Living as a woman

[MissScarletInTheBallroom]

This is a thread for people to give examples of experiences which constitute "living as a woman".

I'll go first.

Peeing on a pregnant test and waiting anxiously to see whether a second line appears.

You were lied to.

I took Topirimate (now take Sumatriptan) in my early 40s, still possible for me to get pregnant at the time but no birth control required.

Feeling as if my C-section incision was going to tear open every time I tried to get into or out of bed after having my first baby.

Having to keep going back to gps again and again who label you depressed when you’ve a bunch of physical symptoms that are making life hell (in the end auto immune issues and hypermobility. No advice with how to manage the latter; learning via other women on mn) again feeling like a total failure and hypochondriac. So much so that you end up having to get counselling to be able to confidently say I was not being unreasonable.

Having constant brain fog and memory loss during menopause.

Crying over spilt milk. Big sobbing ugly crying.

The regulations have changed in the last few years www.gov.uk/drug-safety-update/topiramate-topamax-introduction-of-new-safety-measures-including-a-pregnancy-prevention-programme

For bleeding into my clothes on a construction site that only catered to men.

For having a colonoscopy.

When my junior male colleague is addressed instead of me when i am training him.

For being terrified when being kerb crawled by creepy men on my way home.

A man can never and will never live as a woman.

Getting down to the final stage of a recruitment process for a job I really wanted and breaking out in a cold sweat when the recruiter oh-so-casually said, "By the way, can you confirm how old you are?"

(I was 31 but I did get the job and they got nearly four years out of me before my first maternity leave.)

Ah no, been there too with the breat abscess, but i was pumping (not for much longer after I was admitted to hospital). Excrutiating.

I've been on it for a few years and just this year, they made me have a coil put in cos I apparently can still get preggers ! The drug companies are now insisting on it and that you sign a form. I asked them what if you aren't in a relationship or a nun or something and they said, you still have to have the coil or injection. Thought I'd get the Mirena as heard it would finish off my periods once and for all. Thankfully, it has !

Being told when I was 6 or 7 that I need to be quiet, polite, clean and tidy and if I'm not, no one will like me. Being sexually assaulted in a public toilet when I was 12. Being told I'm a freak (and suspecting it myself) because had no boobs or period until I was 15. Having my boobs grabbed hard by a random man when I was 20. Being asked at 25 a job interview if I'm planning to have kids.

Feeling your baby move around inside you. The very best experience.

Things I’ve done that no man ever has:

Having periods
Getting pregnant
Giving birth
Breastfeeding

Things men have done that I never will:

Pee on the toilet seat
Put the bins out

Walking round the flat in the middle of the night with a haakaa filled with warm salty water attached to one boob in a desperate attempt to unclog a blocked milk duct.

Oh yes. 🤩

How could I forget that one?

But it must be the dresses that people want. Apart from having babies (and associated anatomy and hormones) and wearing dresses, I can’t think of anything else I do that a man can/does not.

Agree on baby moving in belly. Best thing ever.

The School repeatedly phoning me first as an emergency contact despite it stating clearly on all forms that my husband is first contact as he has better access to his phone during the working day.

Apparently it also means starting threads to make fun of others

Having a coil removed by a male doctor who insisted I didn’t need painkillers as I was screaming in agony feeling like barbed wire was being pulled out of me because it “shouldn’t hurt that much”.

Then remarked after that the coil had deteriorated and agreed it must have “stung a bit”.

Note: I walked home from the GP surgery with blood dripping down my legs and bled for 3 days afterwards.

Having ectopic pregnancies, fallopian tubes removed and being told I probably couldn’t have children

Not really being in a position to change a job while TTC, no matter how long it takes.

Being raped at 13 years old

Being anxious on public transport or walking out at night as a lone woman.

Being in a meeting and your contribution being dismissed over the opinions of men.

Being invisible as an older woman because you’re no longer considered fuckable.

Ditto if you’re an overweight woman.

Wanting to kick a ball in a park when you’re a young girl but the football facility is dominated by boys.

Having a consultation with an anaesthetist in preparation for a D&C after my third pregnancy loss and being casually asked whether it was an abortion or a miscarriage.