What does your partner think?

[Loopinlouie92]

I’m GC and my boyfriend is more on the fence about things. I think both of us are usually quite good at managing differences of opinion. But this means a lot to me and I’m finding it really hard not having his support. I feel that it is creating a gulf between us. Does your partner also have GC views or do they think differently about things?

DH and both young adult kids are fully GC, although none of them are particularly keen to discuss it with me as apparently I go on a bit. Surely not. I do make them listen when important things come up, and DH posted the Supreme Court decision on his social media (he's quite active on SM, I'm not). I wondered how that would go, but all responses bar one were postive (and that one made no sense at all, something about male judges making decisions for women??). DH has asked me why women 'let this happen' (men in their toilets and changing rooms, men winning their medals and awards), I didn't really have an answer.

My DH and both our kids are as GC as I am. Oldest kid is late 20s, youngest is mid teens. Everyone voices their opinion and is unimpressed with where we’ve been on TRA rights, and we live in the US so we’re still dealing with some lunacy.

Im a registered Democrat, DH and eldest would say they’re libertarian but vote differently each time, youngest is leaning like a Democrat but not if the dems stay on this track. They all have no time for TRA extremism.

Just to pick up on your comment about Dr Upton crying. I saw the “sneering” as questioning what some think is performative. It’s thought that the Dr maybe spent up to 30mins searching for the senior consultant after leaving the nurse in the changing room. There are no witnesses (so far) to confirm this - which is odd in a busy department - we just know that the Dr was in floods of tears by the time of meeting Elsbeth Pitt. While I agree that men do have a lot more restrictions on their behaviour and clothing etc in this case there are questions about the timing & sincerity of the tears for believability of the evidence rather than acceptability from a male iyswim. Sorry for the digression

He may get a rude awakening if he finds his DDs have to share a dormitory with an intact male who says he's a 'girl'. One can but hope. 💐

My late DH was such.

It's not just to blame @donkey86 for her H's stupid beliefs nor staying with him if there are other factors in his favour. However, she should consider he is a safeguarding risk to their DDs if he thinks it is ok for a male to be in a female changing room exposing themselves. She should talk to him - not row - but point out that he is a safeguarding problem which means she cannot safely leave their DDs in his care especially in a setting where they may have to undress e.g. taking them swimming, gym etc.
Also, he gets agitated when she mentions GC beliefs so he knows, deep down, he is wrong. She should express her GC beliefs whenever the opportunities arise and certainly not conceal teaching DDs GC views.
He's an idiot. She should make this clear to him. He may leave, of course, or he may realise he is a prize idiot and change his mind.

DH is baffled that anyone would think TWAW, and is truly disgusted by the performative AGP male we sometimes have the misfortune to see around our locality, often to be seen doing a selfie photo shoot, or wearing floaty tennis skirts that just happen to get caught in the wind to show his frilly knickers.

I know the issue causes strong feelings on both sides, but I do not believe I could be married to anyone who thought otherwise.

DD thinks I’m a bigot and said she would be open to dating a trans person. She hadn’t actually met any in real life so I await the realisation of what that means.

The misogynistic intent of his 'crying' is obvious - he wanted to contrast with Peggie who stood up and complained, so he put on the 'poor wee man who knows he's really a woman - see, she's made him cry' act.
The class/heirarchy aspect is obvious. He ranks higher than Peggie on both counts and has been supported in this by women like Isla Bumba (?) who doesn't know whether she is a woman or not. (Do a cheek swab, ducks, that will tell you instantly.)

omg I actually couldn't imagine my boyfriend disagreeing w me on this. You ladies with DHs who are very staunchly TWAW - If I were you I would honestly be checking his search history because for a straight married man with kids to be staunchly and passionately TWAW...well, that would make me think maybe he's questioning his own gender.

Exactly. It's an important case and yet it is hardly to never mentioned on any mainstream media. If you didn't go on particular social media you would not know. Had a mind-blowing conversation with step-son and his partner the other day (both GC but not great readers etc). DiL had visited Brighton and it came up that all the toilets (bar one) was unisex, which she did not like. Step-son remarked that Trump had thrown men out of women's sports so his solution would work in the UK. DiL commented 'bloody UK!' i.e. this rubbish is supported here, so I chipped in with SC ruling, Peggie and Darlington nurses cases and said that the UK is in the forefront of the struggle against this rubbish: Terf Island. They did not know, because it doesn't turn up in mainstream media nor in social media that most people go on - it's on MN, on bits of Twitter/X, on parts of substack and you need to go looking for it.
I was a bit appalled but, on thinking about it, not surprised. And this is why the whole trans agenda has got so far; most ordinary people haven't a clue about what has happened and the damage it has done.

this is scaryyyyy. Check his search history.

DH was ahead of me. He is like @MrsTerryPratchett 's DH. He pointed out to me the problems when I was a staunch BeKinder (wasn't called that then but still existed), but I didn't really get it until I had children. Now we're completely on the same page.

Not true, we only have DS and DGS and my DH is fully on board with my GC view (although I love the Gender Atheist term from a PP 😀).
My DS do prove this point! One of my DS is a full on TRA and it’s the one subject we never discuss because he knows we’ll never agree.
The other just keeps quiet because he knows his DW and I will never agree (she went to school with a bloke who transed) and he doesn’t want to get caught in the cross fire! 🤣

My partner (man) is even more militant than me about the matter. Pointed out and challenged so many errors in his employer's (local gov) policies confusing sex and gender that he has now been added as a member of the women's network(!) so that he can be included to preview materials before issue. He is slowly radicalising all of his friends and admitted he has been less productive than usual this week as he has had one eye on the sandie peggie trial. Probably helps he has 2 daughter's one of which is gay

I’m so envious of those with partners who aren’t of the be kind twaw variety. I accept everyone has the right to their opinion, but it makes me sad (and angry if I’m honest). I’ve also had other people close to me telling me I’m a bigot and must be a trump supporter. I’m pretty left wing. I take great pleasure in making it known that my views seem to align with the morning star 😆

Lovely to hear and I’m sorry for your loss.

Mine is a sex realist. Like me. I couldn’t love him more when he expresses his disdain / disgust at men pretending to be women to get into women’s and girls’ spaces / sports / awards.
Present how you like, not anyone else’s business, but don’t expect to con the system or other people. Is what my husband thinks.

My DH and DCs are all sex realist, thank goodness. But DH does get a bit annoyed with me talking about it all the time

Really thought this thread was going to be about the hatred I have for people who ignore what you've decided or assume choices are too complex for you and ask what your male partner thinks!

Mine was initially bemused by my anger then something I said made his jaw drop. He has since done his own research and is also angry at how entrenched the lunacy is

We had an early awakening in the issues caused as we used to host overseas teenage foreign students. Dh didn’t love it but was my side hustle while a sahm. His rule was only girls as the room was next to our dds room. All fine. Until we were allotted a lad in eye shadow. Who was a girl apparently. Dh was absolutely furious plus worried about our liability as the eye shadow lad was sharing the room with a girl and they by were both under 16. Stopped hosting shortly after that.

My DH is very much for gender reality.
I knew he would be as it's just common sense.

My husband and I have a very close trans friend so we are on the same page, understand how difficult it can be for them and the transphobia they have encountered, I don't think I could be with anyone with substantially different views on the fundamentals

Men know perfectly well what a woman is when they’re looking to stick their dick into one.

Vanishingly few of them would accept one with a penis.

This is an interesting thread, thx for posting OP :-)

My husband is now very GC but it's been a journey getting there.
First he engaged on the topic philosophically but wasn't v interested and didn't think it an important issue and didn't understand why I was always going on about it.

We then discussed how it's fundamental to feminism and he took it more seriously; still with 1 foot in the Be Kind camp but agreed there shouldn't be men in women's prisons, changing rooms, sports etc, but he still felt there were times when it would Be Kind to be TWAW.

We've had many enjoyable discussions on the topic which have then derailed into politics, philosophy and lots of interesting stuff.

He is now very staunch GC, and as outraged as I am. Orgs like Lush and Amnesty who he used to support particularly piss him off.

Our DD is TWAW and we can't discuss it, it's too contentious and risks damaging relationships. I felt isolated at first when I was the only one in family going on about it so huge sympathy to those whose DH/DP isn't GC.