Living as a woman

[MissScarletInTheBallroom]

This is a thread for people to give examples of experiences which constitute "living as a woman".

I'll go first.

Peeing on a pregnant test and waiting anxiously to see whether a second line appears.

Periods, ivf, pregnancy, birth, endometriosis and now menopause. It’s bloody relentless.

Many of the things may be 'possible for both sexes' but are they equally likely to happen to both sexes?
Both sexes can become parents but it doesn't seem to impact the hiring of men the way it does women.

Perhaps you could give us some examples that have been used that that 'might' happen to the poor menz too.

'Being perceived as being female' is an interesting point, RunningforSam - the EA2010 covers 'Discrimination by perception', discriminating against someone because they are perceived as having protected characteristics, even if in fact they don't.

For example, a heterosexual woman who was once 'jokingly' referred to as a dyke in her workplace was so upset 'she excluded herself from office talk and would cry down the phone to her husband.'
The company said it was 'banter'. She left her job and sued for unfair dismissal and harassment related to sexual orientation - an example of 'discrimination by perception' because she is not in fact a lesbian.

She was awarded £15,406 compensation, £2,000 of that being for injury to feelings.

The judge was .....Alexander Kemp.
Woman who quit job after being called a 'd*ke' wins more than £15,000 | News UK | Metro News

Does it matter though?

A male person can experience the exact same experience, yet will only ever experience it as a male person, processing the experience from the perspective of a male person with a male body. Never as a female person with a female body.

Even if a male person has elected to make extreme body modifications to their body, their experiences are only ever within the male range of experiences. Never a female experience.

So, what does it matter if both sexes experience the same event, the impact on the female person will be unique in many ways compared to the male experience.

Being asked by my father "You're a girl, don't you like seeing the house all clean and tidy", when I wanted to know why my brother didn't have to help with household chores.

Being told by a manager "It doesn't matter if you are not clever, because you are pretty". I have multiple science-based degrees.

Being told by an aunt after my mother's death "You will have to look after the family now". All my siblings were adults at this point!

Prolapsed uterus, and the impact on my bladder.

Being made to feel guilty by my (now long time ex-) partner for failing to conceive - and then when I did, blame me for the sex of the resulting baby.

The joy of giving birth to beautiful children.

The relief of the end of periods when menopausal.

Having the ability to magically find things lost by my two sons (have never known a member of the male sex to have that ability :))

Finding lost things is one of my life-long super powers and something DH is hopeless at. He'll stand right in front of the 'lost' thing asking 'Where is x?' which is so frustrating.

Growing up poor and not being able to afford to buy sanitary products. Having to roll up a load of toilet paper and wedge it in your knickers because what else can you do 🤷‍♀️

No man will ever experience this, even the ones that are deluded enough to think themselves “biological” women 🙄

In reality though everything I do is “living as a woman”. I can be the most masculine looking woman going, doing the most stereotypically masculine things, and it will still be Womanly, because I’m female and a living breathing adult, and that is all that is required.

To what extent does sex play a role in processing experiences that are not directly related to sex? There are significant within sex differences as well as between sex differences in personality traits, life experiences and interests/ preferences.

I regularly attribute experiences as arising from sexism and/or misogyny, which is agreed with or disputed by both males and females. My feminist lens influences how I experience the world, just as ‘trad wife’ views influences others.

I think it’s difficult to categorically attribute differences to sex where sexed bodies are not a definitive factor.

I think it’s difficult to categorically attribute differences to sex where sexed bodies are not a definitive factor.

Where sexed bodies are not a definitive factor, isn't that just plain old sexism? Obviously there is in a element of subjectivity in judging whether something is sexist, but that doesn't mean that sexism doesn't exist.

To what extent does sex play a role in processing experiences that are not directly related to sex?

Examples:

• Men who are perceived as female, perhaps because they've swapped email addresses for the day with a female colleague, react with shock to discover how others treat them. Women don't react with shock to that treatment, because it's a day ending in Y for us.
• When a man shouts from his vehicle at a running or cycling woman, she will feel a sexual threat that a running or cycling man wouldn't feel.

www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/gender-inequality-man-woman-switch-names-week-martin-schneider-nicky-knacks-pay-gap-a7622201.html

That was exactly the case I was thinking of, and I forgot to look it up and link to it. Thanks.

Being in a nightclub years ago and some random man grabbed my arm demanding that I dance with him. He was furious when I said no. I still remember the fear creeping through my entire body when I realised no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get him to let go. Thankfully had a male friend to rescue me.

Giving birth to my first child. Shoulder dystocia meant I was pushing for over an hour and getting nowhere. I remember realising that I had nothing left to give and really did think I would die. Thankfully was in a modern hospital with doctors and midwives so everything was okay in the end. It gave me a new perspective for women living in past before modern medicine.

I don’t either. I’m not autistic though, but maybe I should get assessed.

Having my entire lower innards feeling like they are stuck together because I am riddled with endometriosis.

Dislocating your pelvis during childbirth and having to walk around on a broken pelvis for 10
months.

Not being able to use a tampon as a teenager and not being able to work out a way to do it.

Ah yes. Lying on a bed with a mirror and feeling faint!

I read the instructions very carefully and figured out how to put it in... But apparently I didn't read to the end, because I missed the part about pulling the applicator out. Let's just say I spent a rather uncomfortable morning at school, wondering how other girls and women found this any kind of practical solution :D

I used to read the instruction sheet every single month in case it changed, did it for years.

Having to spend a bloody fortune on Hollywood / Brazilian waxes.

I mean, having to spend a fortune on hair removal in general as it’s not socially acceptable or it is deemed unattractive despite completely natural.

Weighing up the cost/effectiveness/environmental benefits of period pants, reusable pads or disposable pads; then realising they all cost a fortune

They force you to have the coil to have anti-migraine meds?

Blimey.

Only for topiramate, because of the risk of harm done to any child conceived whilst on it. For pizotifen and propanolol, you don't need to take contraceptives.

Looking down at my stretched-marked baggy belly, ne'er to be the same post births.

Having a hysterectomy for fibroids.