Advice please - TIM teacher just arrived at DD’s school

[KnottyAuty]

DD reports that the new teacher has asked to be referred to as she/her and Ms Smith. They are obviously male. DD isn’t happy about the power imbalance of potential behaviour points and detentions for non compliance.

I’ve got no idea how to advice DD how to handle this but obviously know from reading here that using this language is a safeguarding problem. Ms Smith should follow the same rules as all the other male teachers. If everyone must use this language, then it looks like the school is unable to tolerate GC beliefs.

Suggesting that DD respectfully avoids pronouns doesn’t seem workable as using the teacher’s name will include “Miss”….

Is there a gender neutral way of referring to a teacher like “Professor”?!

What do I advise DD so she can work within her GC beliefs? And what should I write to the school to say about this?

eta clarification

Incredibly inappropriate to hire him in this job.

She should just avoid using a title but don't worry if she slips up and correctly genders him.

This isn't really comparable to any of the other examples some posters seems to be hinting at - using natural language to refer to a man as a woman isn't a social courtesy and in any case it's disrespectful for this man to claim to be a woman - there is no entitlement to respect that.

No, I'm really not. It seems like there are a lot of people with an unhealthy hatred of trans people here. It is as weird as it is sad. Please don't quote me again. I have no conversation with you.

I'd be angry at coerced language that forces children to pretend a man is a woman.

Your DD and the other children should not be having to agonise over what to call this man, or giving up the brainpower it takes to remember to use wrong sex pronouns when they are supposed to be there to learn. None of this is ok. If this male teacher enforces this, he is putting his personal life preferences over the education of his students.

Pronouns are Rohypnol - Uncommon Ground Media

I'd also be concerned where the line for the school is. Forcing children to comply with wrong sex pronouns would be bad enough, but will they be treating this male teacher as if he were a female teacher in other ways?

Are you saying that all trans people just have a fetish? Is that just trans women, or trans men too? Please make it clear what you are saying.

Oy mate.

The gig is up for the gender ideologues and their tactics of accusations of bigotry against the majority who don’t want to play along with this anymore. This isn’t 2021.

I think this is the most practical suggestion. DD is still being polite. It's then up to the teacher to decide whether to push things - and if that happens I'd be escalating to the headteacher.

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/trolls

Back to the question, @KnottyAuty. It’s very old fashioned but your daughter could just address him as Teacher. “Excuse me, Teacher. Thank you Teacher”. It’s definitely gender neutral, it is what he is and has a nice formality about it. (It would be interesting to see how many students take it up).

And it avoids saying that which every fibre of her being is screaming at her about.

Trans men exist! If what you're saying can't apply to trans men, then it is bullshit

It’s abit of an “I am Spartacus” moment though Jadesquid - are you trying to say the vast majority of us parents who are uncomfortable with this are all trolls then?!

I think trans identified men have different reasons than trans identified women for deciding to be trans. It's really sad that men dont need to do very much but the women feel compelled to cut off their healthy breasts.

The thing for me about using neutral alternatives like "excuse me", or "teacher" is again the having to do the mental gymnastics to go against the natural instinct to address a teacher by the correct sex pronouns.

Why should children who are there to learn, be forced into contorting themselves to either comply, or toe the neutral or "respectful" line?

The male teacher brings his whole self 🙄to class and the children have to accommodate him, diverting their brains from learning, and with the possible threat of punishment if they make a mistake or don't comply.

How about Mx?
Not female or male (kind of made up really)
Or just Excuse me
Or Oi mate

This person is not entitled to be addressed as Ms. Ms is a female title. The correct pronouns are male ones.
Pretending that a man can become a woman is a safeguarding risk as well as being materially impossible. Schools should not be enabling this anti-science, morally dubious nonsense.

I think that acknowledging Miss Smith is a biological male, albeit living a female identity, shouldn't be given sex-dependent roles such as accessing female accommodation on a school trip or housemistress etc, is GC. Refusing to call a trans person by their preferred name and pronoun is just transphobic.

If your DD is going to uni I would expect she will find herself heavily ostracised if she won't respect that lots of people want to live as different genders to their sex.

NB Is this a new teacher to the school - do you know it's a man?

Men and women are different. When they identify as the opposite gender they remain different. Trans identified men retain the male pattern of violent and sexual offending. Trans identified women retain the female pattern although there is some evidence that taking testosterone makes women more violent.

The point isnt about your opinions on trans men. The point is that trans men exist. There are also people born female who feel that they are male. So unless your sexual fetishist theories and whatever else you say about trans people can also be said of trans men, then it is just bigoted bullshit.

I don't think you can. GC beliefs mean DD is free to believe the teacher is a man, and the law gives you the right to to protest on her behalf if he is not acting as such where sex matters. For example if he is using female spaces.
Using his name of choice is unlikely to be seen as anything more than a courtesy that he has the right to, and DD can avoid pronouns.
The protection of GC belief isn't a means to deliberately go out of one's way to demonstrate that one sees the TIM as a man, and a level of social courtesy such as using his chosen name isn't unreasonable.
I'd personally wait and see if the situation causes any instances that contravene the EA, rather than focus on DDs rights to make it plain she she's him as a man, as the first has more weight.

Agree to disagree! Have a great day

once again you totally confuse gender critical with its actual opposite - believing level of conformity to gender stereotypes define your sex. I’d say it’s a difficult mistake to make but you keep proving me wrong.