Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.

[CrocsNotDocs]

I can enjoy a good fart joke but this “hilarious” anecdote by cricket commentator David “Bumble” Lloyd left me cold. Men really have no idea of the fear women have of mixed sex facilities.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/3843028419327926/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e&fs=e

If the link doesn’t work, it’s a viral, supposedly hilarious account of David going into a mixed-sex loo for a poo and letting off a loud fart. The lady in the cubicle next to him calls out “Is that you Maureen”.

From David’s point of view, (and pretty much every man and “cool girl” on the planet) he thinks that Maureen must be such a regular farter that her friend thinks the fart noise just has to be her.

I suspect most women would read this situation differently- Maureen’s friend has realised she was half naked inches away from a strange man and is calling out anxiously to her friend to make sure she isn’t alone.

I’m wondering what this board’s thoughts would be. Am I just looking to hard into an anecdote or is men’s complete obliviousness a big issue when it comes to mixed sex facilities.

I don't find mixed sex loos terrifying. Not my first choice, but not terrifying.

If men are allowed in women's toilets we can't stop the predators coming in. If a woman is not allowed to complain about men in women's changing rooms we can't stop the predators coming in. Do you not understand that?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/12/23/council-gym-trans-row/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15254045/Los-Angeles-Gym-Lesbian-banned-trans.html

and many more.

I'm not terrified of mixed sex toilets, but I'm very uncomfortable with them and completely understand why some women might be afraid and self-exclude. Nothing pathetic about it, it is perfectly reasonable to want to be away from men when you are vulnerable and dealing with bodily functions. I have no desire to deal with perimenopausal flooding with men present. Any decent man would keep well out of a woman's space.

Shame on all these "cool girl" posters who are so keen to give our rights away.

It frustrates me that MN often feels like feminism has taken a step backwards. Really, it's 'terrifying' to share a loo with men? If you've experienced assault then yes absolutely, but otherwise?

Someone here said the wall between the mens and women's loos was too thin and men could hear you opening a period product. God forbid! Yes women have periods it's a fact of life! Why should we be ashamed of it? Oh dear it's my womanly time, best not let the menfolk know of my shame.

Women are smart, capable, independent, assertive. We shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves. And we should be realistic about where the real dangers lie, statistically very few assaults happen in loos.

I'm not trying to deny anyone their opinion. But there is SO MUCH conversation about toilets! Imagine if that energy was put into the statistically most risky areas, maybe we'd see real change. But instead let's just spread a narrative that women are scared little weaklings who should hide their bodies away shall we.

Did you let them know? Its always good to leave feedback.

This.

Plus the fact that we shouldn't have to justify - yet again - why we want or need them. And parade our trauma or fears to explain ourselves.

Am I to assume from so many dismissing the need for single sex toilets that no body has to take their babies / toddlers into the toilet when they go anymore? Or that women don’t have breast leaks anymore? Do women not go back to work while breastfeeding? Do women not have to deal with children’s vomit on their clothes anymore?

Are women not experiencing this any more? Are they getting support so they don’t have experience it? Or is it that women don’t discuss this anymore?

Shame on all these "cool girl" posters who are so keen to give our rights away.

Given our rights away? I want the opposite!! Be loud, take up space, assert yourself, don't cater to men or change your behaviour because there's a man nearby. Screw him!

All this talk of needing special spaces because we're oh so terrified, feels like we're taking our own right away, segregating ourselves.

Not only have we had ‘your house has mixed sex loos’ we’ve also managed a ‘if men are going to assault you they’ll do it anyway and not in a loo’ as reasons to let men into spaces that women might want for themselves, for the minor problems of dignity and privacy at the very least.

Well done! Didn’t think my laugh inducing bingo card was going to be ticked twice, and before midday! If you’re cool with mixed sex toilets then well done you, you are very cool and inclusive. Loads don’t though.

N.B if a burglar wanted to burgle your house they will. You don’t stop locking your doors and do away with ring doorbells as a result.

The thing is stats showing the number of women assaulted is quite high. So saying 'unless you've been assaulted' is like 1 in 4 women over 16 or even higher depending on what stats you look at.

Well good for you! Well done on dismissing other people’s needs.

Yes, if your feminism is based on this dismissal, and you think this dismissal is progressive, then feminism absolutely has gone backwards. Well done, you!

I have been sexually assaulted by a man in a women's toilet. Do I need to relive that trauma for you so you can maybe understand why some women have a problem with men in women's spaces?

Nobody is spreading any narrative that "women are scared little weaklings who should hide their bodies away". If you see the issue as that then that says a lot about you.

Yeah tell that to the victims of sexual assault and see how you get on. You aren’t/weren’t being assertive enough silly women! Take the power back! Be LOUDER! 🙄

Think about how you might be verging on victim blaming here

wow. So empowering!

Hey women, do you feel empowered by having your needs dismissed and deprioritised because someone thinks we should just abandon our needs for privacy and dignity?

Screw him?

nah. Your posts are ‘screw her that has different needs to you’.

Gosh I didn't think encouraging women to just live their lives regardless of men would never so controversial. Never mind, I guess women should just be seen and not heard. Maybe not seen, maybe we should leave the workforce entirely? Maybe just never leave the house? It'll be safer that way.

Who has "dismissed" the need for single sex loos please?

Saying "I don't find mixed sex loos terrifying" does not equal "we don't need single sex loos".

I agree with this. I think we should have single sex spaces. I just don't like saying it's because we're terrified of men or because they god forbid might hear us opening a period product

Indeed!!

Women abandon your needs because they are silly !

You do you.

Have you got a way, a programme, a certain medication that is going to fix every woman not womaning to your standards, who has been traumatised, who has a history that you don't? Is it going to be free? How are you going to roll it out?

And until you've fixed all other women to your satisfaction, would you mind if they still have accessible spaces and services and resources?

While those services exist you're going to be a bit miffed about your personal principles. Without them, those women won't be miffed, they'll be without refuges, rape crisis services, changing rooms and loos. It's a bit more serious for them.

I'm not sure the lack of empathy, compassion, understanding of trauma and sexual violence and culture and other issues that prevent women embracing men in their spaces (which is solely for the convenience and benefit of the men) is very feminist either. It's appalling to expect women to have to try to beg access by trying to convince those with no knowledge or care for these kind of needs through disclosing their very personal information. Particularly when they know they will be met with derision, dismissal and scorn for being so weak.

Gosh, such hyperbole.
No one has suggested any of this. We simply want you to consider another perspective, which you clearly can't.

Absolutely nowhere have I victim blamed. In fact basically the opposite. I said if a man wants to assault someone he's going to regardless of if it's a single sex space. It's all on them.

I hate them. They smell so much. I could do without the pee spray on the seat and floor. I don’t feel safe. My 16 year old daughter hates them equally for the above reasons. I’d rather queue. For the record I also have a teenage son too and Hubbie. But public toilets with men… no thanks.

I didn't have a problem with mixed sex toilets until I read posts by @keeptoiletssafe

The problem is that you have to make a choice between compromising privacy or safety.

Nothing like continuing to dismiss other women’s needs because you consider them not worthy.

So feminist of you.