The Bluestocking Pub - Withered Old Haggis edition.

[Boiledbeetle]

Previous thread 👇

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5387894-the-bluestocking-does-a-late-night-flit-again

Figured it was my turn for once!

Plus this way I beat the rush to the bar.

Now I must return to the previous thread to relocate my Tunnock's secret stash.

Serve yourselves until the bar gerbils arrive.

Thank you for clarifying that it's not a live puffin. That would be cruel. 😂

That’s true.

Perhaps we’re all better sticking to platonic relationships? I had to check, the women’s version of ‘fraternal love’ is ‘sororal love’. Lots of that for all women who need it here.

Yep Big Bertha is looking for a new squeeze. She's a bit sharp but I'm sure it would be great, might help improve her mood by bringing a new zest to her life after years alone in her cell.

I don't really want to be married to a skunk I suppose. I'm only really interested in hedgehogs and the occasional porcupine.

That's the spirit Lemon. It'd be like me marrying a hoopoe - totally unsuited!

Well, nobody's even offered to marry me.
Huh.
Puffin-sulk.

Actually not. Single puffling is the way to go.
Now, bar gerbil, please may I have a hot chocolate with all the trimmings?

@BeLemonNow so you thrive on prickly relationships? I was once tasked with writing about porcupines so here are some things you should maybe know about porcupines relationships. When female porcupines are ready to mate, they climb a tree and scream. When a male finds a receptive female, his courtship rituals can last for hours or even days. However, whether you would enjoy those is up to you. He stands on his hind legs, grunting, chattering his teeth, and sometimes spraying urine on her. He sometimes dances around her slowly, grunting.

Some of that, of course, bears similarities to some human behaviour, but you do you.

Well, I married a beetle. Or a potato, I'm not sure which.

Anyway, since we're all ladies, there won't be any offspring, so I wouldn't worry too much. Excuse me, I've just got to get back to my lab, I think something's someone's calling me.

Potato mode today. Like beetle mode but with extra chips

I was gobsmacked the first time I saw porcupines in a zoo. The board said ‘tree porcupine’ but I assumed that must mean they lived under trees - they just don’t look like climbers. Couldn’t see any. It was only on our second circuit I looked up and saw that, yup, they really do live in trees.

Oh.

Well that was a waste of a new dress.

(The ring is recycled from Android and mines wedding.)

Who are you calling a machine?

A machine????

No wonder it didn't last. A machine, I ask you.

If you change your mind, I'll marry you Fuzzy. I think we'd make a very striking couple!

Sorry my love 💓

That's better. Apology accepted, my little beetle-with-chips. ❤

Sounds a lot like my local pub on a Saturday night. Perhaps I'll pass

was once tasked with writing about porcupines

I bet you weren't expecting that knowledge to come in handy for dating advice on a feminist forum!

Here you go, Puffers. Will that do?

I was going to be doing some gardening today but unfortunately it's raining. I've got some chronic right paw issues so craft has had to stop for now.

Thanks for the love and sympathy all. It wasn't meant to be I guess as banned was deep down a skunk. I think it's under two weeks so can I apply to the gerbils for an annulment?

😂

Thanks for the proposals, chums, but I'll stick with the hot chocolate. Now that looks delicious.

If you slip Gussie a fiver she will fast track it for you.

Are you implying I don't look delicious in my new dress?

How very dare you!

Of course you do. But not as delicious as the hot chocolate.
Well, you did ask.

Was that hot chocolate for drinking or some sort of decadent spa experience? Taking the idea of bathing in asses milk to extraordinary heights (literally, with all that cream).

We do have a hot chocolate pool around somewhere, I needed it occasionally.