And aside from all the frothing about "bathrooms" and "they just want to pee"...
Female people exist. We aren't a bloodless sexless concept for expressing your inner self, we are real, embodied humans. We are half of humanity. And our bodies have consequences. They have physical consequences in where we are, overall, stronger and where we are, overall, weaker than men, and they have social consequences. Oh god, how they have social consequences. People like us are infantilised, patronised, fetishised, marginalised, exploited, abused, riciculed and dismissed because of our bodies and because of the higher burden of childcare and above all because of what society encodes on top of those things. Not all of us all of the time, but all of us some of the time and that fucking matters.
And so, after decades, centuries, of writing, and explaining, and researching, and explaining, and protesting, and explaining, and voting, and explaining, and apealling, and explaining, we got to the point where society broadly accepted we had, by and large, not been treated fairly and often still were not, and we had women-only spaces that sometimes are there to keep us safe or stop men imposing their sexual agression and entitlement on our bodies but often just give us space to remember who we are when we are not constantly having to fight encroaching, overtalking, overbearing men just to be seen and heard, and to talk to each other and recognise our own experiences in other women without being mediated and devalued and explained away by men.
And we had the understanding that if sometimes we need to be touched for care, or treatment, or security, we might prefer those hands to be another woman's because our relationship with our bodies and the touch of men is complicated by the knowledge of how men fetishise and fantasise about our bodies, and if sometimes we need to be supported or counseled and make ourselves vulnerable, we might prefer that to be with women only because our experiences with men and their ability to dominate us through physical, social or economic power can prevent us feeling safe with even the nicest of them.
And we had women only opportunities for us to reach our potential, whether in sports where even the best of us would otherwise by overshadowed by the default additional strength and power of men, or in culture, education and professions where training and networks focussed on women allowed us to support and mentor each other and escape the unconscious biases that obscure our abilities.
And these things fucking matter, and they are important and needed not because we feel like women on the inside but because being female bodied in this world has consequences
So it's not ok to decide some men are somehow, in some effable way, inside their male bodies just like us and have the same needs for these things and therefore a right to have them. Because whatever a trans woman feels about himself in his own head, out here in our reality, to the women in the spaces and opportunities he wants to impose himself into, when he plays sports his body is still a man's body , when he looks at us it's still a mans eyes looking, when he touches us it's still a man's hands touching us, when he talks over us and reshapes our experiences in a way that he prefers them to be, it's just a man doing the same thing men have done to us all our lives.
And I don't understand why these men, these "trans women", are so very important that we are supposed to throw away all this, all these things that are there for female people to deal with the consequences of being female, which is something trans women simply are not and can never be, challanges they simply do not have, for no other reason than because trans women apparently cannot accept that female people exist and have embodied and sex based needs that are nothing to do with the trans woman's personal experience of unbodied sexless "womanhood".