How would you deal with T in a friendship group?

[FourSevenTwo]

How would you deal with T people around you? In general and in my situation?

The main question:
A male in a friendship group decided to go full TW, starting hormones and so on, changing name to the women's form and coming out with pronouns.

Unfortunately, our language is heavily gendered*. For example, instead of Hi Alex, you would say Hi Alexi for a man and Hi Alexo for a woman. If you want to say anything in past tense, like Where were you yesterday, you have to use men's or women's form for were.
This means it is not really possible to ignore it in direct interaction.

I'm not willing to pretend through language that I see him as a woman. I don't and won't. But I don't insist on calling him him. There are some not great alternatives (it, plural - with it's own verb forms, switching to English), but they are all very noticeable.

I'd like to find a solution for our coexistence in this friendship group. I'm not asking about a language solution here, more about an approach.

I'm considering

1. reaching him with a message, saying I've heard the news, and I can't affirm, but, I'd like to keep things civil, so is there some alternative we can agree on?

2. ingoring the issue and limiting communication on grammatically neutral constructions (which will be limiting and obvious after a time)

3. some other option?

To answer possible questions.

• I'm GC woman - in the adult human female sense, in the gender identity terminology I'd claim agender. I absolutely understand people are unhappy with gendered roles, I just don't believe that trying to become/pretend to be/claiming to be the other one is the solution. And I'm sure one can't change sex.

• It seems that majority of our shared friends are willing to be kind, some believe it, some just don't care, men with no skin in the game.

• *I'm elsewhere in EU, not a self-ID country. I don't ask about legal aspects, just personal approach. Discussing in my country's forums would be hard, as we are a small population.

• The group is about games, meeting at someone's home, so no issue with single sex spaces, and generally gender doesn't play a role in the group's activities.

• Yes, I'd like to try to keep the group if possible. I see it as a political topic and I don't need to discuss politics all the time.

• Edit to add : I've name changed for this one. Sorry it is long. And yay, I've managed to force the formatting to behave!

I actually don't need prostate cancer screenings anymore. After Sex Reassignment Surgery and enough Oestrogen it has reduced my chances to effectively zero. The only screenings I will need to get are breast cancer screenings.

Safety yes but all other factors , no

What "other factors" do you mean?

The fact you need to ask speaks volumes. Safety is not the sole and only concern of females

Transvestisism isn't gender non-conforming, it's conforming to gender constructs of the opposite sex. It literally requires gender constructs to exist and have meaning.

Actual gender non conforming is ignoring gender constructs and just wearing what you fancy.

Basically, gender non conforming is buying a fabulous dress and having the bust taken in to fit a male chest. Transvestisism is buying a fabulous dress and wearing fake tits to fill the bust.

I never lived life as a man or really even a boy. I transitioned before I was 18. I have no lived experience of "being male". I know what men are like because I've loved long enough as a woman to see what they've tried to do to me and my friends.

Back in the day I assumed that 'trans' meant homosexual transsexual and full genital removal. I guess I was a bit uneasy about them using female spaces but thought there must have been lots of research on how they posed absolutely no threat to women (naive, I know). Then along came the fetishists et al and I joined the GC battle. However, the opportunity that the online world has afforded us to listen to members of the HSTS community has convinced me that, beyond doubt, they have MAN written through them like a stick of rock and pose exactly as much danger to women and are as unlike women as any other man.

Only if you use a destabilised meaning of the word woman which then becomes a meaningless word. Because the word then includes male people.

In fact, in your use of the word, every single adult person on the planet is a woman.

Well done with that logic.

Oh dear your grasp on reality is slim. You lived as male from the moment of conception. Whatever clothing or surgery or hormones you are still male. Live whatever life you choose but you can’t escape biological or legal reality

You are misinformed. Oestrogen increases prostrate cancer risk.

Thanks for that. Just snorted tea everywhere LOL

You have only ever lived as a boy and a man. You life has been defined by the fact you are male.

I just don't tell people I'm transsexual anymore and no one can tell. I'm a woman and will be until my death.

I've never lived as a man, never have and never will. I was a girl, then a woman. My life has been defined by my womanhood.

That’s not quite the same though is it

You mean man. As for ‘no one can tell’…. You mean you surround yourself with people who have been coerced to play along or fear for their jobs.

I'm going to trust my endocrinologist, surgeon and the other medic professionals than someone obsessed weirdo on Mumsnet. Sorry!

Again, thank you for making it very clear how ideological the belief that a male person can be female is. But also, I think you have also shown very clearly that you have a philosophical belief that does not reflect material reality.

It has been a very good reminder that perhaps we all needed.

You are living life as a man now. Even your posting style screams ‘male’

No, I know no one can tell. You seem to think the whole world is secretly anti-trans too when really except you weirdos no one really cares.

https://prostatecanceruk.org/prostate-information-and-support/risk-and-symptoms/trans-women-and-prostate-cancer

Can I get prostate cancer?
Yes. Your risk may be lower if you’ve taken feminising hormones, or had gender affirming surgery that included an orchidectomy. But there is still a risk, so it’s important to know the risk factors and be aware of the symptoms.

Oh so we're gendering typing styles now? This is why we say gender critical is deeply anti feminist when you're trying to gender typing style OML

The ones who tell you you are a woman because you take oestrogen and have had cosmetic surgery? And make a pretty profit from doing so?

No, I know no one can tell.

Said no woman ever

Congrats on proving my point?