on another thread recently. There is little chance that a girl with a parent who states they are female when they are male people, will grow up with healthy protective boundaries for their own privacy.

Their privacy has been violated from the start if they have not been told the truth about their parent’s sex category.

I am suggesting that the PP having received cross sex hormone treatment as an adolescent in the '80s is as likely as the same PP having a Granny who was actually a man with a DSD. I think either of these claims is rather improbable and the suggestion that they are both true has stretched my credulity beyond breaking point.

Forty years ago was the claim, which takes us back to 1986.

The Dutch protocol wasn’t even proposed until the mid 90s.

So no PBs for children in 1986, so no boys had their male puberty blocked back then. Addition of female hormones wouldn’t block the testosterone.

A lot of history has been rewritten by transactivists.

But you can just make up biology if you feel hard enough.

There's nothing shameful about the world seeing you as your biological sex. Being a woman, or being a man, should never be someone's terrible secret.

I have difficulty understanding why anyone would disagree with this.

Also, at what point did clinicians treating gender dysphoria start telling patients that their mental health should be dependent on external affirmation of something that is not possible?

I don't claim female experience, I claim my own experience. That you believe my experience is female experience is on you.

Unfortunately apposite phrasing

And yet, you know nothing about my experience.

The social and cultural designation that describes my life and has defined my opportunities to a great degree is 'woman.'

My body is measurably female in many ways. This is my experience.

My GP is quite comfortable with my health, screenings and test results. She has not classified any of my care as 'male.' Mumsnet has already mocked this and other health experiences that are incomprehensible under sex realism.

I was never on blockers or anti-androgens. Just straight into HRT. Estrogen was fine.

We cannot base laws on your (or anybody's) subjective reality.

So, your body still produced and processed testosterone. You went through a male puberty.

I agree, somewhat. But sex realism doesn't believe in gender. Sex realism believes in gametes being the sole control of one's experience in the world.

This is utter nonsense.

You are a man with a man's body and experiences that are human.

All my documentation says female/woman. No entity has required a GRC to identify my sex or gender. I do not need to modify any UK administrative records.

This is your belief.

There are declining numbers of people who hold a genuine belief that same sex couples damage their children by preventing them access to an environment blessed by a mother and a father.

(and no I am not calling you homophobic, just to make it mumsnet-obvious)

There aren't many situations where you will be asked to prove your sex. You are just expected to obey the law.

You might as well argue that it's legal to ignore the speed limit as long as you aren't caught.

gets competitive

I have a blouse I bought in Paris on my 21st birthday in 1981.

Upstairs, I still have the doll my mum bought me in 1965. She's wearing a velvet coat and hat that Mum hand stitched plus one of my dresses from 1960. (What do you men, "That's cheating!"?)