The Bluestocking does a late night flit again

[Magpiecomplex]

New thread, you know the drill!

I have been to another Margaret’s funeral today, she was a customer, an avid gardener, in her day, and a powerful matriarch of the old school . I loved her vey much and she told me she loved me.

She was 92 when she died, her husband is now in a care home, I do there garden still, until the house is sold.

Her family all knew of me and were lovely to me today, i cried so much i was almost embaressed.

Hugs, Banned.

Always sad to lose an old friend. Sympathies, Banned. My first ex-sister-in-law died a couple of weeks ago - the funeral is tomorrow but in Yorkshire so I won't be able to go. I've known her since I was 10 and she was 18, and she was 83 when she died. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding to my brother. We had a lot of shared memories, though I rarely saw her in recent years because of distance, and when somebody you've known that long dies there is sense of losing not just the person but all the things that only you and she remember.

@Britinme

She is in my backpack,

As i trudge along the road

of life

of the beauty

that surrounds me

the misery and nonsense

that confronts me.

I seat myself for rest

on my journey in life

and i picnic on her wisdom

of mother and wife

🌷🪻🌻 to Banned and Brit.

For Margaret and all who loved her.

Sorry for your losses, Brit and Banned.
Beautiful words, Banned x

Such beautiful flowers and wonderful words. 💙

I’ve slept on and off most of the day and the pain is better managed.

The Walrus has been a great support all day, and my lovely SIL called me for a brief chat.

I have an appointment in the morning but then my job is to rest on my sofa for the next two weeks.

Beautiful poem Banned.

sending love

and also to Britinme

and another hug for Myrtle

I went to a funeral this afternoon, too. My friend’s husband, such a lovely, kind, gentle man: he had been in one hospital or another for almost a year.

to everyone

@AsWithGlad Sad

Lovely words @Banned.

This is one of those 'don't have words' moments, I'm just reflecting on the losses Stockingers have suffered, some very close, some unexpected, some at the end of a long and well-lived life, but all sad losses, and how we take care of each other virtually at such times.💙

After a while , we inevitably go back to the usual mixture of funniness and anecdote and trivia and fantasy, but there's always space for sharing troubles.

I'd like us to have a special room in the Bluestocking with shelves and little boxes decorated with 💙where you could place your sadnesses and bereavements and troubles, knowing that when it's all fun and games here again, it doesn't mean we have just moved on in a straight line and your troubles are completely forgotten about. We know they are still there... but look - here's a cute furry animal or an interestingly-shaped flower

I'd like to think that fun, games, sympathy and remembering can all go hand-in-hand, or little-furry-paw in little-furry-paw, in the Bluestocking.

Um... I've just realised that I followed 'don't have words' with a whole lot of .....words!

Love your thoughts Marie as always xx

I love this idea.

Maybe the room looks a bit like this?

Lovely words, Marie.💙

I've popped in for a spot of lunch and a good swear, if that's ok. Bar gerbil, could I have a chocolate milkshake and a platter of exciting cheese and crackers please. And then another chocolate milkshake 30 minutes later with a bowl of raspberries.

One of the blessings of a thread like this is that we have all these spaces where it’s ok to bring your sadnesses as well as your absurdities and have them all fit seamlessly together.

Candles!

Hope the healing is going well.

I'm glad you like the idea of the 💙boxes
It was motivated by being aware that when you've lost someone, people are very lovely to you for a while, and then life moves on around you, and although they still care, they may think it's best not to bring up your bereavement as it might upset you..

Some days that might be the right thing to do, other days you may feel like they're ignoring your loss and how it has changed you and your life.

Because mourning isn't linear, is it? some days you can feel strong and positive, and the next feel angry that the world seems to have erased all recollection of your dear lost one, and all awareness that you are still mourning, and in some deep place, always will be.

But here at the Bluestocking, we know you can be getting on with life, joining in the fun and games when you feel like it, but that doesn't mean the sadness has gone away. There's a place for it💙

I should have added candles to the picture!

Things feel a lot better. Not because the pain is better managed (though it is) or I'm better on crutches - I'm really not and actually fell in the middle of the night getting to the loo because I was so exhausted. I'm fine. The Walrus woke up and helped me out and I wasn't hurt.

It's because I have more information about what went on and no more obligations for a couple of weeks. I can just sit on my reclining sofa with my leg on three pillows, and sleep, and just be.

Feeling well rested because you've slept and because your mind isn't churning is so healing.

Exactly!

Glad you’re more comfortable in both body and mind, Myrtle.

The Bluestocking has rooms for all purposes, but also we may want some of those boxes near us, maybe on the shelves near the cosy fireplace. What @Britinmesaid, really.

Another of those excellent milkshakes please bar gerbil. Been a long three days back at work.

I finished today by writing out a list of everything I'm stressing about, so having got it out of my head hopefully I won't find myself ruminating on it in the middle of the night. I didn't actually head the piece of paper "Everything I'm stressing about", so when I wave it at my boss next week it merely looks like I'm a very efficient forward planner.