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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.

519 replies

CrocsNotDocs · 29/12/2025 06:56

I can enjoy a good fart joke but this “hilarious” anecdote by cricket commentator David “Bumble” Lloyd left me cold. Men really have no idea of the fear women have of mixed sex facilities.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/3843028419327926/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e&fs=e

If the link doesn’t work, it’s a viral, supposedly hilarious account of David going into a mixed-sex loo for a poo and letting off a loud fart. The lady in the cubicle next to him calls out “Is that you Maureen”.

From David’s point of view, (and pretty much every man and “cool girl” on the planet) he thinks that Maureen must be such a regular farter that her friend thinks the fart noise just has to be her.

I suspect most women would read this situation differently- Maureen’s friend has realised she was half naked inches away from a strange man and is calling out anxiously to her friend to make sure she isn’t alone.

I’m wondering what this board’s thoughts would be. Am I just looking to hard into an anecdote or is men’s complete obliviousness a big issue when it comes to mixed sex facilities.

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KnottyAuty · 29/12/2025 11:08

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christmassytimeagain · 29/12/2025 11:09

We have mixed sex loo at work. I can’t say I’ve ever felt remotely uncomfortable or given them a moments thought. I rarely see anyone else in them. They do have private basins in each one and no gaps between them though

flattonicwater · 29/12/2025 11:09

‘I don’t understand why I should be more worried about locking the front door at night than locking it in the day!’

‘I don’t understand why I should be more worried about letting my kids go off with people I don’t know, rather than people I do know!’

‘I don’t understand why I should be more worried about looking both ways, instead of just one way, when crossing the road!’

Hoppinggreen · 29/12/2025 11:10

Why would any woman LIKE mixed sex toilets?

SharonEllis · 29/12/2025 11:10

christmassytimeagain · 29/12/2025 11:09

We have mixed sex loo at work. I can’t say I’ve ever felt remotely uncomfortable or given them a moments thought. I rarely see anyone else in them. They do have private basins in each one and no gaps between them though

Presumably you know your colleagues and can report any inappropriate behaviour to a range of people, your manager, their manager, HR?

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 29/12/2025 11:11

InfoSecInTheCity · 29/12/2025 11:03

And you won’t mind sharing your address so we can make it known that all and sundry are welcome to use it?

It would honestly be very helpful if all the people who say this would part with their address so i could use them if i was in the neighborhood…much nicer to use a nice loo than some of the public ones

the joke is funny but it would be funny if it was a woman saying it, i understand what posters are saying about a different meaning if its said by a man

individual cubicles like in a coffee shop are fine obviously, but there should be provision for single sex use in larger places, shopping centres, schools, cinema etc as well

i do NOT like the ladies loo being made mixed sex….fucking awful

KnottyAuty · 29/12/2025 11:13

SharonEllis · 29/12/2025 11:10

Presumably you know your colleagues and can report any inappropriate behaviour to a range of people, your manager, their manager, HR?

And it’s likely a professional setting or somewhere with a female heavy staff or the loos are in a place where they are reasonably well monitored passively by others.

I doubt this PP works alone in an isolated site im a male dominated environment with loos down a long quiet corridor.

Honestly some people are empathy free zones. I find this very disturbing

5128gap · 29/12/2025 11:13

So basically a man uses the opportunity of a mixed sex toilet to make a purile joke about a 'Maureen' (older woman's) bodily functions? Great.

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 11:16

Just a reminder of how female toilet spaces are used and why single mixed sex cubicles should not be accepted as the only toilets available in areas outside of very small businesses.

Toilets are not just used behind a closed cubicle door. There are quite a few aspects of female toilet usage that happen in the public space, or even now still occur with a toilet door jammed open.

Don’t forget there is the safety aspect where people may rely on the gaps under doors and walls for their safety. We already had someone mention helping a woman who was on the floor that they could see because of the gap. We have had others on other threads point out that they feel safer with gaps after being attacked in mixed sex toilets that are fully enclosed and no one could see them.

From my personal experience here is a list.

I have had to use the toilet while having a pram / pushchair jammed into the door with groceries.

I have had to have my mum use the public toilet because the disable toilet was not available and had her wheelchair jammed in the door because I couldn't leave her sit to move it and shut the door.

I have had breastmilk leaks / children's vomit / food spilled on my clothes and needed to have an unbuttoned top to dry the top under the hand drier.

I have come across other women quite regularly washing out their tops or their skirts etc and drying them enough to put back on .

I have friends who have miscarried in toilets and needed assistance and for that to be female people to make it more comfortable.

Even with mixed sex cubicles with basins, they don’t usually have the space needed for prams. And if a woman is trying to dry themselves using a drier in the cubicle, it restricts traffic flow. Even if it is just internal pressure that she feels, there will be pressure on her to leave the cubicle quickly. In an open space she will less inclined to feel that pressure.

If you as a female person have not experienced these issues, that doesn't mean it is not happening. I am glad that you have never needed to do this things, it is uncomfortable and can be quite humiliating. But at least, in a female only toilet, it is a little better.

I think when people think of toilet usage, maybe they have never had to use the toilets in any other way other than behind a closed door. That is a privilege in that respect.
But the needs are still there and they are real for many female people to be able to engage in public life.

To allow any male person toileting spaces (over the age of about 8 years old) removes some of the usability of this space for female people.

Demanding that all toilets are changed into single cubicles doesn’t mean that the issues where women and girls need the extra space and privacy for everyday occurrences go away. That style of toilet means female people will just self exclude because of a loss of provision.

So who benefits here from allowing a group of male people to access a female single sex space or from
allowing all toilet provision to become mixed sex cubicles?

timeforcoffeee · 29/12/2025 11:19

I don’t like the idea that woman know it’s a mixed sex toilet so if they choose to use it they shouldn’t have a problem as it’s basically saying if you don’t want to share personal space with men then don’t have the use of a toilet because that’s your options.

SwirlyGates · 29/12/2025 11:27

hafflesnaffle · 29/12/2025 10:27

Every home has a mixed sex toilet!

Don't be ridiculous. A house toilet is shared only with family members and invited guests - none of my family or friends are rapists, abusers, or voyeurs. Oh, and none of them pee all over the seat and leave it for the next person to clear up.

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 11:27

christmassytimeagain · 29/12/2025 11:09

We have mixed sex loo at work. I can’t say I’ve ever felt remotely uncomfortable or given them a moments thought. I rarely see anyone else in them. They do have private basins in each one and no gaps between them though

Good for you. I am glad.

I have worked in busy offices with same sex toilets that generally had people already in cubicles. The men’s was a flimsy plasterboard wall away. There was no sound privacy at all, but at least you didn’t have men knowing who was unwrapping period products in the next cubicle. Or who had morning sickness and was vomiting. Or any number of things that you were uncomfortable having other women knowing but feeling even worse having your male colleagues know.

WhatNoRaisins · 29/12/2025 11:27

For me it's also that I really don't want to be around toileting men, even my own DH. Yes me and DH share a toilet at home but I'll have a go at him if he doesn't bother to lock the door and I walk in on him. Was at a museum a while back with mixed sex toilets and I just felt revulsion at the though of being that close to pissing men.

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 11:28

flattonicwater · 29/12/2025 11:23

a thread to assist the few posters on here who might need some help with being considerate of other women’s situations:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3203454-What-do-you-use-the-womens-toilets-for

Thanks. I hadn’t read this before!!

5128gap · 29/12/2025 11:34

timeforcoffeee · 29/12/2025 11:19

I don’t like the idea that woman know it’s a mixed sex toilet so if they choose to use it they shouldn’t have a problem as it’s basically saying if you don’t want to share personal space with men then don’t have the use of a toilet because that’s your options.

Agree. Using a toilet is not a thing of choice. If we are to go out and about it is a necessity. If our only option is a mixed sex facility we have no choice. Being forced to use a mixed sex facility should never to framed as consent.

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 11:34

hafflesnaffle · 29/12/2025 10:27

Every home has a mixed sex toilet!

😂

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 11:40

I have had to express breastmilk in a work situation in a mixed sex toilet.

That is fucking hard work when your body is so tensed up with the discomfort of it all. But I had to express and dump because I was away from my baby.

But apparently, women like me don’t deserve single sex toilets and it seems from this thread that we don’t deserve privacy and dignity and we should have our needs dismissed.

newbluesofa · 29/12/2025 11:40

Mixed sex toilets are not 'terrifying' for women, saying so makes us look absolutely pathetic. I do not care about mixed sex loos. If a man wants to assault a woman he's going to do it regardless. Most assaults are committed by a man known by the woman. There are bigger issues than toilets and I'm fed up of it being such a focus.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 29/12/2025 11:41

Theeyeballsinthesky · 29/12/2025 09:49

If a mixed sex toilet is clearly labelled mixed sex then that is entirely different from a toilet labelled women's which lets in men

I think this story is bollocks btw. It's a typical bumble 'anecdote' told for laughs. I don't know a single woman who hearing someone fart in the next door toilet would yell out "is that you (insert name here)?" In my experience men find farting intrinsically and endlessly hilarious in a way that women just don't

As evidenced by the way these men fell about laughing like a bunch of six year olds when he said: "I did an enormous fart"
These purportedly grown adult men ffs. He hadn't even got to the punchline.

Echobelly · 29/12/2025 11:42

I have no problem with mixed sex loos at all.

Hoppinggreen · 29/12/2025 11:44

Echobelly · 29/12/2025 11:42

I have no problem with mixed sex loos at all.

Thats nice for you, many do

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 11:45

newbluesofa · 29/12/2025 11:40

Mixed sex toilets are not 'terrifying' for women, saying so makes us look absolutely pathetic. I do not care about mixed sex loos. If a man wants to assault a woman he's going to do it regardless. Most assaults are committed by a man known by the woman. There are bigger issues than toilets and I'm fed up of it being such a focus.

Gosh women!

Stay focused on the things that others define as being more important rather than working on as many issues as we want to or feel are important to us! Put yourselves down the priority list because someone else has dismissed your need as unimportant to discuss.

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 11:49

newbluesofa · 29/12/2025 11:40

Mixed sex toilets are not 'terrifying' for women, saying so makes us look absolutely pathetic. I do not care about mixed sex loos. If a man wants to assault a woman he's going to do it regardless. Most assaults are committed by a man known by the woman. There are bigger issues than toilets and I'm fed up of it being such a focus.

I couldn't give a fuck how it "makes us look" 🙄

You clicked on a thread about toilets that is on the Feminism board AND you responded. And yet you're fed up of the focus on it...

Fearfulsaints · 29/12/2025 11:50

I never know why my not caring that much about it trumps someone else who does care. Why do I get to give away someone elses safety net

If i am bothered by a mixed sex toilet, its not normally fear but dignity? for want of a better word. I have terrible problems from fibroids. I just want to deal with it without a male audience sometimes.