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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
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7
TheKeatingFive · 06/09/2025 12:16

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:10

Yeah, the Cass report doesn't work as some sort of shibboleth for me given how discredited it is by multiple international expert groups, so argument by appeal to authority really doesn't work here.

As to the substance, the whole schtick on here is all about 'medicalisation' of children. Children are not on any sort of medical pathway without a diagnosis, and no child is getting a diagnosis on the basis of playing with dolls.

Oh please. The only people who think they've 'discredited' the Cass report are the people who've been making big bucks out of transing children so have everything to lose.

And we have Helen Webberly providing people with hormones over the internet, so your second point is nonsense also.

We also have multiple stories of detransitioners that show how totally flimsy any 'diagnostic' criteria was for them, before the doctors dished out synthetic hormones like smarties.

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:17

Wornouttoday · 06/09/2025 12:05

Small children who are at the stage of pushing cars around on the floor don’t yet have the cognitive skills to do what your final paragraph states. They play with whatever they find lying around or whatever they’re given.

Children know the core social markers that are ascribed based on genders from an incredibly young age - 3 or 4. That's when our son started declaring he didn't like pink because it was a girls colour (despite being raised in a family that places zero stock on gender stereotypes, being raised around all manner of toys and clothes).

Because that is the point that he learned that in this society, not liking pink was a way to communicate that he is a boy and not a girl.

He's not a boy because he told us he doesn't like pink. He told us he doesn't like pink because he's a boy, and that is one of the ways society has taught him to communicate that fact. That is a crucial distinction.

Similarly for a a child assigned male at birth who might not only prefer pink, but stridently insist on surrounding themselves with pink things and have a strong aversion to anything associated with boys. The logical link is not 'they like pink things ergo they are a girl', the logical link is 'they are very persistently and stridently linking themselves to things stereotypically feminine because that is the way society has taught them to communicate that they are a girl'. Even then, that in itself is not sufficient for a child to be trans (because there may well be other reasons for that strident preference or aversion. But when it gets to that level, it can be an indicator.

TheKeatingFive · 06/09/2025 12:18

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:17

Children know the core social markers that are ascribed based on genders from an incredibly young age - 3 or 4. That's when our son started declaring he didn't like pink because it was a girls colour (despite being raised in a family that places zero stock on gender stereotypes, being raised around all manner of toys and clothes).

Because that is the point that he learned that in this society, not liking pink was a way to communicate that he is a boy and not a girl.

He's not a boy because he told us he doesn't like pink. He told us he doesn't like pink because he's a boy, and that is one of the ways society has taught him to communicate that fact. That is a crucial distinction.

Similarly for a a child assigned male at birth who might not only prefer pink, but stridently insist on surrounding themselves with pink things and have a strong aversion to anything associated with boys. The logical link is not 'they like pink things ergo they are a girl', the logical link is 'they are very persistently and stridently linking themselves to things stereotypically feminine because that is the way society has taught them to communicate that they are a girl'. Even then, that in itself is not sufficient for a child to be trans (because there may well be other reasons for that strident preference or aversion. But when it gets to that level, it can be an indicator.

So did you trans your child then?

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:19

TheKeatingFive · 06/09/2025 12:16

Oh please. The only people who think they've 'discredited' the Cass report are the people who've been making big bucks out of transing children so have everything to lose.

And we have Helen Webberly providing people with hormones over the internet, so your second point is nonsense also.

We also have multiple stories of detransitioners that show how totally flimsy any 'diagnostic' criteria was for them, before the doctors dished out synthetic hormones like smarties.

'Multiple' stories of detransitioners.

What proportion of those who have transitioned? If medicalisation was on such a flimsy basis there would be far more than the handful of detransitioners globally who get trotted out to make the argument for transphobes.

TheKeatingFive · 06/09/2025 12:21

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:19

'Multiple' stories of detransitioners.

What proportion of those who have transitioned? If medicalisation was on such a flimsy basis there would be far more than the handful of detransitioners globally who get trotted out to make the argument for transphobes.

We have absolutely no idea how many detransitioners are out there, because gender services declined to keep proper records.

My cousin's child is a detransitioner. Literally no one has ever heard of her, she's not public in any way. God knows how many more like her are out there.

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:26

TheKeatingFive · 06/09/2025 12:18

So did you trans your child then?

Did I 'trans' my son who said he didn't like pink?

No. Because what he was communicating was that he was associating with markers of being a boy, so there is zero indication at all that my son is gender non-conforming, gender questioning, gender dysphoric or trans.

If it had been the opposite, and he indicated a mild preference for pink, say, would I then have 'transed' him? Also no, because that is not the sort of strident and persistent attempt to associate with things society has told him are markers for girls.

On the other hand, if he would only play with 'girls' toys, only wear 'girls' clothes or 'girls' colours, and had an extreme adverse reaction to anything associated with boys, that may well indicate that he is trying to communicate in the way society has taught him that he is a girl.

But even then it would only be one indicator. If unaccompanied by other indicators, it would still not be a basis to assume that he is trans. But if accompanied by other indicators, and his preference were to be treated as a girl, referred to with girls pronouns etc, then yes, at that point I would allow my son to present in a way that made his life easier and respected his own knowledge about himself. And if he changed his mind later, he would still have my full support. Because even at five, my son knows plenty about him and I have built a relationship with him of respecting that and only overriding when its essential for his wellbeing or safety.

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:27

TheKeatingFive · 06/09/2025 12:21

We have absolutely no idea how many detransitioners are out there, because gender services declined to keep proper records.

My cousin's child is a detransitioner. Literally no one has ever heard of her, she's not public in any way. God knows how many more like her are out there.

So how do you know that the 'multiple' detransitioners is sufficient to indicate a deficiency in applying diagnostic criteria?

I presume you don't think the fact that even one person regrets a medical treatment must mean that the whole system is broken? So what level of regret do you think is needed to turn a medical process from one which should be available to one that should not?

TheKeatingFive · 06/09/2025 12:29

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:27

So how do you know that the 'multiple' detransitioners is sufficient to indicate a deficiency in applying diagnostic criteria?

I presume you don't think the fact that even one person regrets a medical treatment must mean that the whole system is broken? So what level of regret do you think is needed to turn a medical process from one which should be available to one that should not?

I don't think any child should be subject to irreversible medical procedures, the long term consequences of which they cannot possible understand.

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:35

TheKeatingFive · 06/09/2025 12:29

I don't think any child should be subject to irreversible medical procedures, the long term consequences of which they cannot possible understand.

What, none?

YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 06/09/2025 12:48

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 10:26

So if you’re the parent of a trans kid and you’re in the public eye, and you’re supportive your options are:

  1. Hide them away and they are never seen. The Tennants have decided not to do that and there are lots of high profile do the same thing. Because trying to live your life where you are never seen with your kids is exhausting.
  2. Allow yourself to be seen with your kids but insist that there should be no visible indication of the fact that they are trans - that can be a T shirt or a lapel pin or just how they physically present.
  3. Allow them to express their identity and support them through that, and support them if and when that identity evolves.

1 is not likely to be sustainable - particularly if the kids themselves have aspirations to become actors. 2 is damaging to any sort of supportive and affirming parenting (which, let’s be honest, is people’s real issue here).

By the way, many of us who are gay will also know the ‘privacy of your own home’ approach to support. The parents who are nominally supportive but still describe partners as friends or just wish you wouldn’t draw attention to it by holding hands with a female partner etc. It is entirely welcome that the Tennants are not engaging in that sort of mealy mouthed support of their kids.

I do take your points on board and see what you’re saying. I suppose I am coming at it from the pov I think most celebs would benefit from not having their kids in the public eye regardless of sexual orientation, etc.

if they are going to have them in the public eye then I agree that 1 or 2 is not fair on the kid. But you can do 3 without making statements to the press about their sexuality or medical details. One of Angelina Jolie’s daughters went through a lengthy stage of dressing like a boy and being asked to be called John iirc. I have no idea if she identified as a boy or still identifies as a boy or whatever. But she wasn’t hidden away and that seems better to me. Nothing has been written down in black and white about her while still a kid.

TempestTost · 06/09/2025 13:08

teawamutu · 06/09/2025 11:45

Jack Green. Kai Shipley. Jazz Jennings. Three boys with feminine preferences, probably gay, with religious and/or homophobic parents.

All the deluded mad parents on r/cisparenttranskid who are changing a three-year-old's name and pronouns on the basis of toys and clothing preferences.

Deny it all you like, I'm going with the evidence, thanks.

I mean, Green and Jennings were tiny children. There's no reason to think they were gay. That idea is part of the thinking that's led to this nonsense. And they were both effectivly sterilised before puberty so they don't have any real sexuality now.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/09/2025 13:31

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:17

Children know the core social markers that are ascribed based on genders from an incredibly young age - 3 or 4. That's when our son started declaring he didn't like pink because it was a girls colour (despite being raised in a family that places zero stock on gender stereotypes, being raised around all manner of toys and clothes).

Because that is the point that he learned that in this society, not liking pink was a way to communicate that he is a boy and not a girl.

He's not a boy because he told us he doesn't like pink. He told us he doesn't like pink because he's a boy, and that is one of the ways society has taught him to communicate that fact. That is a crucial distinction.

Similarly for a a child assigned male at birth who might not only prefer pink, but stridently insist on surrounding themselves with pink things and have a strong aversion to anything associated with boys. The logical link is not 'they like pink things ergo they are a girl', the logical link is 'they are very persistently and stridently linking themselves to things stereotypically feminine because that is the way society has taught them to communicate that they are a girl'. Even then, that in itself is not sufficient for a child to be trans (because there may well be other reasons for that strident preference or aversion. But when it gets to that level, it can be an indicator.

I would take from your hypothetical scenario that the little boy was rejecting the male gender stereotypes being pushed on him. This isn't the same as believing himself to be female. A tiny child should be reassured that he is fine as he is, whatever his toy and clothing preferences. It's fine for a boy to like pink. He's still a boy and always will be.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 06/09/2025 14:16

ManteesRock · 05/09/2025 10:48

Funny that cause I knew my sexuality and identity younger than 9!
And if I a child at 9 can't know they're Gay or gender non confirmative then surely they can't know they're straight or gender confirmative?

They don't yet. That's kind of the point. That's why we wait and watch. Let them grow up first, then decide who they are/want to be. Gay, straight - even trans if they must. But kids know the grand sum of fuck all about these issues and should be left alone as far as "interventions" are concerned.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 06/09/2025 14:26

ManteesRock · 05/09/2025 11:27

At age 9 they aren't allowed to! FFS!

No. But they ARE allowed to start down that path that almost inevitably leads to that. More so when it's done in the public arena where its even harder to backtrack.

RedToothBrush · 06/09/2025 14:28

The Cass Review said affirmation was not a neutral act FOR A REASON.

There's numerous accounts from MNetters of them knowing a child who transitions and then moves school and detransitions at the same time.

The social pressure MATTERS.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 06/09/2025 15:07

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:17

Children know the core social markers that are ascribed based on genders from an incredibly young age - 3 or 4. That's when our son started declaring he didn't like pink because it was a girls colour (despite being raised in a family that places zero stock on gender stereotypes, being raised around all manner of toys and clothes).

Because that is the point that he learned that in this society, not liking pink was a way to communicate that he is a boy and not a girl.

He's not a boy because he told us he doesn't like pink. He told us he doesn't like pink because he's a boy, and that is one of the ways society has taught him to communicate that fact. That is a crucial distinction.

Similarly for a a child assigned male at birth who might not only prefer pink, but stridently insist on surrounding themselves with pink things and have a strong aversion to anything associated with boys. The logical link is not 'they like pink things ergo they are a girl', the logical link is 'they are very persistently and stridently linking themselves to things stereotypically feminine because that is the way society has taught them to communicate that they are a girl'. Even then, that in itself is not sufficient for a child to be trans (because there may well be other reasons for that strident preference or aversion. But when it gets to that level, it can be an indicator.

Cobblers!

Wornouttoday · 06/09/2025 15:37

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:17

Children know the core social markers that are ascribed based on genders from an incredibly young age - 3 or 4. That's when our son started declaring he didn't like pink because it was a girls colour (despite being raised in a family that places zero stock on gender stereotypes, being raised around all manner of toys and clothes).

Because that is the point that he learned that in this society, not liking pink was a way to communicate that he is a boy and not a girl.

He's not a boy because he told us he doesn't like pink. He told us he doesn't like pink because he's a boy, and that is one of the ways society has taught him to communicate that fact. That is a crucial distinction.

Similarly for a a child assigned male at birth who might not only prefer pink, but stridently insist on surrounding themselves with pink things and have a strong aversion to anything associated with boys. The logical link is not 'they like pink things ergo they are a girl', the logical link is 'they are very persistently and stridently linking themselves to things stereotypically feminine because that is the way society has taught them to communicate that they are a girl'. Even then, that in itself is not sufficient for a child to be trans (because there may well be other reasons for that strident preference or aversion. But when it gets to that level, it can be an indicator.

Whose theory of childhood development is this please?

So you have a daughter who as a small child made it clear she didn’t like pink and according to the theory here above this was her way of communicating that she didn’t want to be a girl?

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 15:43

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/09/2025 13:31

I would take from your hypothetical scenario that the little boy was rejecting the male gender stereotypes being pushed on him. This isn't the same as believing himself to be female. A tiny child should be reassured that he is fine as he is, whatever his toy and clothing preferences. It's fine for a boy to like pink. He's still a boy and always will be.

Sure, that is also a possible explanation. Which is why even the very extreme version of what I describe would not be sufficient on its own for a diagnosis of GD in children.

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 15:48

Wornouttoday · 06/09/2025 15:37

Whose theory of childhood development is this please?

So you have a daughter who as a small child made it clear she didn’t like pink and according to the theory here above this was her way of communicating that she didn’t want to be a girl?

No. Read what I wrote.

The indicator that may be a part of indicating gender dysphoria in a child is not just 'I don't really like this colour, I prefer this other colour'. It is a persistent and strident aversion to a colour on the basis that it is associated with a gender they don't identity with, and a corresponding and equally strident exclusive interest in things typically associated with a gender they do identify with.

That scenario, if combined with other indicators, may be an indication of gender dysphoria in a child.

Charabanc · 06/09/2025 16:31

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 12:10

Yeah, the Cass report doesn't work as some sort of shibboleth for me given how discredited it is by multiple international expert groups, so argument by appeal to authority really doesn't work here.

As to the substance, the whole schtick on here is all about 'medicalisation' of children. Children are not on any sort of medical pathway without a diagnosis, and no child is getting a diagnosis on the basis of playing with dolls.

Really? How do you think that Anne Health diagnose children?

https://www.anne.health/faqs/do-you-need-both-parents-consent-for-my-young-person-to-join-anne-health-and-start-a-medical-pathway

Do you need both parents’ consent for my young person to join Anne Health and start a medical pathway? — Anne - trans+ gender affirming healthcare

We only require one parent to consent to start treatment, and if the young person is Gillick Competent, they must also consent. Please refer to the here resource for further information.

https://www.anne.health/faqs/do-you-need-both-parents-consent-for-my-young-person-to-join-anne-health-and-start-a-medical-pathway

OP posts:
PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 16:53

I'm not clear that they do specifically offer diagnosis themselves, but their treatment is in line with WPATH, the relevant bit of which requires:

6.12.a- The adolescent meets the diagnostic criteria of gender incongruence as per the ICD-11 in situations where a diagnosis is necessary to access health care. In countries that have not implemented the latest ICD, other taxonomies may be used although efforts should be undertaken to utilize the latest ICD as soon as practicable.
6.12.b- The experience of gender diversity/incongruence is marked and sustained over time.
6.12.c- The adolescent demonstrates the emotional and cognitive maturity required to provide informed consent/assent for the treatment.
6.12.d- The adolescent’s mental health concerns (if any) that may interfere with diagnostic clarity, capacity to consent, and gender-affirming medical treatments have been addressed.
6.12.e- The adolescent has been informed of the reproductive effects, including the potential loss of fertility and the available options to preserve fertility, and these have been discussed in the context of the adolescent’s stage of pubertal development.
6.12.f- The adolescent has reached Tanner stage 2 of puberty for pubertal suppression to be initiated.
6.12.g- The adolescent had at least 12 months of gender-affirming hormone therapy or longer, if required, to achieve the desired surgical result for gender-affirming procedures, including breast augmentation, orchiectomy, vaginoplasty, hysterectomy, phalloplasty, metoidioplasty, and facial surgery as part of gender-affirming treatment unless hormone therapy is either not desired or is medically contraindicated.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 06/09/2025 16:58

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 16:53

I'm not clear that they do specifically offer diagnosis themselves, but their treatment is in line with WPATH, the relevant bit of which requires:

6.12.a- The adolescent meets the diagnostic criteria of gender incongruence as per the ICD-11 in situations where a diagnosis is necessary to access health care. In countries that have not implemented the latest ICD, other taxonomies may be used although efforts should be undertaken to utilize the latest ICD as soon as practicable.
6.12.b- The experience of gender diversity/incongruence is marked and sustained over time.
6.12.c- The adolescent demonstrates the emotional and cognitive maturity required to provide informed consent/assent for the treatment.
6.12.d- The adolescent’s mental health concerns (if any) that may interfere with diagnostic clarity, capacity to consent, and gender-affirming medical treatments have been addressed.
6.12.e- The adolescent has been informed of the reproductive effects, including the potential loss of fertility and the available options to preserve fertility, and these have been discussed in the context of the adolescent’s stage of pubertal development.
6.12.f- The adolescent has reached Tanner stage 2 of puberty for pubertal suppression to be initiated.
6.12.g- The adolescent had at least 12 months of gender-affirming hormone therapy or longer, if required, to achieve the desired surgical result for gender-affirming procedures, including breast augmentation, orchiectomy, vaginoplasty, hysterectomy, phalloplasty, metoidioplasty, and facial surgery as part of gender-affirming treatment unless hormone therapy is either not desired or is medically contraindicated.

WPATH? Seriously?!

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 17:07

The poster asked the diagnostic approach used by Anne Health. I provided the answer. The specific diagnostic criteria, is in line with WPATH as stated, is the diagnostic criteria for gender incongruence under ICD 11.

RedToothBrush · 06/09/2025 17:12

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 15:48

No. Read what I wrote.

The indicator that may be a part of indicating gender dysphoria in a child is not just 'I don't really like this colour, I prefer this other colour'. It is a persistent and strident aversion to a colour on the basis that it is associated with a gender they don't identity with, and a corresponding and equally strident exclusive interest in things typically associated with a gender they do identify with.

That scenario, if combined with other indicators, may be an indication of gender dysphoria in a child.

I refused to wear pink and black when I was a kid.
And dresses.

I had to wear one for the school play. I cried. A lot.

I just didn't like pink.

PlanetJanette · 06/09/2025 17:14

RedToothBrush · 06/09/2025 17:12

I refused to wear pink and black when I was a kid.
And dresses.

I had to wear one for the school play. I cried. A lot.

I just didn't like pink.

Ok.

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