What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex?

[FattyMcFattyArse]

I've been pondering this ever since the FWS decision and since I saw an obviously male transperson using the ladies at a service station. I initially froze and wanted to say something, but all my Britishness and female social conditioning made me just mutter under my breath and walk away in disgust.

What would you do?

What have you done?

What is the right thing to do?

They don't belong there, according to the law.

I know it's not. But I don't care about being in a cubicle in a unisex toilet, so I also don't care about who else is in a cubicle in a women's toilet. I'm aware other people don't feel the same but that's how I feel, so that's what I'd do. Nothing.

I'd think they were pretty stupid because the queue is always longer for the women's. I'd be annoyed they were increasing the queue if there were loads.

Tbf, I have used the men's before if the queue for the women's is too long.

How do you know that everyone else is OK with it? There are probably other women there who really dislike it, some might even be struggling because it triggers all their trauma responses due to things in their past they'd rather not talk about. But none of them are going to complain, for the same reason that you don't complain.

It's not fair, it's not right, and it IS harmful.

All these fucking DEI grifters should be sacked if they are going about deliberately breaching the Equality Act to the detriment of their female workforce. DEI my arse. There's no diversity, equality or inclusion about it. It's just special privileges for the rainbow people and everyone else can put up and shut up. Nothing equal about that.

The EA 2010 sets out what (broadly) ‘service providers’ and others are allowed to do, and not allowed to do, when choosing to offer or not to offer services to the public.

I agree a service provider can (and should) ask a man to leave a female toilet. I am just pointing out that if a man, for example, enters a female toilet, uses it, and leaves, I don’t think he has committed a crime under any UK law. That is not to say he should. He definitely shouldn’t. But the onus is on the provider of the toilets to make that clear.

This. Then complain to management.

Then you have to ask where do women and girls go to feel/be safe? If Men (the whole blasted lot of them) had both the men’s and the women’s facilities to swan in and out of. It is a particular type of man that is determined to transgress women’s boundaries. One that would make me very vigilant and uncomfortable.

I completely understand - but the fact that women are being put on this position by men and their handmaidens makes me fucking furious.

Mind your own business and stop thinking what other people might have between their legs?

I notice the cool girl here who are keen to let us know they struggle to understand the concept of single sex.

Depending on my mood and the situation I'd either ask them if theyve been transitioning long, or ask them why they are in the wrong toilets. Either way id report them.

Theres no way im letting a man think that he passes when hes in a female space. I know from reddit it upsets them when people notice either positively or negatively. Hopefully, itll stop them thinking they can get away with it. Next time it might be just them and a little girl in the toilet.

I can understand your position which is why I said before, I don't really know what the answer is then.

It's no good just one person like yourself standing up, you shouldn't have to be the scapegoat or collateral damage.

I do hope it gets resolved fairly and justly.

If you met them then you’d understand 😬 when the judgement discussed below came out they were all asking her if she was okay and saying how awful it was. Many of the younger staff often talk about how she has the same body as a female now after her treatments (apart from the fact she’s about 6’5 with huge hands and feet…) and they’re all on the DEI committee apart from one man. The DEI department is absolutely huge and trans rights are regularly being discussed. I absolutely know that I would be vilified if I openly expressed a different opinion, so I stay quiet to keep my job and my working relationships and I hope the tide turns soon. In the meantime, this particular trans woman is a non-threatening person so I guess that’s lucky. I actually agree with you - even if my first post didn’t read as such - but it is me that is backed into a corner at work and have to stay quiet.

And so is a transwoman. Whether or not he's scared of being in the men's, whether he's been beaten up 96 times in there, or maybe he just prefers the women's, it doesn't matter, he's still a man and shouldn't be in the women's toilets.

In that case it sounds like you work with a load of complete idiots and I feel sorry for you having to put up with such nonsense at work. People so open minded their brains have fallen out.

This is a fair assessment. I only joined 6 months ago and I’m on a 12 month contract so I’ll be looking to move on soon and leave them to it. I think the other big firms in this industry are much the same though

Ahh Chris, here you are. Wondered how long it would take you to turn up.

As has been explained to you time and time again, you have no legal right to be in women's toilets. I know it's tough to hear, but you just need to pull on your big boy pants and get on with it.

Don't be so ridiculous and non empathetic to others.

It's mostly what men do have between their legs which causes the fear amongst women. It's often used a weapon....

But the onus is on the provider of the toilets to make that clear.

It already is clear - "Men's toilets", or picture of a man = men only. "Women's toilets", or picture of a women = women only. That's it, that's all that is needed. Anyone who doesn't understand that is obtuse, or pretending not to know.

Without outing myself, I'm pretty publicly vocal on this topic. But for many and varied reasons, I wouldn't confront him. I would complain to whoever was in charge and whoever was above them, if they didn't take action. It may not be a criminal offence by the man, but it is a breach of the Equality Act 2010 by the service provider. The only way to stop the madness is to do something but I wouldn't be putting myself or my DD at risk of physical or verbal abuse.

But isn't it my business to consider where I feel safe, and where my dignity and privacy should be respected? Also according to the law. If my own personal space where I am undressing, or toiletting isn't what it says it is (male free) then surely it IS my business to be concerned about that?

Also, to reduce this to genitalia is missing a whole load of issues.

There are many different types of laws. Posters seem to think that everything has to come under criminal law - it doesn’t. Employment law or even health and safety law may be applicable.

It's very much my business if he uses that thing to rape me.

Ridiculous misogynist sentiment I'm so tired of hearing.

Women will stop caring that men have penises, when men stop using their penises to rape (and otherwise, intimidate, threaten and sexually assault) women. Women will stop caring that men can physically dominate them with ease, when men cease using that advantage to inflict the overwhelming majority of violence up to and including murder, against women and girls.

Until that day, the sex of the person you are sharing an enclosed private space with, possibly in a state of undress, remains extremely relevant to women and girls.

If mixed sex spaces are your utopia, take it up with men I think? It's their violent sexually aggressive behaviour which is the problem, not women wanting to protect themselves.

I agree. But I am just pointing out that the EA is not about what individuals (service users) should or shouldn’t do. It is about what service providers should and shouldn’t do.

I agree signs saying ‘men’ and ‘women’ are clear. But being deliberately obtuse and disobeying them is not, by itself, a crime.

For example, if a man entered an empty female changing room in a gym, changed, and left, then on the way out the gym owner could, and should, tell him not to do that. They could ban him if he continued, or argued. But if they called the police then the police would not arrest him just for having used the changing room.

Thank you @AloeVeraAloeFred

I'd probably take a photo, share it on Twitter with details of where and when this intrusion took place, and hope my tweet goes viral enough to get a response from whoever runs the facility.