How do navigate things with older/adult dc who are pro-trans ideology if you are not?

[Fancycrab]

Just wondering those of you who are GC and have teenagers or young adult dc who strongly support trans ideology, how do you navigate this? Do you just agree not to discuss it? Does it ever interfere with your relationship? My DD is still little but her dad, who I’m separated from is very pro trans rights and believes the whole gender ideology bollocks. I worry that he will brainwash DD into believing it too when she’s older and she’ll end up seeing me as the uncool, unprogressive one who just “doesn’t get it” 🙄

'They are men. It’s literally the only prerequisite to be a transwoman.'

Does anyone remember the fuss that was made by the people who believe in gender identity when a couple of young women identified as trans-transwomen?

Love this!

I’d state the truth in a calm offhand way, and compare it to religion; some people believe this, some people believe that. Current trends are moving away from Gender Woo, so by the time she’s older this is likely to be a non-issue.

Yes.

There was at least one women in her 40s that did so too. All those women were abused by male people with transgender identities for doing so.

You really couldn’t make it up. Male people demand their claim to be female is celebrated and centred. Female people claiming to be transwomen are abused by a group of those same people.

Can we have a list @onepostwonder of the exact changes in a male person that happens at any stage of transition that then changes their risk of committing sex offences or violence please? Please list all the evidenced ways that these changes mean those male people cease to commit sex or violent crimes.

I look forward to that. Not one male person with a transgender identity has supplied a list yet while telling female people the opposite of what the prisoner statistics show is the truth. So, please list away.

That is your opinion.

This is your opinion.

It’s fact. Many people believe whole heartedly that the earth is flat. It’s not. Same as transwomen are male.

I disagree with your comprehension.

I have no idea how you found any of those assumptions in what I wrote.

You know how I feel about rapists from the previous thread.

You know more about this than I do then.

Fair. No one seemed to be concerned about that comment. I assumed it fell into noise and/or general acceptance on this website.

The simple answer to your question is everyone male and female, trans and non-trans, has the capacity to sexually assault or commit violence upon anyone else. There is no point in anyone's life where this capacity changes.

Your definition of risk is based on research that I believe to be ideologically assembled to display the worst outcome for trans women. Therefore we will not agree on 'risk' of any cohorts.

If I had seen it before you pointed it out, I would have thought it "off", but would not have jumped in to say anything. Individuals are in general are not the content police, and personally I don't think that every time someone says something I don't agree with that I have to correct them. I like to think that everyone else here is more or less the same.

I suppose that's a long winded way of saying don't interpret silence as agreement. You've been here long enough to form a reasonably accurate impression of the general mood, what opinions are "mainstream", what are "outliers", and what most people feel the need to respond to.

But you must agree, surely, that a sexual assault is more likely to have been committed by a man than a woman, and similarly (though not equivalently) a man is more likely to commit a sexual assault than a woman?

If that's not in dispute, then at what time does the risk of a sexual assault by a man who decides he is a woman change to match that of a biological woman?

In the case of someone like Isla Bryson, are they a rare example of a woman who sexually assaults women but just happened to be born in a male body? That's two lightning strikes in a row, isn't it? Doesn't that seem unlikely?

You have posted a deflection.

Male people have a collective history of committing sex offences at a far higher rate than female people. MALE. All male people.

“everyone male and female, trans and non-trans, has the capacity to sexually assault or commit violence upon anyone else”.

This part is, of course, true. But it does not then compare the rate at which male and female people commit these crimes and are convicted for their crime.

Yet, I wrote my post in reply to your point: ”I have no proof because I don't generally think about this, but based on what seems to be the frequency of prison onset transitions talked about here, very few trans women commit serious crime after some point in their transitions. I would suggest it would be unsafe to house those women with men. Some trans women absolutely cannot be safely housed with men.”

So, you seem able to make a judgement about crime frequency then of other groups… just not those you belief to have with established transgender identities? Seems like a rather convenient
blind spot and one reliant on whether you, personally, have judged a person as being truly transgender or not.

I think you are still making completely unevidenced points that are based only on what you want to be true. Not on material reality.

This is the material reality.

..stats say as of April 2019 that the general male MoJ data for male sex offenders was just 16.8% of the male prison population.
And there were 3.3% of female people in UK prisons were sex offenders. For the male population with transgender identities that did not have a GRC, the figure with sex offences was 88/203 and is 43.3% of that population.

Even if you look at it another way and remove the sex offence rate within that population, that of the prison population of people with transgender identities, male people with transgender identities are convicted and jailed for any crime at four times the rate of female people with transgender identities according to Dr Alice Sullivan. Again, nothing like the female population.

In case you are also overly reliant on what you perceive as male people declaring they are female for getting into female prison estates, after it was announced that this would no longer happen, a disproportionate increase in the rate of new male people with a transgender identity being convicted for sex offences was noted in the prisons? Why would any male prisoner declare they were transgender if there was no chance anymore that they would enter a female prison and were being housed in male prisons?

So, you can deny the UK prisoner statistics all you like. However, they show numerous indicators that show that male people at all stages of transition are more likely to be committing sex offences than female people.

And your point about male people with transgender identities being ‘unsafe’ in male prisons continues to ignore the many other vulnerable male prisoners. There are vulnerable male prisoner groups being safeguarded even now.

Why would one with a transgender identity be unsafe in a section with other vulnerable male prisoners?

Because you said so?

“I have no proof because I don't generally think about this”.

I can certainly see this statement was true. You have no proof and you haven’t thought about it. Yet, you feel compelled to make unfounded statements about a topic you confess you don’t think about.

“Your definition of risk is based on research that I believe to be ideologically assembled to display the worst outcome for trans women.”

No ‘ideological assembly’ required mate. It is based on statistics.

What would be ‘ideological’ is seeing the statistics and believing they are not accurate. So, this seems like pure projection from you.

There is no logic basing these declarations by this poster, Ample.

They have effectively declared that they have not thought about it, but in any case the statistics presented are only ‘ideological’ in nature so according to them, they should be discredited and show nothing.

My comprehension? I now think this is more projection from you.

I was questioning YOUR comprehension of what the poster you accused of promoting rape posted. Your comprehension of it seemed only to be based on what you wanted it to be.

You made the interpretation that this statement from the post you linked to prove your point

You linked a post that said this: “Thoughts n prayers for Serenity enjoying plenty of good old rough prison justice in a MALE prison”

This was the link you posted :
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5487536-this-never-happens-another-transwoman-rapist-going-to-prison-in-scotland?reply=150392795&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share&utm_source=copylink

You posted it to back your claim made 09/02/2026 20:55 that:
”I think the gleefulness I've seen here (other prison threads) from posters who promote prison rape as some type of justice is disgusting and unfeminist.”

I pointed out a reasonable interpretation of that post you linked vs your highly prejudiced interpretation that seems to read a great deal into the words you linked up.

I then asked you questions to try to work out why you made such a misrepresentation of that post. Me asking you questions is not me assuming your position !! It is me asking why you made such assumptions about another poster.

FFS!

You were the poster who read “Thoughts n prayers for Serenity enjoying plenty of good old rough prison justice in a MALE prison” and thought it “promote(s) prison rape as some type of justice”.

I read “Thoughts n prayers for Serenity enjoying plenty of good old rough prison justice in a MALE prison” and think the person was tried and given a prison sentence and will serve the sentence in a male prison because they are a male person.

I do agree that a sexual assault is more likely to have been committed by a man than a woman. Also, I agree that more likely to commit a sexual assault than a woman.

There is no doubt that some men decide to come out as trans after they have been sentenced to prison. These individuals commonly, but maybe not always (again, I know very little about this), are found guilty of violent (including sexual) crimes against primarily women. I think we all agree that the most part they should be in the mens and perhaps a special wing as they receive transition treatment. I believe Isla Bryson falls into this group.

Is Isla Bryson trans? Not the way I used to understand 'trans.' It is difficult for me to understand how someone can make it to adulthood without doing everything they can to begin transition. It is even more difficult for me to understand how someone can suddenly and surprisingly announce they are trans after they are committed to prison, doubly so after attacking women. But, under the systems that exist at this time, Isla Bryson is labeled and treated as trans.

Back in my day (old person sounds), sex reassignment surgery was a requirement to administratively change one's sex across the government. So even if it wasn't personally desired by some, that's what a majority of us did for recognition and a viable life. We were encouraged to blend in, disappear and stay out of trouble. Being unemployed or arrested reset the surgery permission clock. Being arrested for prostitution or violence would disintegrate medical pathways completely.

I'm sure there are some trans women who are violent. Trans is a spectrum of people identifying through every possible gender-related feeling. My hunch is most trans women who socially integrate (have jobs, friends, lovers, lives, community, etc) will be just as likely as any other woman in similar circumstance to commit a crime. Trans women who find themselves culturally challenged (poverty, drugs, gangs, violent friends and community) could have heightened likelihood to commit or be a victim of crime.

This is why I believe a case by case evaluation of each trans person is fair. Violent/nonviolent offenders are evaluated for placement all the time. I don't believe gender/sex is much different.

My GDs believe J K Rowling is evil incarnate. I daren’t mention her or anything to do with the trans issue. There seems to be a real generational divide on this issue.

“My hunch is most trans women who socially integrate (have jobs, friends, lovers, lives, community, etc) will be just as likely as any other woman in similar circumstance to commit a crime.”

Your hunch would be wrong.

You keep admitting that you don’t KNOW! But then you keep making baseless claims and expecting anyone to believe that you do know.

“This is why I believe a case by case evaluation of each trans person is fair. Violent/nonviolent offenders are evaluated for placement all the time. I don't believe gender/sex is much different.”

No male prisoners should ever be placed in female prisons!

Not even male people who solemnly have made any number of vows and changes to their bodies. Because they are male people.

Any female prisoner deserves the security and the privacy and dignity to be held only with female people.

I cannot imagine any female prisoner being housed in prison with a male person who, even if they have had all the body modification available, still has enough male body cues to be correctly identified as male. It must be traumatising beyond belief.

No male person ever will 100% of the time be believed to be female. There are plenty of male people who have been on puberty blockers in the media and they still have male body cues.

Therefore, NO ‘case by case’!

It is NOT fair to female prisoners!!

My DDs too, one stormed out when I mentioned her funding of the Afghan lawyers and hasn’t spoken to me since.

Case by case is just 'suck it and see' and making women collateral damage if it goes wrong.

Absolutely unacceptable and the people suggesting this must genuinely think women are second class citizens. What a truly gross position to take. Disgusting. 😵‍💫

It goes back to first principles. Women's prisons are single sex facilities. On what grounds would we make an exception for ANY group of men?

How are women supposed to know whether a man who wants to be a woman is ‘good trans’ or ‘bad trans’? I agree with you that in the past only those who went to the bother of surgery, was generally enough of a line because it was so rare. Now with the ubiquity of gender surgery and cross sex hormones etc, that doesn’t apply.

Men are kept out of female single sex spaces, not because they are all bad, but because we can’t tell which ones want to rape and kill us. Same applies with men who want to be women or who believe they are women. Many will be unthreatening like you say, but some aren’t and this means they need to go to the men’s or a unisex space.

‘Good men stay out so the bad men stand out’ as they say. I’m always amazed that men who claim to feel like a woman inside, can’t grasp that and stand with women.

How are women supposed to know whether a man who wants to be a woman is ‘good trans’ or ‘bad trans’?

They can't and the people suggesting this as an answer know that already.

They also know that women will get hurt because this is impossible to gatekeep.

They simply do not care. They are more than happy for these women to end up as collateral damage so that men get what they want.