I’ve just done a soft launch at work and need a wee handhold.

[BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop]

I’m so sorry to do this- I’m usually very quiet on these boards as there are many posters who I agree with who are much more erudite than me. I’ve just had a conversation with a really lovely woman at work and pretty much exposed myself as a great big TERF, and now I think she’s away thinking I’m a raging horrible bigot.
I work in the NHS so it’s almost universally captured (although I suspect there’s lots of people who think like me) so now I’m feeling a bit sad and shaky- I would really appreciate a wee handhold.

Does she think that? Or are you just worried she does? How did the conversation go?

It's always nerve wracking! I outed myself at the pub the other day to a chap I thought was a TRA - nope, he's a big fat TERF too. Yay!

What made you think she thinks that? Have a handhold from me.

We were talking about the Witch Trials podcast and I thought I had maybe found a terven pal, but apparently she still thinks JKR is a transphobe. She’s very nice, but seeing as I agree with JKR the likelihood she thinks the same of me.

If you’re a transphobe then embrace being a transphobe and deal with the social fallout of it.

@TheWildZebra thanks for the support babe 👍

Hand holding from me.

I have never understand how people working in the NHS don’t understand biological sex - it’s the basis of everything they do!

Ohhh, take my hand.

Also, in my experience those that disagree with JKR have rarely read any of the things she’s actually written on the subject. Most are just caught up in the TRA hysteria and assume she’s posted on Twitter/X that all trans folk should be crucified or similar. It can be interesting to ask people which statement she made that they disagree with.

Yes, mostly they have never read anything she actually said.

I am in the police and I have been having more and more conversations with colleagues.

Many agree with me straight off, some of them start off with anti terfy sentiments, then I talk about being a rugby player and they agree with me, then they have even brought up TIMs in women's prisons and all agree that's too far, then I bring up searching in custody and they all agree with GC people there, too.

The minute I bring in small, personal details and arguments they all agree that TIMs should not be included in women's spaces.

The only sticking point really is women's toilets and the younger generation tend to just suggest unisex toilets...

Hand hold. It's so so hard and very scary to start discussing this topic x

To be fair she may well be sat at her desk pondering her position, ‘as the lovely Brice doesn’t think JKR is a massive transphobe, so that’s a bit odd!’.

Maybe over time she’ll remember what you said, see a few headlines and videos of moobs being brandished aggressively, and change her position.

"Oh that's interesting, what do you think JKR has done that is transphobic?"

You're in good company! I've given up trying to not sound 'transphobic' as anything vaguely sex realist/GC tends to be deemed transphobic by the be kinders.
There must be an NHS SEEN you can join for moral.

Here take my hand….

I also have recently tentatively started having these conversations at work (in a social care setting so massively captured). It’s ridiculous that it’s scary but it is, so your feelings are valid.

Handhold from me, fellow NHS staff member just quietly trying to make ripples about this. Its so hard when the position always seems to be that if you care about spaces and safety for women and females you’re full of hate and fear.

I got booted off the PoliceUk Reddit group recently for similarly sensible points... Sadly the mods on that group are feral TRAs.

Embrace the science!

If if comes up again, Id gently ask her why she thinks JKR is so bad? Be ready to point out how respectful JKR has been and how she has recognised that trans people do have the right to be/feel safe.

Thank you guys, I’m in the midst of a busy bit at work so am just popping in - I am reading all of your comments and they really are helping ❤️❤️❤️.

Not thinking men can magically become women (or women turn into seahorses) is not transphobic. I am definitely for biological reality - yey! SC agrees with me - but I wish transpeople no ill, as long as the males ones (born with a penis) stay out of women's legally protected single-sex spaces, prizes, refuges, prisons, groups and so forth. If they breach that rule I will report them.

Offering a handhold here! I also work in the NHS but fortunately I know that my line managers are reality based and therefore not trans rights activists which helps.

A handhold and a well done, as I did the same last week for the first time. My company’s staff network went very noisy making dramatic statements after the SC ruling and I started to feel very uncomfortable.

As talk of email pronouns and the like went through my team I realised all of them were completely clueless beyond ‘being kind’, and as my (male) manager was, unbelievably, a complete blank slate on the issue I took my chance to sit down with him and politely open his eyes to the ‘other side’. Started with a very measured tiptoeing around the SC issues and ended blathering on about rapists in prisons. I may have made a massive fool of myself, I may get in trouble yet but I am glad I did it. He tried to understand and I think I succeeded in gaining his support, but what hit me was he really did have no knowledge of anything going on as he simply didn’t consider it a straight man’s business (he’s doing the pronoun thing exactly because it’s no skin off his nose rather than having any independent thought about it).

It’s out in the open now but I can’t be the only one out there. I expected this years ago, so at least I’m prepared.

"Gosh, yes, I believed JKR was transphobic too! And then I wondered why and so I read what she wrote. It was just couple of tweets and a short thing about her reasons. Have you read them - they're quite interesting. [Tinkly laugh/head tilt]"

i am going to read JKRs essay again and pick 3 points that i am going to drop into conversations. Most people i know are very much TWAW so it will be interesting to see if anyone spots it.

Good Luck, OP.

Well done OP - and to everyone raising their voice in the NHS, police forces and anywhere captured by the "trans beeekind and ignore the sterilising of children and abuse of women" brigade.

for the whole lot of you.

This is even better, do this : )

Worked on my 14 year old daughter!