M&S apologises over trans employee in bra department (Telegraph)

[WimbledonWhites]

How many “cis” male members of staff do you suppose would approach teenage girls in the lingerie department?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/08/04/ms-apologises-over-trans-employee-in-bra-department/

https://archive.ph/nTDB9archive.ph/nTDB9

There is a trans woman who works in the women’s changing room in my local M&S.

Or
They could put up a sign which said the store reserve the right to throw people out of the store if they start asking young girls about their breast size?

(That opton may harm sales)

Off topic but I love that phrase, never heard it before!

Edited to say there’s another yet inaccurate comment in the post above mine. Nothing in the article suggested that this trans woman wanted to discuss breast size.

I do take your point but given that they were in the bra dept, it's unlikely they were wondering where the scarves are displayed or where the Food Hall might be... Talking about breasts is kind of baked in when you're shopping for bras.

Even if he wasn't talking about those things directly, it's still making women feel uncomfortable and putting them in a difficult position. And overriding the consent of others is a central tenet of paraphilias, of which autogynaephilia is one.

Which M&S is that, just so we all know where to avoid?

I completely agree with a PP who commented on the higher-number-than-you'd-expect of TIMs working in M&S. Almost as if they know this is a good place to work in order to get their rocks off validate their special lady feelz.

Wow. It goes without saying that it's totally inappropriate for a trans to be working in that department, I don't care what the employer has to say.
That's a deal breaker for their customers. 😏

Your partner would go into a lingerie department and ask a fourteen year old girl about bras would he? Perhaps the child could give him some advice do you think?

Yes. It is a rule.

The rule is that when you are in underwear departments don’t speak to children you don’t know about their underwear. It’s great that you are going to let your partner know this. ⭐️

"Edited to say there’s another yet inaccurate comment in the post above mine. Nothing in the article suggested that this trans woman wanted to discuss breast size."

So, a male person was asking if a teenager and her mother wanted help while they were looking for bras and you expect that if there was to be 'help' requested it would not involve any discussion around style or size of the product they were looking for?

Exactly what kind of 'help' do you think that those shopping would be asking for in a bra department that wouldn't involve any reference to size / style / usage?

Because they work there I imagine. Doesn't seem to be any implication they were doing anything other than the job they were hired to do.

I expect it has something to do with M&S having a reputation for being THE classic respectable British store that women buy their underwear from that has a special appeal in a way that Fat Face or Primark doesn’t.

I think for a lot of them it’s a luxury belief, some want to be seen as cool and progressive, and some of them have no experience of the issues so don’t see it as a problem. We have to remember that there were plenty of women who campaigned against women’s suffrage back in the day, same shit, different century.

This exactly why I wouldn’t take my 12yo dd to M&S for a bra fitting, the company has gone too far to the wrong side of women’s right to privacy and safety. I’d much rather buys different sizes online and send back what dosnt fit.

Doesn't seem to be any implication they were doing anything other than the job they were hired to do.

Really? Do you think they were hired to offer to help teenage girls in the bra dept?

Marks & Spencer has apologised to a mother for causing her teenage daughter “distress” after she was asked if she needed help by a trans employee in its bra section.

How was the male employee going to help with bra selection without discussing sizes?

There is no point in going into selling points about fabrics and colours without first knowing if the style is produced the girls size.

If working retail what size are you is a basic (safety) question never offer an opinion before being asked.

And do non-trans-identifying men also "help out" in the lingerie department by asking young girls if they need any help with their bra shopping?

No, thought not.

I mean even when it comes to nice men who want to buy a gift for their partner...

I'm quite evangelical about how women and girls should get a proper bra fitting, and could bore on for ages about how many women are wearing the wrong size and subjecting themselves to unnecessary discomfort. And that's just a matter of women going to a store and saying "yeah, that looks roughly the right size". You wouldn't take that approach to buying shoes.

Why on earth would you trust a man to buy a bra for you? He will invariably get it completely wrong.

Cross dressers also used to (and may still do, I stopped looking because it was grim) post reviews of underwear items making clear that they were men.

Ooh I do love a dose of false equivalence, deliberately misrepresenting what is being said and wilfully misunderstanding that your husband/partner approaching a female member of staff in the lingerie department asking for advice for a gift for you, is completely and utterly different from a man pretending to be a woman, who doesn’t work in the lingerie department, approaching a 14 year old girl and her mother offering to ‘help’ them.
But you already know that, no doubt you wish to come across as progressive. Let’s just ignore safeguarding and risk assessment. No wonder women and girls are very often not believed with attitudes like yours.

I think the Guardian “life” article where a man buying women’s underwear made very clear that he enjoyed making the female staff uncomfortable knowing they couldn’t say anything was posted upthread.

It’s always been my assumption that men who buy bras for women as gifts —for themself— don’t particularly want them to be comfortable enough to be worn for long.

Fair point!

Location maybe?

‘Where are the bras for teenagers?
‘They’re right over there.’

Clutching at straws here!

I did say in my previous comment that we can assume he approached for nefarious purposes, given that M&S staff don’t usually do this. But yeah, I picked the wrong thing here as an example of an inaccurate statement about the article. I got carried away by the fact that some earlier posters clearly hadn’t read it and were assuming that he had offered to measure the girl. My mistake.

So basically they'll keep doing what they're doing but now you can make a appointment to see a female member of staff ?

This whole thing is madness

I think some of the mums who transed their kids HAVE to believe it, the alternative it too awful to consider. I’m talking about the likes of Susie Green, Rowan Jette Knox etc who are zealots because they have to be.

I wonder if they still allow TIMs in the female changing rooms? I remember a lot of virtue signalling about it a few years ago, which is why I stopped shopping there.

From the one I've met, I think there's also an element of enjoying being the special parent - so brave, so progressive, so kind, that they not only affirmed their child (and demanded everyone else did too) but let them take damaging hormones in the name of even more affirmation.