What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex?

[FattyMcFattyArse]

I've been pondering this ever since the FWS decision and since I saw an obviously male transperson using the ladies at a service station. I initially froze and wanted to say something, but all my Britishness and female social conditioning made me just mutter under my breath and walk away in disgust.

What would you do?

What have you done?

What is the right thing to do?

They don't belong there, according to the law.

Yes, I have horrible thoughts at times about wishing these women who 'don't care' about other traumatised and vulnerable women would be 'hurt'

Ah. Very very telling. Interestingly, as a TRA, I do not wish harm to any TERF. (I appreciate you will interpret my views as harmful of course, but the 'wishing these women [..] would be hurt' doesn't pass through my brain.)

Yeah, see the transwoman in the ladies with me was at the sink, partially blocking my exit. While he masturbated. The locking cubicle was no protection at all.

How do you know who is a genuine man with a trans identity and a man pretending to be a man with a trans identity? Are there any clues? Neither of them should be there as neither is a woman.

I've recently been in this situation. The trans person was with their female friend, adjusting their make up at the mirror. I went to the loo, came out, washed my hands and left.

It wasn't no kind of a deal and I can't think of any reason for me to have behaved any differently.

Some women are fine with mixed sex toilets. Some aren't. We have single sex spaces for the latter, it's not rocket science.

If you're happy with mixed sex, use them. Men need to stay out of the spaces set aside for women.

The entire 80 pp Supreme Court judgement boils down to this: if something is marked as being for women, its for women, and men can't use it.

That's it.

It's very clear, and very simple.

So you don’t care that they’re breaking the law by being in there? How many other law breaking activities do you not care about?

Gut instinct: that's a bloke in a dress
Social conditioning thoughts: be kind, he's doing no harm

Social conditioning won. Then he sexually assaulted me with his penis.

This is the problem, all of the women who see no harm in a man just being in the womens toilets, justifying it by saying there were lots of women around, or they as adults weren't intimated, arent questioning if this man would act differently if it was just him and one woman or girl in the toilet.

We have single sex toilets for the safe and dignity of women and girls, and never so men can do their make up. Stop pretending that everything exists for the benefit of men.

It's very telling when someone belittles a trauma response.

Cubicles with locks make absolutely no difference.
A male could be waiting at the sinks for you to come out.

The ONLY safe way is for males to have no access to womens toilets AT ALL.

And if you were accosted whilst minding your own business?

On the few occasions it has happened to me , I have been surprised by the extent to which fear has kicked in. The first time discomfited me so much that I went home from a night out early.

There is a man who uses a particular weekend class at my local gym, and he would leave directly from the class. Then one day he went to the female changing room to get his stuff from the lockers and again I felt more scared than I ever thought I would. He’d chosen a locker which wasn’t in the adults only area, so was around lots of children changing for swimming. I now avoid that class, which I’m not proud of.

There's a name for these women nowadays.....
Handmaidens

I'm a lot more likely to be accosted in my own home by my husband. Statistically. Straw man argument.

Wishing harm on other women is acceptable now? As a trauma response?

I was once at work when two little girls (I'd say aged about 8/9) came racing out,telling me there was 'a man in the toilets'

I shot in and some bloke was in there,just wandering around,wearing a pink dress,cheap white tights,pink flats and a cheap wig and just touching everything with a huge smirk on his face

I asked him firmly to leave and got punched for it (by him) in the face

He actually contacted head office to complain about me (and got nowhere) and the police didn't want to know (I ended up going to hospital)

This was just after the ruling about single sex spaces

He'd seen the girls go in (this was caught on cctv) and followed them in

If they hadn't have shot out to tell me and their very angry parents,(rightly) god knows what would have happened

To be fair,99% of them do use the disabled (which is another tramping of disabled rights) but this one didn't and fully believed he was fine to use the ladies as 'that's his right as its his lady feelz'

He did say he'd 'never come back' which is a bonus (he's now banned)

It's disgusting,his rights trampled the rights of genuine women and girls

So I don't know what I'd do if I saw another in the wild,I don't want to put a member of staff in danger but I also have the right to use a single sex loo with out sharing it with a penis

Women have to do what the can to stay safe. If you dont feel comfortable using the facilities, of course its best to stay away.

What i think is bonkers are the women who've been condition to pretend that there isnt a man in the woman space - either because of 'gender', or keep their head down and pretend that they dont see it, but tell themselve its because they are liberal and are not just doing what men have told them to do.

Are these women going to be shocked or distress if a trans identifying woman is in the toilets? Im guessing not because they know these women are women in different clothes. But they are expecting me to believe that they really think a man in a dress is no longer a man?

What if he tried to prevent you from that?
It's possible.
And that's the risk....

Have you thought that that might be due to the fact that we dont just let any man climb into bed with us at night?

I’m an old bag with a big gob and have been known to pipe up when others are cowering. I’d probably say something like “you’re in the wrong toilets”, politely and calmly, and see what response I got. If there’s was aggression I’d leave and speak to staff. If I were with DSis we’d probably attempt to shame harder and be more vocal but still reasonable (imo!)

My double takes are as dramatic as anything Patricia Routledge can do. I dont have to say much to get the message across.

Employers are under a legal duty to provide single sex facilities for their staff.

Have you ever wondered why this man does not use the men's if all he wants to do is go to the toilet quietly.

You never really know what you'll do in any given situation until you're in it. A man accidentally walked into the women's toilets when I was away recently and the words 'this is the ladies. The men's toilet is over there.' were out of my mouth before I'd even thought about it. Maybe I'd react in the same way or maybe I wouldn't.

You just don't get it at all, do you?
But hey ho.......