Is it ever acceptable for women to tell men to fuck off?

[RedToothBrush]

Or does it make us look unintelligent, unreasonable, unkind, irrational or uncouth so we shouldn't do it?

Should we care about this?

Men prefer simple, clear communication.

Is it acceptable? Let me count the ways ...

Don't wait up, I'll be some time.

Fuck The Fucking Fuckers!

Saying a polite ‘Get Lost’ does not have the same impact as Fuck Off!

😆 probably should check the poster - I’m aware of, and normally in full agreement with & appreciation of your views!

Let me rephrase, why on Earth are you asking?!

I’d tell anyone who pissed me off to fuck off,
man, woman or seagull.

Yes. Of course it’s sometimes necessary even though the man could turn violent as a result.

There’s a fuck ton of videos online where women or girls are harassed by men and they still won’t fuck off despite the woman or girl saying “leave me alone” or “no” more than a dozen times. Those men deserve a fuck off much sooner than the women say it.

Similar to a previous poster, I’d tried constantly to disengage with a man, trying to be conciliatory & reasonable. It was a serious situation, I’d had reason to report him to the police, they’d taken action.

Finally I wrote to him telling him to fuck off, that he was a fucking creep, & threatened him. I got a letter full of wounded feelings, & how could I possibly say those things. This was from a bloody stalker.

He eventually gave up.

Yes and men can tell women to fuck off too. Sometimes people act in a way where a fuck off is required.

I frequently tell wasps to fuck off. They may be male, I'm not getting close enough to find out. And pigeons.

And mosquitoes. Little whiny bastards.

Also slugs, but they don't pay any attention.

Well yeah it is. I'd more likely say it to a man than a woman. But also it's kind of unwise if you don't know them well as they could take it as aggressive to the point of retaliating with violence.

So I'd say only use it sparingly with people you know well and who will forgive you. Or understand why you said it.

I do it quite often to the men lecturing us. They don't expect it from women as it's regarded as an aggressive male act of establishing hierarchy. They usually are so shocked they are silent or leave.
As a lesbian I understand that men don't socially think like women.

Yes. Loud and clear. So they get the “hint”.

Some people choose not to swear, fair enough.

No.
Go away.
Drop dead.
Go to hell.
Piss off.
Fuck off.

Any and all of them are reasonable for women to say to men, should she feel the context requires it and her personal standard of language permits it. (Aaargh, grammar! But I want to centre a woman's personal choice in this.)

Or does it make us look unintelligent, unreasonable, unkind, irrational or uncouth so we shouldn't do it?

No. Though, again, it's the woman's personal standards that matter. Not whether she feels judged, but whether the words she chooses to say adequately express her feelings. Personally, I prefer go to hell over fuck off. (Though I admit FOTTFSOFATFOSM has its appeal.)

Should we care about this?

No.

Why do you ask?

Especially mosquitoes, the nasty fuckers 😡

There is a female Indian comedian Zarna Garg who has the definition of culture as the “things in society that the men in that society are comfortable with.”

I don’t think she is far off a universal definition of culture by any stretch.

With her definition it will always be wrong for women to tell men to Fuck off and men probably won’t like them telling other women to Fuck off either because it will hurt their expectations of what women should be saying.

Perfectly acceptable if necessary.

What's the situation OP?

In the ideal world I agree. But there are times when people claim not to understand or accept what you are saying, so if its necessary then those words need to be used to get the message across.

I usually aim for a gentle ODFOD but every once in a while I find that only "Fuck off to the far side of fuck you fucking annoying fucker" will do.

Yes

They need to to

Or at least, have the body language to say it

Why do I ask?

Well on another thread FWR was scolded for our tone and telling Nicola Sturgeon to fuck off because it leads to us looking like we are toxic and irrational and haven't got a reasonable argument by a poster named Aaron.

I firmly believe there are many situations where it is necessary to be blunt and to say fuck off for our safety as other forms of communication have been ignored.

I don't think we always even have to have a rational arguments. No should suffice, but having been in situations where men don't take no for an answer I do think it's fair to take the 'nuclear option' precisely because there's a filter that says unless woman gets angry they don't really mean it and can be somehow won around if a man keeps on.

It's always men who think women shouldnt be allowed to say no too. It's a form of social control that is particularly gendered. Women are not allowed to say fuck off in the same way as men. And this tends to be said by men for the benefit of men.

I thought it deserved its own thread for a bit of reflection on just how many ways women are controlled and aren't listened to because they have been so conditioned to be polite.

If polite worked all the time it'd be fair enough but unfortunately life isn't like that.

As a rule, I'm not a fan of tellin ganyone to fuck off. But there are situations where really, it is the only answer. And funnily enough, it seems to me, that it is MOST often that the need to tell someone to "Fuck off" is related to a man being a dick. Usually because the initial polite or even polite but firm responses are ignored more often by men.

A Few examples of when I have told a man to fuck off:

1- when being followed late at night by a man
2- when my abusive ex turned up at my front door repeatedly
3- when a man was staring at my then 12yo DD’s breasts

All justified and all instances where I would happily do the same thing again

Absolutely.

In recent years, I have seen a shocking amount of rudeness from men toward women in public. Chivalry is truly dead, but it goes beyond that.

One (of many!) example is that I was on holiday and at a pool. A family was taking up more than they needed, the kids never even used the chairs, and our family was stuck all sharing one chair. The wife announced they were leaving, started packing up, gathering the towels. As they were beside us, I quickly put one of our towels down on the now empty chair closest to me....and the husband started yelling at me. In front of his wife. In front of my husband. I politely explained that I thought they were leaving. He said, not right this second. Then he sat on that chair for the next thirty seconds until his children were 100% ready to leave, meanwhile the other three chairs his family were "using" sat empty at this point. He was so nasty and hostile toward me--all over a pool chair. In another generation, men wouldn't treat women that way. And in another generation, women might not have told men to F off either. But we are no longer in these times.

I wish I'd told that man to F off.

*I thought it deserved its own thread for a bit of reflection on just how many ways women are controlled and aren't listened to because they have been so conditioned to be polite.

If polite worked all the time it'd be fair enough but unfortunately life isn't like that.*

Agree.

Just think how being forthright or forceful is seen as assertive in men but aggression or hysteria in women.